My sister R says dad is getting moody again. He doesn't want her to give him his pills. He says he's not a baby and he can take them on his own. So R started putting his pills in a cup on top of the refrigerator (that's where we keep them when he's here at home). Now the pills are disappearing in his bedroom.

R says dad's not eating right. He refuses breakfast unless they go out to eat. He got constipated (he NEVER drinks enough) and was so bad last week that he was throwing up. I sent medicine to him for that but R never gives it to him until it's too late. I've told her time and again that if he's rubbing his stomach, he's constipated. But does she listen? NO!!! And when dad gets really sick, R calls me-like I can take care of it from 700 miles away.

Oh well..................

I finally saw The Notebook last night. The ending kind of surprised me but I thought it was both sad and sweet.

Love, Barb

Dear Barb,

Is your sister going to keep Dad with her now? It seems like he's been there so long he would hate to move again ..

My Mom also has had multiple problems taking her medicines, from forgetting, to denying she needed any, to saying the doctor had called and told her not to take any ..

Just like she now says the doctor told her not to move her sore leg .

Love,

Martha

Hi Barb,

Is your dad taking his pills when he takes them to his room? Or do yall just not know? My mom has to remind my dad to take his pills now. Sometimes she brings them to him. When I refill his M-F pill container, sometimes there is a pill left in there. Oh well! We do the best we can do. Could yall get an over the counter stool softener and tell him the doctor said for him to take it every day? Include with his prescription pills? My dad takes 1 every day, before that it was prunes! :>

Just some thoughts. I know each AD person, has there own special ways and quirks!

As far as drinking water/liquids, I think most older people are that way! My FIL and his wife, hardly drink anything at all, they have to make theirselves. And my Mom and Dad hardly drink anything except hot tea and coffee and not much of that! No matter how many times you tell them, they will drink water for awhile and then not...

Rest while you can - it sounds like your Father may be returning home sometime soon?!

Take care of you. Love, Wannabe

Dad's coming home in about two weeks. I don't know if he'll stay or not. I suspect he will. We're not going to try to force him either way. The decision is totally up to him.

R found some pills in his room so I think sometimes he's taking them, sometimes not. He takes Colace rx'd by the doctor twice a day but that's not always enough. Sometimes he has to take (brain fog-forgot what it's called!) for excess constipation. That's what my sister is forgetting to give him. She also was giving him too much of his bp meds (what an idiot!) so now he's got none till October 7th, when it's due to be refilled. What a ditz!

All my sister has to do is get a glass of water and his pills, hand them to him and tell him "Here's your pills. Remember doc said drink a full glass of water with them." Doc didn't say that but it usually gets him to drink it. And he always takes his pills if you hand them to him. No problem.

Of course I shouldn't say that because after three months, it could be different now. After all, dad always took showers there. No problem. Now he won't. And here I am wondering what I'm in for next.....

Love, Barb

Hi Barb,

Being back home is likely to be a whole new world for your Dad. I think you can count on things being different and they may or may not get back to the "normal" you knew.

The other thing to consider is that there will come a time (if it hasn't already come) when you cannot give a person with AD a choice and let them choose. They cannot handle that or understand all sides of the issue. Your Dad may not be able to say where he'd like to live. He may get home and not think of other places. My mother didn't even notice when she was moved from her ALF apartment to share a room in a locked unit. She was content, perhaps restless, no matter where she was. It didn't cross her mind that she was in a new place and she didn't think to ask what had become of her apartment and her furniture. It seemed to me that her reality was only what she could see.

When the time comes for your father to return, perhaps you should revisit the sticky about the 7 stages so you can remind yourself what he was like when he left and read up on what might be next. You'll be more ready.

Wishing you well, friend! Barbara :wave:

Thanks Barbara! I will check out the sticky again.

Dad knows the difference between the houses but I think he lost sight of how far away they are. He thinks he can just get in the car and go. It's 700 miles! I have a hard time driving that anymore.

I know his hygiene will be a huge problem when he comes back. It was before. It'll just be worse now.

But I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.

Love, Barb

Hi Barb,

Whatever stage your father is in, I am sure that you will be ready for him to come home. It will be a lot of work - like b4! But I think he will be glad to come home. Are they driving or flying or what? Isnt his car up there?

You might have to get a person in to give him baths and help him with his pills and 2 meals a day. I forgot, do you work all day, that will make a difference?!

Take care of you and rest. Wannabe

what's 700miles in kilometres?

I'm planning on running away 929 kilometres away .... *theory* it's supposed to be far enough away NOT to get called to help ...

Hugs
Sally

Hi Barb and Sally,

I know you are just dropping in Sally, from the tomatoe farm?! Hope you are still enjoying your vacation. And I know you will stick with it and move 929 kilometers away!!! :>

Barb, I cannot remember if it was you or Barbara or Martha - but, I tried the thing about saying, that the dr. said to drink a whole glass of water with your pills!!! When I went to my parents today, my dad was still sitting at the breakfast table finishing his breakfast at 10 am and asked my mom to get his pills. I went to get him a glass of water and by the time I came back he had taken them with his milk! But I gave him the whole glass or water and said the Saying, from above. He drank it all in less than 10 min.! Trouble is, I do not live with them, and I do not think it will work on the phone! I wonder if it would help if I taped a note - saying - Drs. orders, to drink a glass of water with morning and evening pills and taped it by where he keeps his pills?! What do yall think? It really does help all older people if they drink a few glasses of water a day, instead of 1/2 glass, all day long!!!

Take care all of you ladies! Love, Wannabe

Wannabe ...

I've heard that 'notes' can send a Dementia patient nuts, because they fixate on the note, and don't realise it's orders. Eg: Drink a glass of water with your pills. Put yourself in the demented mind and think of the variations they can do with that. Sometimes phone calls work ..

and of course, it all depends on the cognition as well! Reading may now also be a challenge ...

But hey .. TRY IT ... it definately WON'T hurt !!

Hugs
Sally

(Who wants to go back to the tomato farm ... LOL)