Aunt's husband is 88...he has always been in good health. Up until a few months ago. All the suden he is acting so strange. he thinks he's dying. he says he has an infection in his brain. He says he can't sleep, doesn't eat anything but chicken noodle soup...he has lost weight. He's been to doctor, one that's not too good, I call a quak..he put him on antibiotics and the other day he gave him a script for Xanax and Ambien for sleep. I can not believe a doctor would give a man that old those two drugs. He is giving things away, worried about the house. Says it's falling apart. had a guy come over and put in new heat and air (old units were fine) the guy charged him $8000 and he didn't get a receipt, a warranty...nothing...his wife is ill with cancer...but she's still getting around and doing well. She's not sure what to do. he's driving her crazy...........does dementia come on this fast??? What doc should he see to get this checked out...thanks for any replies.... :angel:

It does sound like dementia. Try to get him to a neurologist. if he really has Alzheimer's someone else will need control over his finacnes before he gives away his last shirt ..one of the rational family members has to get Power of Attorney ..

I hope it isn't that - such symptoms can also be caused by other infections, etc ..some are curable ..

Come back and tell us how this turns out!

love,

martha

Everything you describe sounds like some form of dementia. He should be seen by a Neuologist. It could be that the medications he has been given are not what he needs but only a Neurologist will be able to determine that. Please keep a very close eye on his finances. Giving away money or writing checks to people who would take advantage of his lack of judgement is all too common. The statistics suggest that by age 85 50% of the population suffers from Alzheimer's disease. :confused:

Just on a note: Dementia sometimes appears to be instantaneous because all of a sudden, bizarre behaviour slams you in the face and makes you take notice.

I know with MIL, with all the retrospective thinking we've been doing lately, she was exhibiting signs of dementia 8 years ago when my 'baby' was 2. We didn't notice then, and it wasn't until her speech went awry that even THEN we didn't notice dementia, just a speech problem, I guess it's only been 3 years we've REALLY noticed some strange things happening ... and when your around them, you tend to not notice, and subconsiously cover up any goofs. I'm not saying you and your family have done that, but it seems to be a similar story across the board.

Make an appointment with the doctor for you ... talk to him about your fears and events ... see what he says. Your Uncle may have dementia and therefore what he tells you can't be guaranteed as true and I daresay your Aunt is under a lot of stress herself and has probably been covering up odd events for longer than you could imagine.

As the girls have said: Find an Eldercare Attorney. Get your Aunt and Uncle SAFE. This is the most important thing -- and can't be stressed enough .. there are horrible people in the world who will take advantage of them ... which you have already discovered .. and NOW is the time to act. Dont' delay !!

I wish you the best, it's a horrible time, but cover yourself, do your best and the right things will happen.

Cheers
Sally

Hi Flintrock -

Be sure to check out the sticky up top of the thread about the Stages of Alzheimers. Certainly wish you well as you seek a way to help.

The advice about an Eldercare attorney is very helpful. Your elder family members need to be protected from the preditors among us. A DPOA is the only legal way for you or someone in the family to do that for your aunt and her husband.

Wishing you well - Barbara

Hi, it sounds like a dementia of some form, but symptoms could possibly be more severe by some form of infection - urine infections can really knock elderly people off their feet, so get a urine sample asap. You need to speak to a psychogeriatrician to get a diagnosis. There are 4 main types of dementia, so be sure to include all information to ensure you get the correct diagnosis. It does sound like its moving fast - the average lifespan from diagnosis is 8 years (for Alzheimers), but I work with people with the disease and some have lasted 20 yrs. And remember, dementia is not a 'mental' problem, its memory loss that will never return as that part of the brain has been destroyed. Keeping your uncle mentally active ie crosswords, documentaries on tv, old war stories etc will do him the world of good too. Good luck :)

Thanks for all your replies. He is getting worse by the week. My aunt made him a doctor's appointment with a geriatric doc...(sp) was for tuesday and she called and cancelled because he said he was not going.....She's about to lose her mind. He is taying up late and walking the floors...won't take his meds..won't eat much of anything...won't bathe.....says he's dying....worried the house is going to catch fire...he worries about things that he conjurs up in his mind....started talking about his guns the other day and she had to get them and hide them....he had them loaded!!!! I told her he needs to see the doc and find out what's going on. She can't pick him up and make him go...what can she do???

Hi Flintrock,

Do you live anywhere near them? Maybe you should go over and get the guns, sometime when he is gone or asleep?! That would be safer. I put gun locks on my dads guns, but left them there. He never looks at his, tho.

Maybe the other ladies will offer more & better advice in the am Monday. There should be someone - like a state or city official type person/dept. that can come out and check on him. Like they do with children and elders that are suspected of being abused?! I am not saying that your aunt is abusing him, just that they or someone like them, might be able to help.

If nothing else, call your local (or the nearest big city) Alzheimers Association. Tell them your story. They will listen and probably will offer you some solutions or things to try. And it does help to call them. I have called them once in the Houston area. I think it is time for me to call and talk to them again!

Hope you help your aunt (somehow) get some help for herself and your uncle!

Take care. Love, Wannabe

Thanks! I have to do something. My husband is going over there and get the guns...Aunt sleeps with her bedroom door locked...she's beginning to get afraid...something has to be done...........

Hi. Alarm bells are ringing. Your aunt cant live locked up in her bedroom. She HAS to get someone out to assess him now, or the situation could turn bad. I've seen this once before, and as soon as help was demanded, the man was taken into long term care. Could your aunt not get him emergency respite care somewhere? This can quite often lead to a permanent move somewhere. Can your aunt not crush his tablets and put them in food she knows he will eat? It sounds like he desparately needs his medication as it can relieve some of the symtoms eg thinking the house wil go on fire - the paranoia. I really hope this is sorted out soon.
Good luck x

She called me lst night and said he was complaining about not having a bathroom. she has the full bath and he has a 1/2 bath..has for 30 years. he doesn't take baths or showers..he takes sponge baths..has for 30 years...can't imagine but he does. She was so tired of hearing it, that she made him get in the shower and sit down on chair and she bathed him. he could hardly get out of the tub....prob the first real bath he's had in 30 years...was a strange man even when he was normal....but each day, it seems to get worse. they are not doctor people...very untrusting. she was diagnosed with colon cancer 2 years ago and would not go for treatment. she is starting to go downhill. So, she can't take care of him much longer. she cancelled his appointment with doctor for tomorrow because he said he was not going............period........I told her she should just tell him she has a doc appointment and then when they get there the doc can pretend.........she could call doc ahead of time.........and explain..........who knows what she'll do. they are both so hard to deal with........he's a very wealthy man and is complaining that he doesn't have the money to pay the boy that mows the yard.......

Hi, cant the dr come to the house? This is the only way he is going to get treatment by the looks of things, and he needs to quickly x

Update....Va is taking him tomorrow. (thursda) for an evaluation. I know what they'll say...early signs of alz...then he will be transported to full time care facility. I just hope tomorrow he will go peacefully...if not..they call an ambulance and tell them he's an alz patient and is not willing to go..........hope that doesn't happen....aunt is just in a bad way...she can't take much more with him. he's up all night...doesn't eat...her brother came over last night and tonight to spend the night. She is scared to stay alone with him....he's scaring her....she doesn't undestand all this either. And when you have no idea what this disease does, it is scary....i've been around it and she hasn't....thanks for all your help guys! I'll keep you posted.

Hi Flintrock,

That is great news about your uncle going to the VA today! I hope that they do put him in a full time care place for alzheimers patients. It sounds like he is becoming/is dangerous!!!

Who set up the VA appointment?! Do they do regular veterans that have not been injured?! My dad is a vet, but not injured.

Let us have an update on you goings on. Come back and rant, Wannabe

Hi, thats great. Hope it goes well x

Well, aunt changed mind about VA...they would take him...but a friend of mine told me about a place in Little Rock at St. vincent's Hospital and aunt called and they called her back and they took him over there. It's a great place. They will keep him for a couple weeks, do evaluation, get him on meds and then we'll see what she does. He will have to go to long term care somewhere...she can't care for him, and we all know it will get worse..........but for now.........he's safe and she's relieved!!!!!!!! thank you all...and yes VA would have taken and evaulated him....and gotten him on meds...but she didn't want VA..she wanted a real hospital that deals with this sort of thing on a daily basis..............thanks again...........

Thats really good, I'm pleased for you all. Hope everything works out well x

I am so glad to hear that he is in a good place and getting care.
So sorry to hear of your Aunt's illness, too.
Our older relatives are so precious to us and it hurts so much to see them suffer.
Take care,
Linda In CA