How long does it take you to settle your little one to sleep at night?

My DD is two months old and settles to sleep really well anytime except in the evening. After her bath and a cuddle it can take up to an hour of crying and wimpering and being carried around before she will finally go to sleep in her basket. Does it take others this long to settle their babies? If not,does anyone have any tips for how to get her to settle more quickly?

Spanish

My DS can be fussy too, but I stick to my routine. At 10pm I put him in his room, turn the lights off and sometimes I need to go back in many times too. It takes anywhere from 30min to 1hr for him to fall asleep, but occasionally I will be rewarded by having him fall asleep immediatly. I've read that it's good to have the babies fall asleep on their own, so I put him down when he is still awake and not while I'm feeding or carring him.

But all I can say is what you already know, IT WILL GET BETTER.

Hola Spanish,

I was having a really hard time getting my guy to go to bed at night. He is 3 months old. I talked to his doctor and she said that he is old enough for him to start to cryi it out and we have been donig that for a week. I am lucky because at night, he hasn't cried for more that 15 minutes. It has really changed our evenings around here. Instead of my spending an hour walking, rocking, singing, and pleading he goes to sleep pretty quickly after I nurse him and hold him for a few minutes. It is hard to listen to him cry but he does go to sleep pretty quickly. It is nice to spend that time with my husband now.

During the day, it is a different story. I have a hard time getting him to nap in his crib. I have let him cry a couple of times but it goes on forever and I don't know how worthwhile it is to have him cry for 45 minutes to get an hour long nap.

Anyway, if you have time, check out the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Marc Weissbluth. It has some really good hints.

Hang in there.

-Jen

Thanks for your replies. Is two months old too young to let her cry it out? DH said last night "if she's crying in her bouncy chair and crying when she's being carried around why don't we just put her in the cot and let her cry there?" I was tempted to agree but I find it sooo hard to hear her wailing...it's just so pathetic sounding and I feel like such an awful mum to leave her crying! My own mum keeps telling me that letting her cry doesn't harm her and that if she's tired and overstimulated then if I keep picking her up and carrying her around it will just make it worse.

Having said she settles fine at other times the last couple of days I've struggled to get her to go to sleep during the day. She starts grizzling and yawning so I know she's tired but if I put her in the cot she just howls. So I pick her up and put her in the papoose on my front and she'll drop off almost straight away. But the moment I try to take her out of the papoose and put her in the cot she wakes up and cries again! Today I spend a while trying to sooth her without picking her up and it did no good so I walked away and let her cry for about 6 - 7 minutes and then went back and tried to soothe her again but she just kept crying. So I picked her up and put her back in the papoose and waked around for a while but she just wouldn't settle back to sleep. I changed her nappy and fed her and she was awake and happy for about half an hour after that. I put her in her bouncy chair and she started grizzling so I just kept bouncing her gently and she's finally dropped off now. But that's 2 1/2 hours since Itook her out of the papoose and put her down in the cot!!!!

I just feel like such a hopeless mum. I think I should be able to understand what she wants and be able to settle her down but I just can't. I don't want her to only sleep in the papoose during the day because it's so limiting for me and I don't think it's a good habit to get into because she should be sleeping lying down. I'm not overly happy about her sleeping in the chair but it's better than nothing I guess.

Also am I being unrealistic to expect her to start getting into a routine by now? Every day seems different. Some days she'll be awake and happy and play a lot, others she sleeps almost all day and other days (like today) she just grizzles most of the day and i can't seem to do anything to please her. Also her feeding and sleeping times are so varied that it's impossible to plan anything.

Ah sorry about that, I'm feeling a bit low today and I just needed to vent. Any reassuring words would be very much appreciated!!

Spanish

Hang in there girl.

If it makes you feel better, ask your doc. if she is old enough to let her cry. You may want to just try 5 minutes or so. It does feel horrible while they are wailing but my experience is that Liam is much happier when he sleeps more, even if he had to cry to get there. He is eating as I write this (one handed no less!) and is dropping off to sleep, just in time for a mid-morning nap. While I know he is better off sleeping in his crib or even his carseat, I aginuze over moving him because it means he is likely to cry. So, I know how it feels and it is not easy.

Babies are difficult to figure out. Just when you think you have their routines figured out, they go and change them. If your daughter's doc. is sympathetic, he/she will listen and give you some suggestions.

Hang in there and keep venting.

-Jen

Hi Spanish
I know our kids are very close in age. Just wanted to let you know that my DS does not have any sort of schedule/routine yet either. He gets up at a different time each day, naps at different times; sometimes naps a lot, sometimes not at all, etc, etc...It is quite normal. I find it hard for taking him anywhere because I never know if he'll be hungry, fussy, sleeping etc.

Jen, had to laugh about the one handed typing as that is exactly what I am doing too! Often the only time I get on the computer is when he is eating!

Ciao

Two months old is way too young to cry it out. Most docs don't encourage it anymore, because they lose trust for you, but if you insist, wait until 6 months or more. There are so many other ways to get them into healthy sleep habits. Don't doubt yourself, Spanish, you're doing a great job! :)

Hi Dizzygirl. Any hints on what those other ways might be?!

I just had another chat to my mum and she reckons DD is not too young to start getting her into a routine and that a more regular routine would probably help. She may be right because normally she's awake and having a feed at around 7.30am but this morning she slept through to 9am and that seems to have thrown the whole day out. Tomorrow if she's still asleep I'll wake her up at the normal time to feed her and hopefully we'll start to establish a pattern of when she should sleep. We're also trying to get more of a routine at the other end of the day. I tend to feed 6.30 - 7pm and then bath her and get her ready for bed. Hopefully she'll then be asleep by 8.30 (after an hour of grizzling of course!). However, I've then been waking her up again at around 10.30 to give her a feed because I want her to sleep longer through the night. By doing this she normally then sleeps until around 4 - 5am sometimes even later. Do you think I'm wrong to wake her to feed at 10.30? Should I just let her sleep through?

Spanish

Oh Spanish, I know what you're going through. As I said earlier I stick to my night routine, but nothing yet during the day. My DS was getting good for last 2wks (he is 2.5mo), sleeping from 10pm to 3 or 4am, which was sooo nice, but all of a sudden this week he started waking up at 1am and then 2 or 3am and so on. I don't know what's going on. I started puting him to sleep in his crib b/c for last 2 mo he slept only in his car seat, which I thought was not the best b/c his head is always in the same position, so maybe that's the reason. I'm soo tired.
I do wake him up if he misses his feeding for too long b/c I breast feed and if I don't, my breasts hurt and I end up getting blocked ducts.

I think it's important to establish some sort of a routine at this stage, but I think they are too young at this time to always follow it. They have their good and bad days, they grow at which stage they eat more. If I formula fed I think I would let my son skip an occassional feed, but like I said b/c I breast feed I can't. I wouldn't skip it at night though, b/c your DD may wake up earlier hungary.

I have a hard time letting my DS just cry. I think what matters more is how we respond to thier cries. My son likes to fall asleep w/ a pacifier, when it falls out, I wait until he cries (other times he just makes noises and falls back to sleep) and go in and put it back in. Once he is older I will help him find it and put in himself, but obviously he doesn't have the hand coordination to do it now. Of course I might change my mind later.
I will go and get that book on good sleeping tips, maybe I'll learn something better. Tell me if you find something useful too.

My DH has just taken DD out for a drive in the car. She has been crying almost non-stop since about 6.30pm (it's now nearly 9pm). Nothing seems to make her happy. I fed her at 6pm and then handed her to DH to burp so that I could eat my dinner (he had his whilst I fed!). She started crying almost straight away, paused briefly whilst in the bath but started again when we got her out. I fed her again at 7.45 and she fell asleep on the breast so I put her down and she slept for about half an hour and was then up and crying again. DH has taken her for a drive to give me a break and hopefully get her to sleep.

I just don't know what to do. How can I get in a bedtime routine when she just cries all evening. She tends to be awake for a longer period in the late afternoon and is then ready for a feed. But after that feed we can't seem to do anything so soothe her. I don't think it's colic because it's not that sort of cry it's more of a low pitched grizzly cry. I'm sure she's tired but she just won't go or stay asleep. Sigh!

Does putting her on your breast agian help??? Just for sanity sake. If all fails this is one sure thing to always calm him down.

Yes feeding does help. I fed her last night at 6pm, 7.45pm and 10pm and she finally went to sleep after that last feed. Perhaps she is actually hungry in the evening and is trying to fill up ready for the night ahead. It's all trial and error isn't it? Perhaps if she's really grizzly tonight I'll try offering her the breast. If she's actually tired rather than hungry, well at least she might suck herself to sleep. LOL!

Spanish

Hey Spanish, I'm sorry, I know exactly what your feeling. I don't think it's bad at all at this age to wake to feed before you go to bed. It's called a dream feed. You can do it for months, before they start to sleep through on their own, just make sure not to wake her when you do it. I rock my son to sleep a lot, or lay down with him. I know a lot of people say it's getting them used to it, but hey, my kid is a rare one that is too stimulated to go off on his own yet, so I don't care. I do agree that a schedule is really important, even if you stray from time to time. I am nursing too, and Iknow it's hard to schedule feeds, but try. This is what we do, and keep in mind DS is 5 months, and started solids, and goes 4 hours between.

Wake up-(after being up all night on and off) 7:00
play with Daddy for 1 hour, then nurse @8:00
8:00, cereal and fruit
8:15, bath
8:45 nap
10:00 play
12:00 nurse
12:30 nap
2:00 play or get out of the house
4:00 nurse
4:30 cat nap
5;00-5:15- play
7:00 cereal and fruit
8:00 pajamas, book and lullaby and nurse
8:30 bed

I don't feed him till aroud 4 again, even if he wakes up, I used to do the dream feed. This has taken some time to get a sched. that works for the both of us. I don't think that any schedule is bad, as long as your consistant. The other thing that I found really helpful to get DS to sleep better, is to pay really close attention to his signs of tiredness. The second he gets fussy of moody, he goes in the crib, and nine times out of ten, I was right, he was tired. There are so many ways to get our little ones off to sleep, it took me a long time to get to know DS, and I think that's why he is such a bad sleeper ( as well as it being his nature) I hope I helped at all, good luck.
Carrie