does anyone know how to erase or delete this thread? It's not necessary at all. I'm not even depression, i just clicked some reandom topic or watever and wrote this? So, does anyone know how? If you do, pls reply. ASAP

I don't make pretenses for myself. I'm not really dealing with things well. The only thing I get is to grit your teeth and get through it. I have no reason for being though, and when I DO do what I want to do, which is basically nothing, I feel worse. The despair circles in my head, just like life is running around in circles. Even when you're doing something 'good', it's all just a part of life; it'll harm someone no matter your intent. If everything were good all the time, we wouldn't ever be happy. Perfection is striving for perfection, not 'perfection' itself, and I can't get over that. It's not the goal in our lives, no matter what people say, but the work in trying to get there that matters. And this makes me want to not work towards any goal, but we need to word towards something, and we need to trick ourselves into thinking that it matters.

This is something I constantly struggle with...I just don't get the point of life (of anything). But if you forget about your life (cause if you're anything like me you'll believe your life is even less important then anyone elses) and try to focus on the small things you already do that make a difference in someone else's life. They don't have to be big things, but even holding a door open for someone may have changed their life and started a chain reaction that had a huge impact. Sounds cheesy I know but I know I've had that moment where a stranger has made me laugh and pulled me out of suicidal thoughts that I couldn't get out of on my own. Maybe it made a difference, maybe not but that person made one moment of my life better.
As far as pretending it doesn't exist, think of how far ahead you'd be if you ignored a massive cut on your leg...it get's infected, it's sore, and one day you have to cut the thing off...hoping things will just go away generally only makes them worse. take control of the situation and give yourself a goal each day towards fixing it. Easier said then done I know, but think of a time when you did pull through and how well it turned out after. Sometimes that feeling of achivement is great motivation to get started. Good luck!