shonks5
09-28-2005, 08:54 PM
:( Do any of you have problems with your hubbys claiming that they don't hear the baby crying when they are right next to them and supposed to be watching them?? Even my 14 yo brother got irritated with my hubby when he was supposed to be watching her and was ignoring her, so my bro stopped doing his homework and had to attend to her. I was outside with my 16 yo brother burying his hedgehog who died :( . But of course if I ask my hubby he says she was not crying. I know my bro never lies but hubby has..... So any other "deaf" hubbies????
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Kiedy
09-29-2005, 12:29 AM
Oh my god, don't even get me started. I'll be in bed listening to my DS crying while DH is in the bathroom, waiting for DH to do something. After 5 min of no action I'll get up. My DH now 'hearing' me, will come out asking me what I'm doing up.
When he says he didn't hear him I know he is telling the truth, but COME ON are you DEAF!!!!
So now I just tell him when the baby is crying!
When he says he didn't hear him I know he is telling the truth, but COME ON are you DEAF!!!!
So now I just tell him when the baby is crying!
PrittyGreenEyez
09-29-2005, 12:54 AM
I know that all to well. I think alot of us do. Seems like I'm the only one that ever hears our son when he's crying. I'll stay in bed just to see what my fiance is going to do and after a good period of time, I know if I don't do it he won't...by this time our son is screaming his head off. Miraculously once I'm up, he has the nerve to ask "do you want me to get him?" Oh no sweetie, i was just waiting it out because I just enjoy hearing our son scream...it puts me to sleep...*music to my ears* Good grief.
Kiedy
09-29-2005, 01:32 AM
You know, when I was in university, I took a child psychology class. They did a study where they found that a mom will sleep through a loud track driving by, but will wake up to her child tossing nearby. There is something biological about the connection that moms and their children have. This is why I can't have our son sleep in our room, I just can't get any sleep.
dizzygirl
09-29-2005, 11:42 AM
They say that mothers are literally built to run to a crying baby. It's part of our nature. But men, they can say that they don't hear it, but then why can DH hear every word of the football game on the lowest setting volume of the TV?
2fast4u
09-29-2005, 11:51 AM
Oh my!!, where do I start??
Last night, DS started tossing in bed and I could tell he was starting to wake up. I turn to DH and say can you put his pacifier in his mouth maybe he will go back to sleep. He says yes and goes back to sleep himself. This happened twice. So finally I got up to do it. Later he had the nerve to tell me he didn't even remember this exchange. Sometimes I feel like DH takes care of his needs and DS second. For me, there are days that I don't even get to go to the bathroom because DS was cranky all day and I didn't want to put him down to cry. Then DH gets home, I am like please take him I have to pee!! And he will be like just let him cry. I can't do it especially if I know DS hasn't been feeling 100% all day.
Last night, DS started tossing in bed and I could tell he was starting to wake up. I turn to DH and say can you put his pacifier in his mouth maybe he will go back to sleep. He says yes and goes back to sleep himself. This happened twice. So finally I got up to do it. Later he had the nerve to tell me he didn't even remember this exchange. Sometimes I feel like DH takes care of his needs and DS second. For me, there are days that I don't even get to go to the bathroom because DS was cranky all day and I didn't want to put him down to cry. Then DH gets home, I am like please take him I have to pee!! And he will be like just let him cry. I can't do it especially if I know DS hasn't been feeling 100% all day.
shonks5
09-29-2005, 03:23 PM
My hubby does the same thing. He does not wake up at night for anything. I have to shake him silly to wake him. THen like your hubby he will say yeah, and then go back to sleep. I know he does not get a lot of sleep so that is ok but what bothers me is when he is watching tv and the baby is right next to him in her bassinet or on her play mat crying away and he "doesn't hear her." When she was brand new though and he was using vacation time and getting good sleep he would wake at night. But not now. The other thing I hate is how come I can take care of baby 100% alone but no one else can, not even mom. If baby spits up mom is like, can you get something, oh she has a poopy diaper, can you lay a blanket down so I can change her. Hmmmmm I seem to remember her doing all this herself when my brothers were little!! And hubby he is always like honey can you help, the baby spit up, oh no the baby has poop do you want to change her or should I.... Why does he have to ask, I know then that he does not want to change her, can't he just change her??? And sometimes if I am making dinner, she is crying and he is playing a video game or watching a movie or doing some other silly thing and he just gives her a pacy and tries to get her quiet.... I check her and I feel like saying, boy Mr. genius if you would change her diaper!!!! I could never leave her alone with him.
Spanish
09-29-2005, 04:05 PM
My DH certainly isn't deliberately 'deaf'. If he's awake he'll go straight to our daughter if she's crying. But he can sleep through just about any noise she makes at night. It's unbelievable...I wake up at the slightest wimper and he barely stirs if she's screaming her head off. This may be why we disagree on whether she should continue to sleep in our room or not!!!!
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2fast4u
09-29-2005, 06:41 PM
shonks5 - I know what you mean about them being unable to do anything alone. Just before DH dropped DS bottle and it leaked all over. I heard from the other room what happened and he is calling me to help him clean it up. I played deaf and he comes by me carrying DS (who is happily drinking his bottle) and says didn't you hear me say I need help. I was like nope. So he tells me what happened and I said what would you do if you were home all day alone. His response, Well your son was crying so I had to give him a bottle I couldn't stop and clean up. :rolleyes: But my mom on the other hand is really good with all that stuff. She got that way because my dad will not do anything around the house unless bribed. Oh, he will cook himself a steak on the grill and fetch a beer. Washing dishes or changing diapers, is out.
BabyLuv
09-29-2005, 11:11 PM
I can identify with the deaf husband syndrome too. I hardly had any help when they were newborns, I basically did it all by myself with the first one especially. I learned quite a bit from that and it made me more secure with the next three believe it or not, lol. Oh sure they have the fun making the babies, but when the fun is over that is when the crap hits the fan and they are faced with the reality once the babies are born.
I think father's are wired differently, especially when they are faced with a poopy diaper, lol. Its almost like you want to change the baby, then wave it in their face just for kicks. No, that wouldn't be nice, but I am sure it does sound appealing to those of you not getting the help you deserve. Babies aren't toys you can play house with, then put away. It is a full time responsibility that should be taken seriously by both parents no matter what.
You must let them know that you didn't make this baby alone and you do expect help, because its only fair. Be gentle but firm with the dad's, and let them know you mean business.
I think father's are wired differently, especially when they are faced with a poopy diaper, lol. Its almost like you want to change the baby, then wave it in their face just for kicks. No, that wouldn't be nice, but I am sure it does sound appealing to those of you not getting the help you deserve. Babies aren't toys you can play house with, then put away. It is a full time responsibility that should be taken seriously by both parents no matter what.
You must let them know that you didn't make this baby alone and you do expect help, because its only fair. Be gentle but firm with the dad's, and let them know you mean business.
siren1024
09-30-2005, 05:11 PM
My hubby is totally deaf. Here's a trick, girls. One time I got fed up. DD was about 2 months old, and I kept getting up with her. I had already fed her, and she wouldn't go back to sleep. DH is "sleeping like a rock" through this whole thing.
So, I got up, grabbed my pillow, pulled the bassinet over to his side of the bed, and went to sleep on the couch. LOL. Then he was forced to get up and do something about it.
The next day he said "You left!!! I can't believe you actually did that!" LOLOLOL.
So, I got up, grabbed my pillow, pulled the bassinet over to his side of the bed, and went to sleep on the couch. LOL. Then he was forced to get up and do something about it.
The next day he said "You left!!! I can't believe you actually did that!" LOLOLOL.
RebbieO
10-08-2005, 03:34 PM
My DH is great with our 3 week old daughter - but maybe it's just early days! He changes her diapers and dresses her in the mornings while I have a bath, but the other morning he did the 'deaf husband' thing. I got up and looked at her sleeping soundly and thought, great, I may just have enough time to get some breakfast before she wakes. I went downstairs, prepared my breakfast, then heard her crying, but thought it's OK, DH is there, he'll see to her. Anyway, she just continued crying, and I thought what the hell is going on? I went upstairs and he was sound asleep! And she was only on the other side of the bed! I picked her up, gave her a cuddle and then woke daddy up, handed her to him and went back to my breakfast!
Rebbie
Rebbie
Gayle0000
10-09-2005, 11:16 PM
My husband also has deaf ears when she cries...but it's always the night cries...you know...the cries that you REALLY need to be sharing the responsibility for between the hours of midnight and 4am.
I must confess, I do get revenge in my own secret way by putting diaper duty onto my husband when he least expects it. If I can tell by the smell that my daughter needs her pants changed and I don't feel like changing it, I'll tell my husband that she made a mess in her pants that sounded catastrophic and it's probably a 2-person job to change her. He immediately steps up and takes over...letting me know he can handle it by himself. He always comes back and reports what was in the diaper. Funny how the diaper is never as dirty as I thought. One of these days he will catch on, but for now I'd say we're even for him not sharing night duties.
Gayle
I must confess, I do get revenge in my own secret way by putting diaper duty onto my husband when he least expects it. If I can tell by the smell that my daughter needs her pants changed and I don't feel like changing it, I'll tell my husband that she made a mess in her pants that sounded catastrophic and it's probably a 2-person job to change her. He immediately steps up and takes over...letting me know he can handle it by himself. He always comes back and reports what was in the diaper. Funny how the diaper is never as dirty as I thought. One of these days he will catch on, but for now I'd say we're even for him not sharing night duties.
Gayle