First a little background.

It's been years now that i've been abusing my ears with loud music. Concerts, extended use of headphones (about 6-8 hours a day), you name it.

The 'problem' started about a year ago when i was suddenly exposed to very loud music (my father cranked his car stereo to max for about 4 minutes untill i couldn't hold it anymore and shut the thing off for him).

I guess that was the last drop of water because i after that i retained severe hyperacisis and a little tinnitus (in my case a continous soft static like that of a TV screen).

For 3 whole months i feared the worst, but after a while the hyperacusis receded to a decent level and a earing test confirmed my hearing was still normal.

I resumed my normal life, this time trying not to abuse loud noises anymore, cutting headphones completely ect. ect.

Sadly, it seems that i just can't prevent getting exposed to loud noises. As much as i try (i never go out the house without hearplugs in my pocket) seems certain things are just out of my control, and every incident sets me back a little further.

Right now i feel like my earing is getting constantly worst yet further tests have shown normal hearing (he didn't even found packed wax or anything) to the point the doctor doesn't even recommend a MRI.

My tinnitus hasn't changed at all, and my hyperacusis has been on a confortable level though after each new exposure it gets worst for a while.

Yet, my hearing just feels horrible. I can hear everything fine as long there aren't any back ground noises, however, in loud restaurants or stores problems arise though i can still manage.

The biggest problem however is listening to music. Maybe i have a loss in the specific frequences emitted by speakers, i don't know, but everytime i put on a cd it's like i'm listening to my stereo from the next room with the door closed. I can hear it, It just doesn't 'feel' like i'm getting sound in my ears, it's like i'm wearing ear plugs 24 hours a day. If i raise the volume, it doesn't feel like it's getting louder and i can't hear any better, i just get unconfortable untill i have this 'lump' in my throat, like a chocking sensation, then i can't stand any sound for the rest of the day. Also, and this has been happening since the past 5 months, every now and then one of my ears (it happens more often in my right) goes 'off', not like it's popping up, i just feel a shift in my earing though it's not exactly a loss, just a change. Everytime that happens i'm left with a very loud high pitched noise which lasts for half a minute or so.

I really don't know what's going on, but it has made listening to music almost pointless in that i just don't even enjoy it anymore.

This shouldn't bother me as much and i should be glad my earing is still relatively good but the issue is that music it's the only thing i have. Since i was a child i've been suffering from sever social anxiety and depression. I lived a life of complete seclution and solitude and it's only been getting worsts. At 27, i have nearly no friends and i still don't know what love is, never even kissed a girl ect. ect.. Music is the only that has managed to bring some releif in my life and it's a sad joke that i had to screw myself up by abusing it.

All i want to know is, is it possible that i have a loss even though it doesn't show on a test (and how reliable a test that is, what if i'm just imagining the lowest sounds with that blasted tinnitus getting amplified in that isolated room ?). What's going on with that chocking feeling i get when i try to raise the volume even if only slightly ? Why does it feel like i'm not getting any sound even though i can hear it ? What's up with my ears going off constantly for no reason ?

I know that compared to some of the people here my problems may seem laughtable but my depression is on an all time low and i really don't know what do if it turns out i have to give up on music. What am i going to do then ?

Hello,

Not sure about why you aren't hearing the music right. Maybe the tinnitus is interferring with the way you are hearing the music. I know that some of the test for inner ear disorders are not always accurate, but I am pretty sure that the audiograms to test for hearing are pretty accurate so I would assume your hearing is probably fine. It sounds to me that the music may be muffled because you are playing it in another room with the door closed. Have you tried playing it in the same room but at a reasonable volume level? If the volume is low, it will not cause damage. It is the excessively loud music that will cause damage, like what your father did in his car. As for the hyperacisis, try playing with some of the settings on your radio for bass (the equilizer). Maybe that will help with some of the background music that may be causing sensativity to your ears.

As for your other problems, ear problems can bring on depression and anixety but it sound as if you had that well before this happened. Since your hearing tests are coming back fine I suggest focusing your energy on helping yourself get over the depression and develope some self-esteme. Try getting involved in something socially. Maybe a singles club or do you have any special interests like reading, sports, etc. Try getting envolved in something like that perhaps you'll make some friends. Have you tried talking to a therapist? I know it seems corny at first but it is nice to have someone listen to your problems. Lastly, as for love, that comes at a different pace for everyone and if it is true love you turn out to be a very lucky person. Concentrate on boosting your self-esteem and getting rid of your depression and love will probably find you ;) .

Take care and relax and your ears will probably feel better. Anixety can make ear symptoms seem worst; just read all the posts on this board.

Best,
Gloria :wave:

It sounds to me that the music may be muffled because you are playing it in another room with the door closed.

Erm, that was just the analogy i used to describe how the 'muffling' felt. I'm actually right in front of my stereo, it just 'feels' like i'm listening to it from the other room :)

Silly me. That makes more sense. Sorry I have some vision problems due to my inner ear illness and don't always see real well.

You may be suffering from some fullness in your ears which can makes things sound muffled. It sounds like you may have some inner ear damage (probably the little hairs on the cochlear (s.p?)). You can do a search on the internet to find out more about this. Fullness feeling can come from many things inflamation, changes in fluid in your inner ear (meniere's; hydrops), damage to the little hair on the cochlear and sometimes doctors just don't know why your ears can have fullness. I symphasize with you in this area becasue I've had full ears 24/7 since the first week of January. The first 6 months where horrible because it felt like my head was going to explode. The good news is almost everyone that suffered from full ears say they recovered from that side effect. Mine all started from a virus/ear infection that started the first week of December. Some people get a muffled sound from this. It seems as if yours was damaged from the noise.

On the other hand, I know that hearing loss after loud noise exposure can happen gradually over time too. Things start to sound muffled but lets just hope that your ears were temporarily damaged and will heal with time. How much time no one knows with this inner ear stuff. Some recover in 3 - 4 months while others take 3 years.

What I have found out is that it is recommend to have a hearing test every 3 - 6 months when you have an inner ear problems. I would see an ENT if your hearing continues to sound muffled and he will probably do another audiogram.

If you do a search on the internet on damage to ears from loud noises you may find some helpful information.

I hope that helps and sorry for the confusion.

Take care,
Gloria