I'm About To Crash And Burn . I Don't Want To Be Around Anyone .don't Want To Talk On The Phone Hard To Get Out Of Bed
I'm 29 And Have 3 Kids And Am In This Deep Depresstion That I Don't Think I'm Going To Make It Out Of .my Familay Won't Listen To Me When I Say I Need Help And Should Go To The Doctor They Want To Belive What They Want To That I'm Just Fine Because I'm Suppost To Be The Rock In This Family And This Rock Is Rolling Down The Hill And I Can't Stop It.i'm Pushing Everyone Away Even My Children And That's Not Me At All.i Don't Even Know Me Right Know Or What I'm Capabale Of I'm Thinking About Things I've Never Thought About Befor .i Feel My Life Is Burning In Flames It Feels Like My Boyfriend Is Cheating On Me But He Sayes He's Not But What Is He Supost To Say . I Wouldn't Want To Be With Me Either Plus My Seuiure Condtion Is Getting Worse There Is To Much In My Heasd Right Know All Hate And Anger Just About To Bust .i Am Puyshing Everyone Away Icluding My Family .i Have No Friends To Moody Please Help Befor I Brake.

Hey there, Mud here. Yes you do have friends. I consider myself one. Well, at least an online one. Get the hubby to some sort of education program. There are some out there for the family members of someone who has BP.
remember, there are coping skills that you can do to help yourself. The meds just keep my wife from going toooo deeeep into the deperssion.

:angel: Hi DragonPrincess I am your friend too... :angel:
I can relate to how your feeling right now, I've been there myself not too long ago. My horrible, dark, scary depression lasted for 18 long months. There are pieces I can't remember, but, there is so much I remember. It's a frightening and awful flip side of mania...every coin has two sides, every sword two edges, like day is to night.

My heart goes out to you, I really can feel your dispair and anguish over your depression symptoms. Be kind to yourself, please don't be too hard on yourself right now. Whats your favourite thing? Is it roses and sweet smellling flowers, sunshine and seas of azure blue?? Is it laughing, children with smiles?? Whatever it maybe find photo's or get copies of them and place them where you will be reminded of them all the time...Anything to remind you that these things you enjoyed when you weren't depressed. Same with activities you enjoyed doing when you weren't depressed it's important to try and include some of these during each day. Remind yourself that you loved these things before, don't expect to have the energy, the important part of this is the reminder of the non-depressed self. {It does work....I didn't say easy but is worth the effort}

Keep communication open with your husband...share your thoughts, ask for his hand or cuddle to make you feel supported. When my b/f did this for me it made me feel anchored in my stormy sea. I could do anything after a cuddle, they came a part of getting up, and doing things i could so long as I had a cuddle first and after.

Anger is one letter short of Danger. Hate is the nearest thing to love. These are valid emotions and expressions of turmoil within you. Write out your most hateful and angriest thoughts...if there is water nearby walk there and tear up your pieces of paper and let them float into the water...the paper is biodegradable, but it's sending them out to the universe and thereby cleansing for your mind, body and soul.
~I hope that some of these are helpful for you~ Take care of yourself andkeep in touch so you can get support here - we care about you and hope sunny days are coming your way very soon...rainbows and the silver lining....
shining_star

THANX FOR THE REPLY Mudhound you did help me through my last real low well I was pregnant. So yes I do concisder you a online friend. My health is getting to me the bp and the seiuzure condtion i'm getting like atleast 5or more a day A to top it all off my ex husben tells me he has cancer of the brain and want's me back with him in his last days so what am i suppost to do oh ya and he is having a baby with this woman he has been with for the past year. oh ya and i'm still not divorced yet .It is very complacated I know I'ts getting so hard for me plus i'm in a relationship with my babys father that is the youngest my other two sons is from my first husben . as if it wasn't enough my current boyfriend was my ex's best friend yes i know it sounds bad . know my heath is taking a dive for the worstnew meds arn't helping seem to my matters worse.Mud i've read all your post and hold you in the highest of respect you such a good man I don't know what to do love them both I was with my husben for 15 years good and so much bad...don't know what to do?deprestion is getting bad .thanxs for listening mud and for the reply.

shining star thanx for your reply and suggetions on how to make it better .When I can walk agine on my own I will try them they are very good sugestions .I could see how it would be very hard to make your self do what you like to do when your in this state of mind . but I could also see were it would be good to thanx for being the as a friend I don't have many so thank you :wave: