armed with 6 books from the library title all relating to bulimia/ana recovery - i begin a new phase of my recovery - putting healthy food in my mouth daily uggh it's hard and changing my destructive ana/mia voice

It's time for me to get serious about positive change. It's time for me to kick mia to curb...god how do you say "good-bye" for ever??? me either.

But as I begin this i will post my findings to all, and share what i find to be the most useful of all the info/books i sourced. We need to form a posie, we need to do this together - fight to win -

I need to get serious with beating my bulimia, I haven't been trying very hard lately...ok, you guys make me tell it like it is, i have being slack. I have purposely 'forgotten' meals, I have tried to purge but couldn't...and i had thoughts of laxiattives but that's when my books arrived ....so i have someone watching out over me sending me messages that i have to get better, i have to eat normally even it takes 6 months to finally be able to do it ~ i will~

love,
Shining_Star

Shiningstar
I think it's great that you've made such a positive decision! That you were thinking about laxatives and then the books came is definitely a sign. Letting go is REALLY scary. I know that I've been working on that for a while now. And little by little you take a step forward. Sometimes having the books to look at is a really good positive reinforcement. I bought "the body myth" which I've only gotten through the first few pages but I'm looking forward to sitting down with it and really reading it. I think it might really help.
Learning to eat normally is definitely a process but I have complete faith that you'll be able to reach that goal. Knowing that it will take time is important so that you don't lose faith. I believe in you and look forward to your useful info that you'll share. :)

Take care
Lauren

thankyou so much Lauren, for your faith in me and encouragement. I do have to be strong it's really hard. I will pass on everything that i find useful, that is important to me through this that if i can help other's makes my struggle worthwhile.

i have faith in you, i have faith in this message-boards the ppl here are real one thing that we all go through is the relentless struggle...hopefully i can shead some light for all of us.
love,
LJ

Shining Star,

I havent posted in a while, b/c ive had to distance myself for a bit in order to recover, but to return to find such a positive post made me so happy. Im so happy to see that you are so positive and optimistic about your recovery and have armed yourself with some of the tools necessary in order to be successfull. Books are a great source of information, aswell as these boards. Im glad you have found comfort and support here, i know i did when i was giong through a really difficult time.

The point of this post is to say im happy for you. Recovery is a long hard road, and it comes with lots of ups and downs, but it is 100% worth it to live a free life. Living free of your ED is the greatest feelin in the world. I wont lie, somedays i still wake up and have a hrad time accepting myself, but i remember how much happier i am, regardless of my weight.

Your struggle will help others, it helped me so much to read about people who were trying to do the same thign i was, and knowing that when i messed up, it wasnt just me who did. So good luck on your journey, and keep on posting!

Anne

Hey guys, I posted a couple of times on this board 4 or 5 months ago when I was really struggling with bulimia and didn't know what to do. Everything started for me during my sophomore year in college and like a year and a half later, I finally reached the point of choosing what the rest of my life was going to be like: either I reach out and get help now or I'm going to slowly kill myself. I felt like I owed it to myself to reach out because at that point, I hadn't told anyone in my life that I had an eating disorder. I went to the counseling center at my school, which was so incredibly hard at first but turned out to be a wonderful experience. I met 4 other girls struggling with bulimia and I learned so so much from each one of them. After 2 months of counseling, I went home for the summer and finally found the courage to tell my mom what the past year and a half of my life had really been like and that I had been going to counseling. I don't know why I put off talking to her for so long, because my mom was exactly who I needed to support and encourage me, and she didn't let me down. It took me most of the summer to reach the point where I ate 3 regular, healthy meals a day. I took it slowly at first and ate what I could. It doesn't seem quite so overwhelming that way. I started giving myself a break when it came to exercising (3 or 4 days a week instead of 7 days a week) and that freed up so much time to do other things I wanted to do. I feel free to live my life now because I'm not a slave to some voice in my head telling me that I have to be stick thin to have any value or worth. I'm able to let people in to my life now instead of protecting this secret shame. I just want to encourage anyone who might be struggling with an eating disorder, disordered eating, or negative body image. I feel like a person again, which is something I've learned not to take for granted.