Just wanted to write a quick note saying how very hurt i am about not getting one relpy about my post i wrote here because i thought this was a place of compassion and at the very least a few would reply back and at least let me know someone cares guess i was wrong,sorry i trouble you all.and i won't trouble you anymore.

big mama

Hi Big Mama
It's difficult to respond and even to relate to all the posters. And if you've been on this board long enough you will realize that although people ask, beg and plead for help ... often after responding the person will not bother to acknowledge the post....so I believe most of us soon learn to carefully pick who we will answer....believe me it's nothing personal :) .

I did read your previous post and found it quite sad...what do you want to do? leave?achieve independence?find help for the hubby?can your son help? :)

hi davinci thanks for taking the time to reply,i guess i just felt like noone care and i was feeling so lonely.as to your question i am not sure what i want to do .i do know that i just want him to stop gambling and start caring about his family,and the way i feel right now i just want to be normal and i have thought about leaving him but i could never make it on my own with what i get from disabilty,i would not ask my son as he is going through his own thing ,he is living with a friend and his supporting his son so it is hard on him now and i don't want to burden him, he does not know half of what is going on,people tell me i should tell him what is going on and i jst can't bring myself to do that.i just feel like such a loser and at almost 50 i have nothing ,and the stress is really getting to me,besides all this i am trying to care for my parents who are elderly and it is so hard ,they have been good to me and i feel like it the least i can do they are my parent and they need me .don't get me wrong i am not complaing about doing it it is just hard someday with everything going on and not feeling well,i just need to find a way to cope with this stress before it really does me in,any ideas, again i thank you for your kindness and just knowing that a least one person cares means a great deal,take care and any ideas would be greatly apperiated.

big mama

Hi Bigmama,

Im sorry you got no replies,, sometimes the weekends are slow here.

A few years ago my husband was really into gambling. We almost lost everything we had worked for. What I was making wasnt even enough to make up for what he spent. I had never been so stressed in my life, it was horrible.

I think your son proberly already knows whats happening. I didnt want to upset my kids, but they knew. My husband wouldn't listen to me or would promise to quit but never did. The addiction was so strong he did get verbaly abusive also. Somehow it was all my fault.. What finally got though to him was his children talking tough to him.. he didnt want to lose his kids. Maybe if your son would talk to him that would help.

Now we are doing good, our marriage is better than ever. I was all set to divorce him, just couldnt live like that any longer.

I pray this works out for you.. I know how hard it is..

..........

First i want to say i am sorry for sounding like a spoil brat about not getting no reply.I know you all have your own problems to deal with and its hard to reply to everyone,I guess i was just feeling like noone cared,and lonely.

Spongebobgamma,Firt let me say i just love the name and it put a smile on my face,thats my grandson's favorite show,so thanks for putting a smile on my face.and thanks for sharing your story.It really sounded so much like what i am in.and you are right about my son.I think he know some of what is going on,Because my husband has ask him for money,and while i think i am protecting him.I know deep in my heart i should tell him everything that is going on.

My brother-in-law did have a talk with my husband and i am hoping that it does some good.If you don't mine me asking did your husband just stop ar did he have to go for help,I truely believe my husband need to get help as i really don't know if he can stop on his own.I can only hope he cares enough to make that choice and he will relaize just what he is doing to his family.Again i thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking the time to answer and sharing your story,I wish you all the best and keep watching spongebob lol.

Texasfreewheel,thanks for repling and you are right i guess the way i wrote it did seem like i was just venting.I guess i am just so darn out of it that i didn't see it that way.Thank you for your time and please know it truely means a lot and i know there are people out there that do care,Take care

THANKS
BIG MAMA :)

Hi Bigmama,

I hope things are going better for you now. My husband didn't go for any help, I wanted him too but he refused to do that. Actually one of his biggest problems was alcohol. He would start drinking and just lose his head. So he had to give up the drinking before he got the gambling under control. My husband was at the point that he was going to lose everything and I know even with his problems he does love us.

I glad you liked my name. I now have 4 grandbabies and they all love spongebob, I dont like watching cartoons but even I like spongebob.

I was thinking about you and hope everything is ok...

Hey spongebob just wanted to drop you a quick note to let you know i am hanging in there.I know its been a while since i posted,but things are a bit rough,and i am trying to do the best i can,

I just went in for neck surgery on the 17 of nov.and thing are real painful so just taking it one day at a time, i sure hope all is well with you and wanted to drop you a note as you were so kind to me'and i truely apperiated you telling me your story.I have posted on other threads,but sadly never get any replys.I wish i knew what i was doing wrong.It just makes me so sad when no one answers any how thanks again for caring ,and sorry i didnt write sooner,and in case i don't hear from you before i wish you and your family a very happy and merry christmus.and keep watchinh those spongebob cartoons lol


best wishes

big mama

I just replied to the other post you wrote, wondering why no one was responding. I did not know what your situation was...then I found this earlier post from you. So, forgive me for writing twice. But now that I know what surgery you had, I can really understand you pain and what you are going through. I had a fusion too, but in the lumbar area. Unfortunatly, my fusion failed. I hope yours is healing properly. Try not to over do it, so you can enjoy your christmas celebration. You are in my prayers,

Lorie :angel:

Thanks lorie ,sometimes i have a hard time explaining just whats going on nad maybe thta why i dont get many replys,i am on a different pain med so its a little better.i am truely sorry your fusion didnt work out,i also had a device put in my heart in june it was a amplatzer occluder it was to close a small hole in my heart. so i guess having the two done has really gottten to me with the pain and all. again thnaks for understanding and i hope you have many painfree days and a very merry christmus

take care

big mama

Hi Big Mama,

I hope your feeling better, 2 surgeries close together must be rough, please take it easy and let yourself heal.

Your not doing anything wrong with how your posting, it just happens to all of us. I've had plenty of posts that seem to get lost in cyberspace.. I think sometimes people just don't know what to say or the ones that do have something to contribute are not on at that time.. please don't take it personal. Have you posted on the back boards? You will get some good help there.

I pray you enjoy the christmas holidays. I try not to get caught up in all the frenzy and just enjoy what christmas is really all about.

Thinking of you,, spongebob