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feelinglost
10-27-2005, 03:18 PM
Hello all....I haven't posted for awhile because my bpbf and Ihave been really working on getting him stable and on the right meds. He has been seeing his pdoc for about 2 months now and has been taking lamictal. He is up to 200 mg. but it does not seem to be helping his mood swings to much. He is biploar II with radid cycling. He cycles about ever 3 ot 4 days. When he gets in his down moods he pulls away from everyone he cares about, including me, and can't feel the love he has for us during that time. Then when he comes out of him moods he feels absolutely horrible for the way he has treated the people he cares about. He says he hates himself and the things he does to people he cares about. He is so scared that he will never be able to get stable.....last night he was really upset and said he just wanted to be normal. It ablsolutely broke my heart!!! He has also self medicated with alcohol and drugs. He is currently working very hard at quitting his cocaine abuse. He does really good for awhile and then when he gets in a really down mood where he can't feel anything....he gives into his cravings because he knows for the moment it will make him feel better. Of course, after he uses and feels better, he is absolutley appalled with himself for using again. We go to our first tdoc appointment together this coming up Tuesday. He is willing to go every week ~ and he is also willing to have me go with him. I trully do know how much this man loves me and I love him more than anything. I guess my question to this long post is can anyone help me with meds that have worked for them with bpII with rapid cycling?? He also has alot of anxiety and when he is manic he gets on line and looks up porn sites and has chatted on line. When I found out about it, he told me that he was a bad person and that I should let him go because I deserved so much better than him. I told him that when he did those things it was the illness talking not him and that we needed to continue to work hard on getting him stable. I also told him that I was not going to leave hims or abandon him He did have an episode where he cheated on me and was sooo upset about it that I worried that he was going to hurt himself. All he wants is to find a way to feel better and understand how to control his mood swings better......I feel so bad for him because he is really trying and feels like he will never feel better or "normal" as he puts it.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!!!!

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dragonprincess
10-27-2005, 05:32 PM
well i am a rapied cycler and have never used porn or cheating with another person to make my self feel better nor cocaine . yes I have self medicated with weed and have pulled away but if i feel the erge i use my boy friend not porn ,cheating nor cocaine i have been known to make a few calls but nothing that is that bad .sorry if i'm up****ng u don't mean to but have you talked to his doctor tdoc about this if not u should these bad things shouldn't be used as an excuss .But then agine everyone is diffrent but let's find out facts i geuss that's why bp gets a bad rap for cheating but some times cheating and porn is just that.I would feel bad to what is he going to say if he has been cot doing this .sounds like my ex husben said he had a bp problom turn out it was just a problom cheating not bp .he would make me feel so bad and try to get to my emotions and cry and say that he felt like he wanted to die please for give me and me having bp rapied i tryied to put my self in his shoes but he just keeped hurting me and had no bp it was just a lie . he played on my emotions and it worked for along time .Tell I talked to the doctor that is . I'm not trying to upset you if i did please let me know and i will appalajise .just trying to help.but i could be wrong.

ASUgirl
10-29-2005, 12:01 AM
My boyfriend is bp II and was diagnosed at 20, and had already been a full blown alcoholic by that time too. After the diagnosis his drinking got even worse. His is rapid cycling too. He has been on Depakote for quite some time and it helps him. He has been sober for about a year now! Your boyfriend is only being counter productive through the drinking and drugs, it really only makes it worse. Ifhe starts taking depakote,he would actually have to stop the other stuff completely because of how harsh it is. Mine had tried like 3 ohters until we went on the Depakote. Hope this helps...I feel your concern, but him blaming his illness for cheating is ridiculous unless he is eitherhas psychosis or is schizophrenic...I fell your frustration, but you can't save him

 
 
 




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