:rolleyes: I have had my results today from my last test, I scored a 3 and then a 2 for ovulation, the first test was a 1 and then a 2, i thought i had ovulated this month (i had my blood test today for cd21) but the nurse said that seeing as my results have been so low then i shouldnt hold out much hope and should just take everything with a pinch of salt - easy for her to say! She also said that i should be pleased that they are sending me to the IVF clinic, dont get me wrong i feel lucky to be going but im not sure i can cope with it :rolleyes:

Im having a bad day and have been crying for most of it so i dont see that i will be much good dealing with the emotions of IVF, dh is being as supportive as he can but he really doesnt understand how much of a failure i feel.

I have STUPIDLY brought a moses basket (because i liked it) and also some clothing for a baby of which i have now put in the loft because looking at it upsets me even more.

This is so hard, why do i feel like a failure, all i want to do is give dh the child he and i so want, why is it so difficult?

Any advice would be appreciated and im sorry to have winged!

Sammie,
although our situations are different, the emotional rollercoaster is the same! I too want nothing more than to have a baby for DH and I (DH went through unsuccessful IUI with his exwife 11 years ago ) these past few weeks have been hell on me. (not to mention all the bruising on my bumm from prog shots) PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don't feel like a "failure" to him or yourself. You are very valuable to him. This is NOT your fault! I cried for you as I read your post. Out of genuine concern and love for women (and men) that are going through all these ups and downs. let me remind you we are in this together!!! I will continue praying for all of us.
Now, as for IVF, we had no choice but go that route. I am in the 5th day of my egg transfer, I have 8 more days to find out if they attatched (pg blood test), so I will keep you posted. I'm trying to stay positive, however I realize the reality of it all . Therefore, If this doesnt' work, remind me of this post :) for encouragement. Oh just one more thing, I have bought a couple things myself, and I'm sure most of us can admit to that. It wasn't stupid(moses bed, etc) just a part of your "hopefuls". You're also in my prayers, hope this helped a little- Rojo6pak(Robin)

Robin, thankyou so so much for your thoughts and words of support, it made me realise that lots of people are going through the same as me.

Im not in a very supportive work place and have decided not to tell anyone what im going through apart from a couple of girls that i am close to and i no deep down that they wont say anything but i did say something to one girl (who i thought i could trust) and i think she may have told someone :(

Work do not allow me to have time off for doctors appointments and i do 8-8 shifts and my second job is from home where i take phone calls for a pet help line (i have to have 2 jobs as my main job is far from well paid) anyway back to what i was trying to say - i think she may have told someone as she said today that people at work are starting to think im a hypocondriact (sp?) because im forever going to appoinments and for blood tests but im sure im right in thinking that it is my business and i dont have to tell people.

I have cried for parts of today and im really emotional at the moment, im assuming that its due to the hormones, i really dont know what to do, i dont want people to know, i dont want people feeling sorry for me and taking pity on me.

I really do hope that all goes well for you and that your eggs have attatched, i will be thinking of you and praying it works out well for you.

I appreciate you response and will support you as much as i can.

Take care and i hope to be hearing positive results from you soon ;)

Sammie,

I'm with Robin in her sentiments. You are not alone....you are NOT a failure! We all go through this. That's why this site has been so helpful for me. I get to talk with others going through the same thing.

I can certainly understand your feelings about not telling anyone at work. You know what!?!? It is really NONE of their business. I too did not tell anyone at work my first round of IVF. They did however think I had some sort of really bad disease (cancer I was told) because I went through 2 surgeries and many times back and forth to the doctor. I felt bad when I came back from my 4 days off after transfer and they bought me flowers! guilt guilt guilt. It wasn't until I had a miscarriage that I told them. Parts of me are sorry I said something, and the other parts say...whatever! You shouldn't feel the least bit bad about not saying anything. Again...none of their business!

As for buying things......I'm making a baby blanket!! Theirs hope for you! ;)

We're here to listen. Take care of yourself. - Stacey :angel: :angel:

Sammie,

In all honesty, infertility stinks! It's hard and it's emotional and it's draining (financially, emotionally, physically, etc.) but most of us on this board have been dealing with it for some time and have all been on the roller coaster. Believe it or not, there are positives to all of it too--an excuse for being moody and craving XXXX (chocolate, salt, etc), a reason to treat yourself to a pedicure, a reason to spoil any new babies around you (even though you have your bouts of jealousy), etc.

I wake up every day hoping and praying that one day I will be a mom and my fabulous hubby can be called daddy. We are fortunate that we have the love and support of our families and I have the support of folks on this site. Feel free to vent here at any time...it does help!

My husband and I have been trying for 5 years. We finally went to a specialist about 2 months ago. Our journey was over before it even began. I was diagnosed with premature-menopause. (poor egg quality and quantity) There is no cure for that!!! There is no drug I can take or procedure that I can do. And I just turned 27. All of you should be thankful that you can continue with treatment. It is completely over for us. The doctor is 100% sure that I will never conceive. It was the worse day of my life!!! Now, my husband and I have to cope with that!!!! So, don’t ever think that any of you have it bad because it could be worse. All of you still have chance!!!!
I don’t!!!!!

Hello again Sammy, Just real quick, I haven't told most of my family, only three of them including Dad and Mom. So, telling those at work or friends is pretty much non existant. I too, don't think it's anyones business. I don't want the sympathy or over concern of others. (especially after todays episode:read my post in todays "SEPT/OCT IVF cycles") That would stress me out even more. So dont' feel bad at not telling anyone. However, a select few is good for the emotions. You need to vent whenever possible. It keeps us healthy. You cant bottle it all inside. QT 314 I also make baby blankets. It's a very soothing and relaxing hobby. Good night ladies and baby dust to all :angel: Rojo (Robin)

Landa17 - i dont think ive got it bad, i just didnt know how to cope with this because i have no one to talk to as i dont wish to get my family involved at this stage hence why i vented a little. I do feel for you really i do and i cant even begin to imagine what you are both going through, i want to wish you all the luck and let you know i am thinking of you and all the others like you.

To everyone else who replied i am very greatful and relieved to have found you, i have someone to talk to who understands what im going through and can answer my questons, thankyou i hope one day i can be of some support to you ;)

just wanted to quick reply to Landa...

It's not over until you say it's over. Aside from adoption (which I don't think is what you were looking for), have you considered surragacy? You use a donor egg, but at least your husband's legacy could be continued. pre-menapausal.....Does that mean your uterus is inoperative/unable to carry to term (i feel like an idiot for not knowing that answer)? If not, donor egg for you to use. Although I must consider myself luckier than you not to have to deal with such a harsh and heartbreaking reality (I simply don't know what I would have done at your age had I been told that!), I do understand 'old/bad quality eggs'. I'm 41 and dealing with that issue. If this IVF doesn't work for me, I must consider donor eggs, or adoption as my only hopes to have a child.

I wish you all the blessings and strength to get through this. :angel: