I made this anonymous account specifically to post this, because I'm kind of embarrased and scared. :confused:

here's the deal. when I was about 7, i developed a weird habit. i disimpacted myself (I fingered my own anus to assist myself in moving my bowels). i don't know where i picked up the habit, or why. i never had a problem going to the bathroom on my own, and 11 years later, i still don't.

at about age 12, i noticed this weird bump inside my anus. over the years, i developed 5 or so more. they are small, all about the size of a large pimple you get on your face or something. they are very very very hard, too, and they feel like they are on the surface only. there is one particular one, the one i noticed at the age of 12. it got bigger, but it's still very tiny. i would say it's about half the size of a pea.

i am 18 now, and here's the embarrasing part. i still disimpact myself. i feel gross and ashamed, because it's not like i do it for sexual pleasure. it's how i go to the bathroom. i tried to go to the bathroom without doing it, and i can. so i don't do it because i have to. i do it because i'm so used to it!

this is what scares me. a few times, i have actually seen blood. i have bleed from my anus more than once. one time, i wiped myself, and i thought "Oh no, I got my period already!" and it wasn't my period; it was anal bleeding. by the way, the bumps themselves don't bleed. the bumps have never actually busted open and bled. it's my actual inside that is bleeding when i go to the bathroom.

i never get pain there. it doesn't itch or burn. it's just those stupid bumps and sometimes bleeding. oh, and i can't see them. they are inside. the other thing, i thought they could be hemhrroids, but they are not big, and they do not hang out of my anus. they are inside, and never anywhere else. i have had them for at least 6 years!

could i have anal cancer?! i'm only 18! the other thing is... i am so scared, because what if they have to remove things? when i was 8, i was told by someone that if i continued and saw bleeding, i would no longer be able to use my anus, and would have a bag on the side of me where my feces go. i can't explain it, but would that ever happen!?

does this sound like cancer after 8 years? or maybe something else?

i will go to a doctor when i feel ready. right now, i am way too scared. i've been scared for 6 years (since i found the lump), and i don't know when i will be ready. i'm scared of finding out i will die...

First of all, it's very unlikely that you have cancer, considering your age and the symptoms. If the bumps have indeed been there for years and were cancerous, you would have had other problems by now. They sound very much like hemorrhoids to me, and you've probably irritated them with your habit, causing them to bleed. I advise you to leave that area alone and let things happen naturally. That way, you can heal from any damage you've done. The proper diet and regular trips to the bathroom should get you back to normal, and likely the bumps will shrink and the bleeding will stop. But if you're really nervous, you should have your doctor check you out. It will provide peace of mind. Don't be embarrassed - they see stuff like this every day.

Good luck.

i looked up hemhrroids, but it doesn't seem like it though because these things are round and very hard and tiny, and not painful. i don't know the difference between the rectum and the anus, but maybe they are in the rectum. as for the bleeding, i honestly can't tell if it's the lining of my anus/rectum that's bleeding, or if it's coming from way far up inside.

thank you. i'm still scared and worried not knowing what it is, but my main concern was that it's not cancer. it worried me to death but i feel a little better now. :D

I honestly think things will get better if you leave that area alone for a while. My guess is you're causing the irritation yourself. I don't mean to sound harsh, but if you can't stop the habit on your own, I'd recommend you consult a counselor to help you deal with what seems to be an obssessive/compulsive disorder you've developed. I wish you the best of luck.

Are you feeling any better? There's one other possible explanation - small rectal ulcers. I read a bit about that somewhere else and your symptoms sound similar.