a girl i'm close to goes without food for long periods of time in an effort to lose weight. at first i thought this was a fad diet or whatever, and pretty quickly she appeared to be eating again (well she hid the fact she wasn't eating well), but recently she had a huge, almost violent, outburst when i asked if she'd eaten lunch, because i was on my way to the shop and was going to offer to buy some for her. an offer i made to everyone else that was there. i didn't realise that she was still starving herself

her brother has recovered from bulemia...

now i'm worried about her. i don't think she'll discuss this with me, so i'm at a moral standpoint. do i mention it to her family (and very likely not ever see her again... which is fine if it'll help her to help herself, or at least minimise her having serious health risks). or should i sit on it in confidence... i am at a loss. i honestly want to know which would be best for her. if losing contact with her is the price i pay for that, i don't mind.

so please give me some advice on how to handle this situation.

adam

Hey!

Firstly, u seem like a gr8 mate so losing contact with her probably aint the best solution. I really really really wudnt speak to her parents. It might just make her more secretive. Try to gently get her to open up to u. If talking bout it is not an option, then just write her a little note or sth and keep it general saying that ur there if she has anything to talk about but that u wont pressure her or betray her confidence. Just express ur concern and then she will come to u eventually when shes ready. The most important thing is that u are just there for her, rather than seeming like the big bad enemy whos trying to catch her out. I realise this is not ur intention at all but we have funny realationships with our eating disorders. Its kinda a love hate thing. U hate it but cant let go! So make it clear ur on her side and not just against ED if that makes sense!

Hope this helps a little...
Keep posting

Suzanne
xxx

thanks for that. i'll try to take that tact.

I agree that talking to her parents shouldnt really be an option, becasue then they are going to get worrid and she is going to get annoyed... i know when my parents mention my ED I freak out, and just get even more embedded in it!
Like was said before.... you need to be therefore her, she is probably in a stage where she is denying any type of ED or starvation, but she'll come around and realise there is something wrong, and you need to be therefore her, i love having someone who is there for me and who I can chat to... like most people.
be a supportive friend, who she knows wont judge her, or laugh, but just understand.... and she will soon learn that she can trust you!

X HannieX