Man this seems so out of the blue that is for sure. To start in case you don't know my nephew lost both his parents this past fathers day. He seemed to be doing so well and adjusting so well but I guess I was wrong. Even now I feel like its my fault because knowing what I know now he would have finished the job if things went fine. To sum things up he came home from school with a note saying he got into a fight. I just told him if he wanted to talk about why he was fighting I would listen. Granted I wasn't mad or angry with him (because I didn't know the facts) but I was upset. I ended up sending him upstairs like always to do his homework. About 15 minutes later I hear a big noise upstairs so I run up and lets just say I wasn't expecting to see what I did. He tried to hang himself in the closet and the hanger bar just snapped out of the wall which caused him to fall to the ground. I ended up being forced to have him baker acted and put in a mental hospital.

The ER doctors said if it wasn't for the bar breaking he would have been killed. He wasn't breathing when EMS got on scene if that gives you an idea just how close this was. Now all I can say to myself is I should have noticed sooner. I knew he was upset and I even said to myself several times that he seemed very quiet upstairs. I always have to go upstairs to get him to turn off the TV and do his homework. I just can't deal with the fact of never knowing if he is feeling fine or not because I can't tell the difference.

For the first time in my entire life when the EMS guys said he wasn't breathing I myself felt like killing myself. I can say if he did kill himself I know I couldn't have lived with myself after that. My problem is that knowing this I'm scared to death to take him in again after all of this. I'm starting to question if him staying with me is the best thing for him because trying to kill himself isn't good. I'm going to have at least a week at home by myself to think about this stuff and right now I don't trust the doctors and such. I would rather listen to people who have been through something like this than these doctors.

Sorry to hear about your losses. How old is your nephew?
Do you have legal guardianship with your nephew now?

Hugs Sandra

Sorry to hear about your losses. How old is your nephew?
Do you have legal guardianship with your nephew now?

Hugs Sandra

Almost 8 years old and yes I have legal custody of him as I'm his godfather. Its been hard enough with my losses. I lost my father and brother. My nephew lost both his parents and his grandfather. This just hasn't been easy for him and this hasn't exactly helped my recovery either.

Do you have children too?
Have you tried grief councelling?

Big hugs sweety.

Sandra

Do you have children too?
Have you tried grief councelling?

Big hugs sweety.

Sandra

No children of my own at least not yet. We both have been to grief councelling many times. We had two just this last week and the doctors seemed to be very happy with how well he has adjusted. I'm going into his school on Monday so I can try and find out what the fight was about. The more I think about this I want to know what this other kid did or said because it set him off and led to what he did. Chris has always been shy and that is more true today. He has never been in a fight and always avoids most kids so I know whatever this kid said got him to think of killing himself. I still think I should have noticed this right away knowing what he is like.

I'm going to visit him soon and allow him the chance to talk with me if he wants. I won't force it but he needs to know that he must start talking to me about this. I do know that it was pure emotion that led this event because he wouldn't stop crying once he woke up in the hospital. He knew exactly what he tried todo and kept on saying sorry.

I also think he understands now that doing something like this can't be changed if he did die. It just scares me to think about what was said or done to drive this much emotion for this specific act. From what the letter said the teachers had to run outside and take Chris down because he kept on kicking this boy even when he was down. This all occured after school so they let him walk home and the school called to make sure he gave me the letter.

Sigh
How old are you hon?
And it sounds like his anger was out coming out big time (concerning the fight). Letting his anger out was a good thing, but he chose the wrong way to let it out. Have you showed him the best way to let his anger out? (Ex: hitting a pillow).

I often wonder why people are thrown such hardships to deal with. I sure have had mine.

Hugs Sandra

Sigh
How old are you hon?
And it sounds like his anger was out coming out big time (concerning the fight). Letting his anger out was a good thing, but he chose the wrong way to let it out. Have you showed him the best way to let his anger out? (Ex: hitting a pillow).

I often wonder why people are thrown such hardships to deal with. I sure have had mine.

Hugs Sandra

I'm almost 25 and yes he must have builtup quite a bit of anger. He never showed much anger so I never thought about telling him how to help his anger. Now that I know I will mention that he can hit his pillow or the sofa if he feels the need and I would make sure to tell him I'd never get mad over this. I've been wondering why people have to face losing more than one person in their family. Its hard enough losing one why three and why a 7 year old has to loose his/her parents is something I'll never understand.

Just in my lifetime I've had the following happen. Firstly I had childhood cancer that almost killed me (sadly I tried to take my life as well). Now I have to watch my brother, his wife and my father die all in the same night on fathers day to boot. Now I have to watch my nephew suffer over this. Now I have to watch my nephew try and take his life. My question is how much more does life have to throw my way because I'm not sure if I can take much more of this. I mean I'm to the point of asking when enough is enough and I'm even starting to wonder how God could put my family and I through this much.

Tell him too, its ok to be angry. You are facing such a hard challenge at such a young age. Big hugs to you sweety. Was it a car accident?

As for me, I had the parents from hell. My father only cared about his drinking. It was my so called mother that was my abuser. And I mean abuser. I was about 14 when I tried to kill myself, to get away from her abuse. I did run at age 16 and never went back. When I was 14 and going through so much I did meet my best friend then. I guess we were each other's saviours. Sad to say she passed when she was 24 of liver disease. I still miss her terribly. It will be 25 years this January since she passed. Plus I have had major health problems too. Plus the financial problems and was almost homeless. I lost my grandfather and my husband to suicide. So I really do know true hardships.

Are you still taking him to therapy?

Hugs Sandra

Tell him too, its ok to be angry. You are facing such a hard challenge at such a young age. Big hugs to you sweety. Was it a car accident?

As for me, I had the parents from hell. My father only cared about his drinking. It was my so called mother that was my abuser. And I mean abuser. I was about 14 when I tried to kill myself, to get away from her abuse. I did run at age 16 and never went back. When I was 14 and going through so much I did meet my best friend then. I guess we were each other's saviours. Sad to say she passed when she was 24 of liver disease. I still miss her terribly. It will be 25 years this January since she passed. Plus I have had major health problems too. Plus the financial problems and was almost homeless. I lost my grandfather and my husband to suicide. So I really do know true hardships.

Are you still taking him to therapy?

Hugs Sandra

Yes it was a car accident. I will be taking him to therapy but right now he has been baker acted into a private mental hospital that focuses on young children who lost a parent(s) and tried to kill themselves. I'll be leaving in about an hour to visit with him so I'll be sure to tell him some of these things and just mainly comfort him.

Oh and you are a very brave and strong person and I admire you greatly for that. I do thank you very much for spending so much time posting. When your at home and alone after something like this its nice to have people to give advice and help you find the best direction to move in. Sometimes you have tons of questions with nobody to answer them.

Again thanks and many hugs back to you.

That is a good place for him for the time.
{removed} is your mother still living?
Anytime you need to vent, I am here sweety. I have a good ear. :)
And give the little sweety a hug from me too. :)

I hope your visit goes well. Let me know how it goes.

Hugs Sandra

That is a good place for him for the time. {removed} is your mother still living?
Anytime you need to vent, I am here sweety. I have a good ear. :)
And give the little sweety a hug from me too. :)

I hope your visit goes well. Let me know how it goes.

Hugs Sandra

{removed} my mother was also in the accident but she survived but she's still in the hospital with a broken hip. Thank you for your kindness and I will give him tons of hugs for you. Also the place he is at is very good (it better be for the kind of money I'm paying that is for sure) and he is better off at this point in time because I'm in no shape to handle things right now.

I wish you all the best sweety. And hope it all works out.

Hugs Sandra

so sorry for your heartache and your nephews. my sister committed suicice after a very difficult life mainly the last ten years of it. we are all different. i had a much harder life than her but some people just don't have it in them. please watch him closely. don't hover over him but watch him. my sister tried in december and then succeded in may. i am not saying your nephew will try again but he is so young. he needs you and professionals to teach him how to cope with life's hardships because there are so many. i have PTSD from multiple hardships that i won't go into. God be with you both.

Mark, have you posted on the post trauma stress disorder board yet? I am sure after what you had gone through, you will have it or sadly will in time. :( And its most understanble if you do. If you read "my mother is toxic" on that board you will see more about my past. :(
{removed}
All the best to you sweety.

Hugs Sandra

I just got home from visiting Chris and I found out from him what this other kid said. Now I don't know how much you have read of my situation but I think he still feels guilty about the fight he had with his parents several days before the accident because his dad couldn't come to his play at school. He mainly wanted to stay with me and he got upset and said he never wanted to see his parents again.

So from what Chris said this other kid Bobby told Chris that his dad killed himself because he didn't want him. This kid also said right smack after that he would kill himself if he made his dad do this. I don't know who this Bobby is but why in the world would he say this is beyond me. What hurts me more is that Chris thinks all this is true. I again told Chris that his parents know he didn't mean one word and they would never leave him if it was their choice. I'm also suprised about the fact that the other parents in the center got upset that I couldn't control my kid (they thought I was his father) and I keep asking myself that maybe they would be more understanding to a crying kid considering what the center is and who they are visiting. I just couldn't believe these people. I could understand the whole Disney World thing but when people are like this in a crisis mental heath ward I have to ask myself why these people didn't get beatup and shot for crying out load. Granted I'd never harm anyone but they were asking for it.

I would have stayed longer but he fell asleep so they put him in his bed and I'll drop over this evening. Oh and the doctors have video camera's in the room so they could monitor him and see what he does when he thinks he is alone. They ended up telling me that he either sleeps or cries with nothing inbetween. They are also going to look into helping him sleep better because the video last night showed him tossing and turning until he wakes up very scared and crying. This happened about four times last night so they feel getting him some meds tonight to stop him from dreaming is needed.

The doctors did say that he will be staying at least two weeks or longer.

Again thanks for all your support and I will start checking out the PTSD forums because I think I either have it or I might soon.

Hi Mark! I have been following your posts and was wondering how he was doing?

Cristie

Hi Mark! I have been following your posts and was wondering how he was doing?

Cristie

I'm not sure how well he is doing at this point. It just seems that its going to take time but the doctors seem to think that he hasn't moved forward but he hasn't moved backwards either. I'm hoping that I can still take him in in a few weeks after what happened to me. I'm not sure what I've been diagnosed with as of yet but from reading the closest thing that seems to fit is a syncope from extreme stress. I've been ordered to get tons of bed rest and to not visit him until at least Monday.

Mark and Sandra, I'm soooo sorry for your losses (i too have many of my own). My heart goes out to you both!!!

Mark-
I just read your posts about Chris, I am so sorry... You are right to wonder how much you can take, I hope that you can get some help for yourself, stress can cause a lot of problems and you surely qualify for being over-stressed.. just know that there are people out here who will listen to you whenever you need it. let us know how Chris and you are doing.

Ann

Mark-
I just read your posts about Chris, I am so sorry... You are right to wonder how much you can take, I hope that you can get some help for yourself, stress can cause a lot of problems and you surely qualify for being over-stressed.. just know that there are people out here who will listen to you whenever you need it. let us know how Chris and you are doing.

Ann

Thanks again for the kind words. I've been sleeping quite a bit these last few days. Overall I feel better except for just feeling very sick to my stomach when I wake up the last two days. I've been leaving crackers near my bed so I don't have to clean the floor again. I'm seeing one of the hospital doctors this afternoon (don't the doctors know its Saturday) to check everything out again so I'll ask about this morning problem. I also workout on the treadmill everyday and this last week I've tired out within 10 minutes and I never had problems going an hour straight so this still worries me and I'll be pressing the doctors on this.

So I guess I'm doing good but sadly my good nowadays would be a horrid week for most.

Mark-

Sleeping is probably good for you, you have gone through so much and you probably have missed out on a lot of the sleep that you have needed these past few months. I hope that the doctors can be of some help to you, you need your health to be good in order to be there for chris. Have you been getting updates from the doctors on how chris is doing these past couple of days? hopefully giving him something to help him sleep will help, it must be hard for him to make it through the day when he isnt sleeping at night. Having shared stories with you shortly after the accident happened, I have thought about the two of you and wondered how things were going. so when i read this most recent problem with chris my heart broke for you, you have been trying so hard.. hopefully the doctors will be able to help the two of you..

ANN

Mark-

Sleeping is probably good for you, you have gone through so much and you probably have missed out on a lot of the sleep that you have needed these past few months. I hope that the doctors can be of some help to you, you need your health to be good in order to be there for chris. Have you been getting updates from the doctors on how chris is doing these past couple of days? hopefully giving him something to help him sleep will help, it must be hard for him to make it through the day when he isnt sleeping at night. Having shared stories with you shortly after the accident happened, I have thought about the two of you and wondered how things were going. so when i read this most recent problem with chris my heart broke for you, you have been trying so hard.. hopefully the doctors will be able to help the two of you..

ANN

The doctors allow Chris to call me anytime he wants during the day and I've talked to him and at least told him why I'm not visiting him. I'll be seeing him Monday that is for sure. I also just got home from my doctors appointment and the doctors are worried about the morning issues so they have ordered more tests. While I was there they did another EKG and a stress test. The stress test wasn't what it should have been but the EKG was normal. I also did something called a tilt test and I'll get the results of this on my next visit on Monday. The last stress test showed that something more was wrong but they don't know what. In case you wanted to know my first stress test was perfect. I also hope that the docs can help because from my point of view I can't handle this on my own.

Mark-
Hopefully the Doctors will be able to pinpoint what is going on with you and be able to treat it.. and the hospital where Chris is sounds like it it doing everything that it can to help him.. poor kid losing both parents and his grandfather and than having to deal with mean kids at school.. have you spoken to the school? maybe they need to have the counselors or someone talk to his class so they will understand what he is going through a little better (regarding losing his parents), sometimes kids say mean things because they dont know what to say...i bet you would like to talk to that kid one on one for a few minutes... keep the site informed about chris and yourself..
Take Care
Ann

Mark-
Hopefully the Doctors will be able to pinpoint what is going on with you and be able to treat it.. and the hospital where Chris is sounds like it it doing everything that it can to help him.. poor kid losing both parents and his grandfather and than having to deal with mean kids at school.. have you spoken to the school? maybe they need to have the counselors or someone talk to his class so they will understand what he is going through a little better (regarding losing his parents), sometimes kids say mean things because they dont know what to say...i bet you would like to talk to that kid one on one for a few minutes... keep the site informed about chris and yourself..
Take Care
Ann

I did have a one on one with this kid and his parents explaining what occured. His parents were very sorry about everything and the kid does feel very bad for saying what he said mainly after I told him what Chris tried todo because of those hurtfull words. I know some would advice against saying this to this kid but he must know how powerfull words can be in times of crisis. I also liked the parents asking their son to think about how he would feel if his parents died. At least what is good is that this kid can now put himself into Chris's shoes to at least understand how hurtfull people can be.

I can say that I felt that this kid did feel very bad for what he said and that he is very sorry for it. Also the school will be explaining what happened when Chris gets back.

Sorry to hear about your nephew mark, i will be praying for him.......I hate when i hear about suicides, i mean i know nobody like to hear of them but its got to be pretty bad for someone to go to those lengths to take their own life, its so sad....How long has he been living with you??

Sorry to hear about your nephew mark, i will be praying for him.......I hate when i hear about suicides, i mean i know nobody like to hear of them but its got to be pretty bad for someone to go to those lengths to take their own life, its so sad....How long has he been living with you??

Not many people understand why someone would try and take their life. Now they can't even imagine why a 7 year old would do such a thing which I guess is why so many parents for example never see it coming.

He has been living with me since Fathers Day which is when his parents and my father were killed.

Hi Mark :) So sorry for the many horrible things you have had to deal with . You said something about why would a 7 year old want to take his own life......? .

{removed}

Just an update for you all. Firstly I got very sick and was in the hospital for almost a month. I needed to have a pacemaker put in. After the pacemaker was put in they found that it was a rare defective one. So I had another attack which required surgery again to replace it. Once they replaced it I ended up having an allergic reaction to the steristrips or whatever they call them. That ended up somehow infecting my bloodstream somehow which required me to need chemo to kill everything out. So that took three weeks until I could go home having to wear a mask all of the time. I'm starting to wonder how much more can go wrong. What is good is that my nephew is home with me and now he feels guilty because he thinks I've got sick because of what he tried todo. I just can't win can I. I've of course told him that my problems had nothing todo with what he did or didn't do and its just life. I said life isn't always fair and that we have to deal with it the best we can. That does have a lot of truth to it doesn't it. I've been home for about a week now and my nephew is or seems to be lightyears better than before and he is taking some meds. He still wakes up at night from nightmares and the doctors think this won't change for a long time. Its something he might always have nightmares of even as an older adult just not as often as now.

The doctors said as a sidenote that his teenage years should seem to be a breeze compared to other parents because it doesn't get much worse than this. At least the hospital my nephew was at allowed him to visit me when I was well but they had to supervise him and bring him back until they released him. All in all they have been very good at handling our various needs.

I also now admire these kids who have to go through chemo at such a young age because I was a frickin wimp going through one round of chemo. Kids can be so much stronger than we all think and in many cases stronger than we would ever be.

Mark - I am SO sorry.

Were you involved with this boy when his parents were alive? Were you around them a lot with Chris? Eight years old and trying to kill himself...I am so sorry. The immense pain and grief he is going through has to be more then he can bear. Let's face it, even adults can barely go on when a loved one dies, how does an 8 year old process it?

All I can say is that I am glad for Chris that he has you - I hope you ARE able to work through this with him because it may be another "loss" to Chris if you don't keep him? Is your relationship with him close?

I guess I don't know enough to really help here. There is a lot of information I don't know in terms of the type of relationship you had with Chris prior to his parents death.

Please think long and hard BEFORE you throw in the towel. Please.

Good luck to you - please post back if you would like. :)

Pillz

Mark,
You are amazing young man.Your nephew is a very lucky little guy to have you in his life.
You both have endured losing loved ones at young ages.

Chris seems to be a remarkable young man living through a daily night mare.

It seems you both are back on the right track.

I have 2 nephews who attempted suicide.The 17 year old was strung out on drugs,hopefully he has gotten the proper help.The 18 year old was over a girl,that one lives with me and after 4 years he finally has it together (I pray).

Mark keep up the good work

Toni

I've been very close with my family including young Chris and I'm never going to throw in the towel that is for sure. Its been hard for him and I and its done its toll on our guilt that is for sure. I feel guilty about many things and I know if I'm feeling this way that Chris most surely goes as well. I lost my brother and my father which is hard enough considering how close of a family we are. Now my nephew Chris lost both his mother and father and his grandfather. I'm having enough trouble getting over the loss of my father as an adult just think about how he feels losing both his parents at such a young ago and worst being in the car when it happened and worse waking up with his mother on top of him dead and having nightmares from it every single night. I just can't even imagine the horror of this even if I tried and that makes it even harder to help him because when you don't understand what is going through the little tikes mind you can you know what to look for, what to ask and what to say. I'm just going to say that I would never wish anything like this on even my worse enemy because nobody no matter who they are or what they have done deserves this....Nobody!

Mark; Ditto what Toni said--couldn't have said it any better myself. I've followed your story since it began, never feeling like I should intrude. But I thought you needed another well-deserved pat-on-the-back. I just want you to know how sorry I am for your loss-and that you have to go through this. You have three angels watching and helping you thru. Chris is such a lucky boy!!!! He has been thru so much--and just reading your story brought tears to my eyes--let alone thinking abt the perspective of a 7yr old.....it's not fair...

I also hope you're feeling better--you have been through so much emotionally--but now add the physical side....I just don't know how you do it. Keep your chin up. If you can get thru that-heart probs, chemo--you can do anything~!! Your mom (and dad) should be very proud of you...they "done good." Hope you're feeling better. Gina

Mark; Ditto what Toni said--couldn't have said it any better myself. I've followed your story since it began, never feeling like I should intrude. But I thought you needed another well-deserved pat-on-the-back. I just want you to know how sorry I am for your loss-and that you have to go through this. You have three angels watching and helping you thru. Chris is such a lucky boy!!!! He has been thru so much--and just reading your story brought tears to my eyes--let alone thinking abt the perspective of a 7yr old.....it's not fair...

I also hope you're feeling better--you have been through so much emotionally--but now add the physical side....I just don't know how you do it. Keep your chin up. If you can get thru that-heart probs, chemo--you can do anything~!! Your mom (and dad) should be very proud of you...they "done good." Hope you're feeling better. Gina

I know my parents, brother and his wife would be very proud and happy with what I've done. I'm not sure how I'm keeping myself going but its very hard. I'm just so tired, sick and just plain stressed out that its hard to do anything for longer than 15 minutes. I guess the bright side is that things can only get better or at least that is what I'm deeply hoping for but I can't say that and mean it now. I thought things would only get better but when you needed to be cut open twice and have chemo shortly after your nephew tries to kill himself that makes you think twice in saying things can only get better. I think things will get better but if your in my shoes you can't believe that 100% considering that if your in my shoes you know in your heart that your not 100% better and things could still happen beyond your control. The same goes for Chris as well.

The only problem is that I'd like to go back to work to take my mind off of thinking about the thousands of ways things can go wrong but I'm not even close to well enough to even attempt this. I'm trying to view things in good terms but I can't deny that this last month or so has been pure hell to say the least. I've been on the verge of just snapping twice in the last month and it scares me to say the least because I see myself slowly turning into a person that just isn't me.

Just to make sure you know my comments above are looking back and not the way I feel at the present. Right now I feel quite a bit of hope but as anything I'm still going to be tired, sick and stressed. Also my neighbors have got wind of my hospital stay and what has gone on (how they found out is beyond me but I could care less at this point) so they have been kindof checking on us during the afternoon. What is funny is I've actually invited them in and watched some TV and talked a little bit. I like it because they don't pry and it takes my mind off of all the bad things that have happened. Also home cooked food delivered to my door is very nice when your sick, tired and can't drive to pick something up if you know what I mean. You can only take chinese and pizza takeout so long.

Hi Mark - I missed the post about you getting sick - geez, you have the "black cloud" that follows me around, too :-)

I had chemo when I was 21 (6 months worth, followed by radiation) - I was diagnosed with small cell ovarian cancer with the birth of my second son. Thank goodness I had my boys at a young age because after chemo/radiation and surgeries, I can no longer have kids. I am 37 now.

So, Chris is your nephew. I also missed that part, I'm sorry. I should have made sure I read all of the posts before posting my reply the first time - although, I am thinking we may have posted at the same time or close to the same time b/c I didn't see that post (that you were sick etc.) until now. Anyway, I am glad your nephew seems better, but as you have learned, looks can be deceiving. One good thing about your nephew being so young is that time is on his side. He will NEVER "get over" his parent's death, but with time, he will get used to it and once he hits his teen years, hopefully, he will be well adjusted and thankfully he has you :-)

Keep up the good work - being a parent is a tough job, I can't imagine becoming an instant parent all of a sudden, to an 8 year old boy no less. As hard as it is right now, it WILL get easier with time. Everything will fall into place, new "norm's" will be created without your even realizing it. Like, I think one of your posts stated that when Chris get's home from school, he goes to his room to do homework. Well, that is a new "norm" that was created between the 2 of you. Certain expectations will be set without your even having to say what they are, they will just form. There are a lot of rewards when it comes to raising kids. It is the toughest job you will ever LOVE.
Pillz

Hi Mark, I also wanted to commend you on the good job you are doing with your nephew. I mean you experienced such a tragic loss yourself and yet your nephew's was so much more tragic. I have been following your story and was a bit worried when you hadn't posted. How is your mother doing? Is she done recovering and out of the hospital. I am sure she is also going through a tough time as well. I ran across your post around the time I lost my 15 year old cousin. This Friday will be a month. He and a friend were playing with a gun; it turned tragic and he lost his life. I have tried to be strong for my family, but sometimes I am just so lost for words and don't know how to confort. I know my aunt has asked several times how much more does she have to endure in this lifetime. She has really gone through some rough times compaired to others. It makes me appreciate what I have.
Anyway, know you, your nephew, and your mother are in my prayers. Good luck.

Thank you all for being so kind and caring. My mother is out of the hospital but in a wheel chair and she will be walking again but that will take time gaining strength again. She has been very worried after hearing about myself and Chris and its killing me inside for her to see this family fall apart right in front of her eyes so to speak. We must remember that she lost her husband of over 30 years because they met and got married right after college in their twenties. They both were in their 60s when this happened. Its so much harder for a family to support one another when we lost somebody we loved as well. My grandparents have passed away about six years ago in a car crash as well so car crashes haven't exactly been new for us. What ticks me off is that both car crashes have been caused by another drunk driver. What is it with drunk drivers and our family because it seems that they target us for some reason.

Oh and one other problem now is that my brothers wife's family has sent a court ordered notice questioning the will Chris's parents left giving me the money as the POA. So it seems that they all the sudden in another state want both the money and the house now. They won't win this but its just another thing that I have to deal with now. Its quite sad that her family cares more about their house and money instead of the fact that they lost a family member. They should know they could never win because the will clearly states that everything goes to Chris and that I'm the POA for him. Why would they think that they have more rights to this than Chris does regardless of the will. The will just makes it and locked and closed case and they still are taking it to court. Why would they do this to us and what would they gain expect anger and resentment afterwards. I guess money could bring the worst out of people. They never bothered to send cards or even fly in once for Christmas or his Birthday expect now.

Hi Mark -

I am glad to hear your mom is out of the hospital now - now she can begin to heal. I have always felt that it is hard to heal IN the hospital because you get woken up so much through the night and also, the hospital is a germy place, at least in my neck of the woods :)

As far as your brother's wife's family and their contesting the will, try NOT to let this worry you too much - no matter how much you worry, it won't change a thing - I know, easier said then done, but you are right, what are her parent's/family thinking? If they really want what is best for Chris, why would they take the things (his house and belongings) he is used to and is "normal" to him, away from him? I am assuming, of course, that you moved in with him - I would be willing to bet his house etc. has to offer some comfort to him - although, for a lot of adults who have lost a significant other, the house they shared is sometimes too hard to stay in with all the memories. So, I guess it could go either way - I am guessing since Chris is so young, the house would offer some comfort...?

Anyway, hang in there. As I mentioned in one of my posts, time is on yours and Chris' side. You and he will NEVER GET OVER what has happened, but time will allow for you both to get used to the idea of your loved ones being gone - and they are gone physically, not spiritually - keep them in your heart....

-pillz

Mark, I am sooo sorry you are now having to deal with your late sister-in-laws family. That is the last thing you need on your plate. It is true however that money brings out the worst in people. My husbands family used to be a very close nit family until his grandfather won a law suit for lead poisoning. He won enough for generations and generations to live good lives. However when his spouse passed away, half of the children wanted to have him declared incompetent while the other half were grieving for their mother. Needless to say, it tore the family up and 15yrs later no one speaks to one another and the grandfather is still alive and well. His children will get no money until he passes. Anyway, sorry to stray from subject. It just upsets me that this is happening to you. I am assuming her family no longer supported her. Your brother and her and made a life of their own and it only makes sense that their son Chris be left everything. Are they going to try to take Chris too or do they just want the material stuff?? Trying to take Chris away would be the worst for everyone, especially Chris. I am glad to hear your mother is doing okay physically. Keep in touch.

Mark, I am sooo sorry you are now having to deal with your late sister-in-laws family. That is the last thing you need on your plate. It is true however that money brings out the worst in people. My husbands family used to be a very close nit family until his grandfather won a law suit for lead poisoning. He won enough for generations and generations to live good lives. However when his spouse passed away, half of the children wanted to have him declared incompetent while the other half were grieving for their mother. Needless to say, it tore the family up and 15yrs later no one speaks to one another and the grandfather is still alive and well. His children will get no money until he passes. Anyway, sorry to stray from subject. It just upsets me that this is happening to you. I am assuming her family no longer supported her. Your brother and her and made a life of their own and it only makes sense that their son Chris be left everything. Are they going to try to take Chris too or do they just want the material stuff?? Trying to take Chris away would be the worst for everyone, especially Chris. I am glad to hear your mother is doing okay physically. Keep in touch.

First my brothers wife's family doesn't have much money to start. My brother met his wife in college and her family was never made aware about my families wealth and my brother wanted it this way for a few reasons. One he knew her family would destroy them in the long run and it was his wife that wanted this the most. Second my brother had plans to go his own way and do everything himself which my family had no problems with. Also Chris is living with me at his parents house as this was what Chris wanted.

The issue we are having now is that somehow her relatives got wind about our family and they now want my brothers life insurance policy that my father got him long before his marriage. They also did try and take Chris away but an emergency hearing was held that day and the judge heard both sides and actually laughed at them so that was thrown out and I still have custody now which helps my case greatly now. My brother also got his wife and himself and joint life insurance policy so that if either of them or both died it would be paid out to Chris with myself having POA. This was setup years before so its very hard for them to dispute now.

I don't want to say how much money is involved but if you add everything up lets just say its several 23 million to 1 winning tickets. That includes everything from what my father left to both myself and my mother and what Chris has that I have POA of. Now most of that money is in the company so its nothing I can actually spend but its still valued well enough. That isn't even including my parents houses either.

I didn't really want to get into this but for them to sue like this you must know now that it must be enough money to warrant their effort. I've been tempted to just give them a set amount and have them sign away their right to anything else just to get them away and I also think my brothers wife would have wanted it this way.

Mark,

you're late sister-in-laws family has forgotten the meaning of life,greed has surcomed them.They have forgotten that Chris and his well being comes first and it is costly raising a child.Shame on them.With every thing you and Chris have endured,the added stress of this.Apparently they are not very caring people.Does Chris keep in touch with these relatives?
Mark how is your health doing are you regaining your strength?Hows Chris doing?Is he back in school are are the children being nicer.
keep up the excellent work you are doing.
Toni