Okay... so.... Here's the deal...

I have been having these 'thoughts' for...well... a really long time. A few years probably...

And well...they are really random things... that if I would do I would either hurt others or myself... things like... I will be driving down the highway and think... "Hmm..what if I ran into those yellow barrells?" Or "What if I just drove up to the lake and right over the side into it?" or "What if I ran over that guy on a bike?" and other things like "What if I went home took an entire bottle of asprin, would anyone care?" and then there are "What if I left and never came back" or "What if I... "

It could be any number of things and it usually pertains to what I am doing. Like, I stage manage at a local theatre and I've had things pop into my head in the middle of the shows..thing like, "What if I just left in the middle of the show?" "What if I ran out onstage and started screaming FIRE FIRE!"

Now that you probably thing I am nuts...here's the kicker... I would NEVER in a million years even begin to do ANY of the things and I have NO CLUE as to why I am even thinking them in the first place. This really FREAKS me out. When these thoughts come into my head I usually try to just push them out...and other times I fight with myself trying to frgure out why in the heck I am thinking that when I'd never do it.

Now, I am maybe just a little off beat and blowing this out of proportion, or is there something I should know?

I have not ever told ANYONE for fear that they would freak out and tell me I'm nuts and need to be in a psycho ward...and I almost did not post anything here...in fact I waited for a LONG time.

AD

I would definitely seek some counseling for this issue. I had had many,many thoughts like this for a long time and thought I would never act on them....but when things finally got unbearable....I was amazed at how easy it was to act out these thoughts....please don't wait until it is too late.

Plus, if you get help now, you WILL NOT be put in a "nut ward" (don't like that name as I have been there, and don't like being thought of as a nut, but anyway). No one will punish you for getting help, they will just want to help you.

You sound like a very curious person and question relationships and life in general, which may be completely harmless, but don't wait until you are at wits end to learn whether or not it is serious. Please seek some sort of counseling.

LOTS AND LOTS OF HUGS!

-Angel :angel:

you're not nuts. I have them too. what you're having are called intrusive thoughts. it sounds like you have OCD. Do a little research on obcessive compulsive disorder. You're no where near crazy.... :)

Man, if that's not some sort of sign of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, I don't know what is! lol! :D I'm a fellow OCD-er, so if you have any questions, feel free to ask me. Good luck and God bless! :angel:
-GatsbyLuvr1920-

I went to the doctor, and he more or less agreed with me... Basically, if the medication he put me on works, it's OCD...which would explain why Welbutrin XL (sp?) did not work. Because that medication does not treat the chemical that causes ocd. He put me on Lexapro. I hope it works... I am getting sick, literally, of thinking things that scare and freak me out... My grey matter and sub concious are not seperate sometimes..they are parallel. Now THAT is freaky.

AD

I used to get thoughts like that sometimes. Things like "What if I just drove over this cliff?". And then I would say, "That's absurd, why would I do that?" and I would tell myself that I would not do it, and I never did. After a while they stopped. If it is happening all the time or if it is disturbing you a lot, you need to seek help. But if you are not really disturbed but just want to know that other people have the same problem, then maybe you do not need to get help and just knowing that you are not so very strange as you thought might give you what you need to deal with the problem. It does sound like OCD to me, too.