Hi all,
I've been having some problems with anxiety for the past few years now, and it seems to be getting worse. I don't really know when it started.
I'm scared to speak on the phone for fear I will fumble my words - when I get nervous, I can't speak properly. I've tried writing down what I want to say when I call someone, but still I find it really scary to use the phone. This makes getting a job really difficult, and I really need a second job as I've been having some financial problems.
I'm scared of driving my own car, even though I love my car.. I tremble when I know I have to drive. I have fears of being pulled over, and fears of having an accident - especially if it's my fault. Now, my car sits in the carport, rusting away.
I then think about all the money my fiance & I are in debt (from a business), and it scares me. I am scared of all the people we owe money to, and I am scared of going to work because of that. I'm also having problems dealing with customers due to the fact that when we opened our restaurant, we had a problem with our chef, and we had a lot of irrate customers. Now I just try to avoid dealing with people because I don't like handling complaints - even though we have a new chef who is brilliant.
Sometimes I just take pain killers to get through the day. I take herbal relaxants which don't really work when it gets bad. It seems as though once one problem in my life is fixed, then for some reason, I find another one to worry about. I feel like I've got so many problems floating around in my head, but when I come to think of what they are, I am blank. I sweat, and I have a tightness in my chest, and I also feel like I want to be sick. I often think of myself lying dead, because I want to not feel anything. I think what makes it worse is that my fiance ignores the problems instead of facing them.. and when you ignore the problems, they just get worse.
I am only 21 years old, and my blood pressure is currently 126/73 - I know that is very good.. so I am confused.
Please help me.. what should I do??

EDIT: I want to add that I don't have any caffiene in my diet - I don't drink soft drinks or coffee, and I rarely drink alcohol. Food helps me feel better and lately I've been eating a lot, hence I am putting on weight very quickly.

Anxiety is spiraling because your under tremendous stress (one job, looking for another, bills that are owed to you, bills you owe) overly stressed will make one fumble their words, I do that alot, mix up words, be mid-sentence and totally forget was I was going to say,etc. All when stress is adding up. Instead of trying to figure it all out at once, try one specific task at a time, I think concentrating on what is owed to you first is the least stressful, you also need rest. Rest, Rest. Good sleep makes a refreshed mind, clearer speaking,etc. Then tackle the worries of a second job later.

I want you to know that you are not alone,,, I know how you feel,,,, the situtions are different, but the anxiety is the same, Some how we just have to chill out,,,, I know that is easier said then done.....I know this sounds stupid, but sometimes when I feel overwhelmed with problems that I imagine a little man with a broom in my head sweeping away the problems,,,, I know it dont take away the problem but it helps me to sometimes get a better night of sleep.
I know you have heard this I am sure over and over, but we are not going to make our problems go away by thinking about them,,, in fact we make them alot bigger then what they really are.
I know at this time, I have no room to talk because I am dealing with alot of stuff that is to big for me to handle, but I know it dont help by dwelling on it..
Good luck I hope things turns around for you,,, you are young and I dont want you to do what I have done a waste you life like I have,,, I have been dealing with this for over eight years,,,, I am 33 now, and I have not really lived a fun feild life like i shoudl have,,, my kids dont have a mom like they deserve...
I will say a prayer for you, I know what you are going through and I hope you can over come it before two much time has been wasted..
Good luck
louane