Ive always been a bit of an energetic kid, mostly happy go lucky. But in my teen years I began going through periods of depressions which I first attributed to just a normal part of being a teenager. Then the depressions became more pronounced but seemed mostly in winter so I thought I had SAD. (I assumed this because my brother is self diagnosed as having Seasonal Affective Disorder) However, as I became depressed more frequrently, and resorted to self harming and suicidal thoughts I began to think it was perhaps Clinical Depression. Now, looking over the past few months (trying to figure out how I ended up so behind in school) I realized that i seem to go in a bit of a pattern first I get depressed, then get sick (i tend to get sick when I am depressed enough long enough), I realize I need to get healthy so I take care of myself physically (take a day off from school when necessary) and heal then when I start to scare myself because I feel like my suicide is eminant i vent some of my feelings to my friends and gradually become less depresssed. However, I then seem to go from having been so tired when I was depressed to being hyper, scattered thinking, talkative, etc. I don't think that is true manic behavior but when I realized this trend I got curious. (then again, sometimes I think i'm a bit of a hypocondriac)
Does it seem like this could be BP or is it just depression and a hyper personality? I would appreciate any imput you have.

You should read the post on top of this site with symptoms of bp, but if this is a cycle for you and began when you were a teen it could be bp. My twin is bp, and she started as being depressed just like you. Four years later she ran away and began to abuse drugs and alcohol and then became psychotic and suicidal. She ran away to my father's house and he had to hospitalize her. She never did get a handle on medicating, and is now, 15 years later, an addict as well (partly due to my father's negative influence on her acceptance of this disease). It sounds like you are still young, so you should talk to your doc and get a handle on this while you are young, but definitely seek a doc's help (friend's will only listen so long before they will avoid your complaints, I have seen this happen with my sis and it broke both our hearts). Get a positive experience with this and realize, like you see here, that you are one of a kind:)!

Thanks alot for your reply. Ill read the symptoms. Also, I think its a cool coincidence (sp?) that you have a twin sister because I have a twin too. (Although my twin is a guy, but Im a girl). And your right Im still pretty young- 16 going on 17.

I guess part of what I ment to ask but forgot to ask (that wasn't mentioned in the symptom list) is wether depressive (or manic/hypomanic) episodes are purely biochemical or if they are situationally affected too? Also, is there usually a pretty even mix of manic and depressive episodes/tenencies or can one be depressed more often or more severly than manic?

If you read the post on top you will see that there are dif types of bp, and yes they do have clear swings to more manic or more depressed. Now as far as your question about biochemical or situationally affected disorders there is a distinct difference. I do have a strong belief that situational disorders can lead to biochemical disorder (having trauma leads to post traumatic stress and anxiety and also depression-my mother has these issues). If you are looking at the SAD my sis also suffers from that self diagnosed and I do as well (we grew up in AZ and moved to OH as teens). You really should see your doc about this, speak to your school counselor if you do not want to worry your parents for now, but seek some professional help that will officially diagnose you. It will help your moral knowing where your behavior comes from not to mention you will get to know how to deal with this at a good age if you are bp. Throughout this post you will meet many amazing people coping with bp and other disorders along with it, and they can all help you in coping yourself. As far as being a twin, I have met many twins that have this same issue where one is bp and the other is not. I am fraternal twin myself, but my sis and I have always shared an incredible connection ( I always know when she is manic or feel her moods and know when she is in trouble, and the older I get the more I feel it and it can drive me nuts too). I can say that they did not get the saying "good twin, evil twin" from nothing:)!!! Welcome to the site!

Thanks again for the info, its very interesting but im afraid once again I didn't phrase my questions too well (mabey thats cause Im kinda hyper and thinking of too many things at once) By the more or less manic I ment- is it atypical to have a one type of episode longer/ more frequently than the other? As far as the situational what i really ment was can say- stress trigger depressive episodes or, idk- doing something that really interests you trigger manic episodes?

I think it is the things that cause us worry, or fear, or stress not the things that interest us that are likely triggers.

As far as manic or depressive episodes there is no set time for them to last nor do they
each last the same lenght of time. I think for many people the manic phase last a shorter time than the depressive.

For me, upheavals in my personal relationships cause me to cycle

If you have mild fluctuations in mood that aren't serious enough to be called either depression or (hypo)mania, it might be cyclothymia, a very mild form of bipolar disorder. I might have it, so I know some stuff about it. You might want to check out the cyclothymia/BP II post on here to clarify your questions on whether or not you have bipolar disorder. If you have any questions, feel free to ask! :angel:
-GatsbyLuvr1920-

Hi everyone! Thanks for the imput. After reading the cyclothymia/BP II post I think Bipolar II best describes me. I have almost certainly had major depression. I have made no suicide attempts do but self harm and have made suicide plans that I just never actually carried out because I was afraid that someone would catch me and stop me actually doing it. (I intend never to have any "attmpts"- either I will do it and succeed or I won't do it)
However, my upswings aren't really what I would picture as truely manic. It seems almost ADHD like. Im hyper/ racing random thoughts/ sometimes happy sometimes angry, often aggitated. The strange thing is that while I seem to have distinct periods of depression my hyperphases are also punctuated by brief periods of a depressed mode.
I actually never considered the possibility of BP until I looked back over the posts I have made here in the past few months and realized that it was a bit odd to go from posting about how lethargic and depressed I am on the depression board to posting on the ADD board about how hyper and unable to focus on things I am.

itsjustme- If you've had major depression, it certainly sounds that your "hyperness" as you call it could very well be hypomania. I like how you described that you felt like you had ADHD- this is interesting since many young children who are actually manifesting manic symptoms are declared "ADHD". I'm glad that you've found a possible explanation for what you've been dealing with, and if you have any more questions, I'm here! :angel:
-GatsbyLuvr1920-

lol! today I was so hyper I was practically giddy during AP Biology and my teacher was like "omg your soo hyper your like psychotically hyper. Are you on something?" I wasn't sure wether he was asking if I was supposed to take ADHD meds or if he he was asking if I was on uppers so I just said "no". Then he started talking about his ADD and how he has to take his meds etc. I just thought it was really funny, although most things seemed funny at the time. My friend came to school still inebriated and I was hyper so we had a fun class. We giggled so much lol :)