Has any of you on this board had to deal with this problem? My husband says he does not have much interest in sex as long as he is still leaking urine.I think he has his concerns about what the urine will do to me if we do have intercourse. He is post op 10 weeks now and just received the "pump". Can anyone give him some advice on how you deal with these issues at the same time? He also is taking Viagra every other day, with not so good results, although he says he has gotten some slight erections.

Thank goodness for this board. It is amazing about the most intimate details of our lives can be helped on this board, beings we have had to help one another in some way or another.

Thanks
Peg :wave:

Peg,
I had written to you a while back. Our husbands had very similar situations.
Has your husband had his first PSA test since his surgery? My husband is scheduled for the 7th of November and will see the Dr on November 15th. Very nerve wracking waiting for that first report. My husband was VERY, VERY LUCKY in regards to the incontinence situation. First day was bad, but after that he only wore 1 pad a day and only for about 3 weeks. Has NO leaking at all, even when lifting or coughing. This was a MAJOR concern for him before going into surgery so is totally relieved at how that came out. He did do Kegal exercises for about 1 month before surgery and we are wondering if that helped the situation. That was one good point we learned from reading this board. Dr never said a word about doing them until AFTER the surgery. He has been having partial erections. Cannot take Viagra or anything similar because of his heart medicine. He did start on the VED about 2 weeks ago and has success with that As with any male, that really helps his ego and frustration. Hope things continue to improve for you as time progresses. Let me know if you have any further questions in regards to our situation.

Peg,
I had my surgery in March, and 3 weeks ago was finally able to stop wearing pads. However, I have the same problem as your husband as far as leaking urine during sex. Actually, I ejaculate quite a bit of urine during orgasm. I asked the doctor about it, and he at first seemed to not believe that was happening, and I assured him it was. He said it will not harm my wife, and she's had no problem with it happening. We just put a pad and a towel under us so as not to get the bed wet. So, you're completely safe. I'm sure your husband has some uncomfortable feelings about it, but that's understandable. I will say that I tried to be sure to empty my bladder beforehand, but still would pass some.
If your husband is using the VED, the rings that hold the blood in the penis will likely prevent any urine from ejaculating. I was using injections, but had to stop because it was creating scarring in the penis. Apparently I'm alergic to the Alprostadil. I've had no success with the VED, and wish your husband luck with it. At this point, I'm "out of luck," since the VED doesn't work for me, can't use the injections, and Viagra and Cialis doesn't work.
I just wanted to assure you and your husband that it's apparently safe to go ahead without worry about physical harm from the urine. Of course, we always douche afterward. Good luck in the recovery.
doj

Thank you for your response. You provided some great info. for us.
My husband started the kegals a couple of months before surgery. We are certain he is still having urinary issues because the large size of his prostate which lead to more than usual reconstruction of the bladder. The doc said for us to look for a 3-6 month rehab for this reason.
Yes, he had his first PSA on Oct. 14th with a big 0 as his reading. We were so relieved to get this. This seemed harder to go through to wait to get the results than waiting for the surgery date to arrive. Let us know how yours turns out.

Again, thanks so much
Peg

I'm 14 months post RRP (undetectable PSA, wheeeeee!) and my only lingering issue is the same as your husband's. I don't leak so much during sex (the ring helps but it's also resolving itself) as I do during foreplay. Or my real big leaks come if I get a surprize stimulation. Baby can walk out the shower all wet and stuff or do a big ol' overhead arm stretch right in front of me without any notification and the faucet will drip every time. It is getting better with time, but I think it's going to be with us to some degree from now on. I'm convinced there's a muscle down there that has some control of both urinary function and releasing blood when an erection is called for. We're to the point we can joke about it. I walked into the kitchen the other day and she was on hands and knees cleaning something up. All I saw was her wiggling behind in some tight jeans. "Awww, you made me wet my pants, woman."

Seriously, I am fortunate, as it appears your husband is, that the wife is not put off by the problem. She understands and makes it bearable for me. No, I don't want to pee on her. But, well, we deal with it. We love each other. I'd do the same if the circumstances were reversed.

Something you want to male sure you and hubby are clear on is what both of you are comfortable with. If the leaking doesn't bother you, be sure he knows it. Go get some pads to put on the bed and invite him over. If it's really an embarassment to him, he needs to let you know that. When you both find a comfortable way to deal with it, then treat him as you always have. Encourage his erections to whatever extect they will come. Let him know that however long it takes for him to get back to normal is OK, but don't let him get the impression you don't care. He and his friend need to know that you and your friend still really want to come over and play. He'll get well a lot quicker. And if his healing takes the same path as mine has, as his ability to get an erection returns, the amount of leakage will decrease.

Anyway, however your's gets resolved, keep it in the right perspective. Hubby knows how PC would play out in the long run if he hadn't had the surgery. Even though he may not want to leak on you, I'll bet he wants to die on you even less.

DB

Your reply as well as all the others have helped me as well as my husband more than you will know.
I am in this for the long haul and then some. I will do whatever it takes to help him recover, and I mean whatever!! He is the love of my life.
I like the sense of humor that you have. I think a good chuckle every now and then is part of the positive attitude that we have both had since he was diagnosed in June of this year. He has been a real champ during all of this. I view this experience that we have been going through since his surgery on 8/15/05 as another journey that we are going through hand in hand, side by side, together...
So, taking your advice, I will let and encourage his "friend" to come over to see my "friend " as much as he wants. ;)

Thanks
Peg

I am age 51 - surgery 2 years ago. Continence is not a major problem - only if I pick up something heavy that is flat on the floor or if something or someone startles me. (I teach elementary school and kids come up behind me - delightful).

When I become aroused I leak urine and feel a tingle. Erections just don't happen anymore. If planned, I empty before and if leaking is present I use a small, tight condom.

Good luck! how things have changed!

My husband had his prostate removed a little over 2 years ago. He never had a leakage problem at all. He was on Viagra every other day for 6 months and then discontinued. This was mainly for the healing process. He was told it would take 12 to 18 months for erections sufficient for intercourse to return. They returned at 15 months. He is 68 years old so a younger person should have better results in a shorter period of time.

I really don't think that doctors take sex concerns seriously- so many just brush aside concerns! My husband had is prostate removed 2 years ago and erections never returned. However, he does still have an ability to achieve orgasm- mainly though oral stimulation. On occassion, there is leakage. I did some research and found out this is common. I also found out that urine is sterile, so you are in no danger of getting sick or infected. It is gross to think about, so I keep a towel nearby. Getting past the sqeemishness is essential to maintaining intimacy- which is possible- with/without erections and with/without leakage.

Yes, urine leakage is more common than the doctors let on. I am 3+ years post-surgery & no matter how much I empty my bladder I will sometimes leak-especially as I approach orgasm. Urine is indeed sterile(usually) and will not hurt you, however everyone has different tolerances. As I have said in the past, be patient. The healing process takes quite a while. The key for most is to keep trying......
Positive4u :)