Hello, I have not really been here in a while, since my son left home because he did not wont to do a drug test, he is living with his grand parents now. I talked with his father today, and it seems my son is back on meth,and xanx, and what ever he can get. his father told me that my son comes home from work early, last week the company went to give everyone a drug test and my son got sick and came home, my ex husband said they went out of town last weekin and when they came back there house was broken into they got some beer, two weilding torches, and ate something and left the trash on the bar. He thinks it was my son and his wifes daughter and boyfriend.My ex said he is looking really bad in the face.In two weeks he has to go to court on a burglary charge, plus he is already on probation, The man my son stole from was his old boss, and is dropping charges, But the bail was 10,000.00,is that not a felony charge? will the state not pick this up?I love my son very much but I had rather see him in prison than on drugs, or dead.His brother told me he was coming to get his dog today he left over here, BUT I paid for that dog, and I have been taking care of the dog, I know the last dog he had he use to get it high too, :confused: And I have grown attached to this animal. Back to my son, I don't know or understand how he can not see he needs help. Even when a person is on drugs is there not a part of you that knows you have a problem?He was doing so good here at my house, till he had his slip up, after he left he called and wonted to come home, But he had done said so many ulgy thing before he left to my husband and I that my husband said no more!!!! I dont wont my son to die on drugs, I am affraid he will someday, I remember before about a year ago I could not even look at him in his face because he was so skinny in his face. It just makes me wont to shake him till his theeth rattles. A wasted life, I think about giving brith to him, and now look what he did .Does prison even help? I though maybe I could take to the judge and have him sent off, But would that help him to change? I know the child I raised is gone, he was a loving and giving person years ago.But I dont know him anymore......... I am hurt But what can I do nothing? all I can do is pray that God will put a stop to his drug use,before he wakes up with all his life gone, and lookes in the mirrow to see an old man looking back at him with a face of horror.Lots of times I have ask my self why him GOD, what did I do so bad ? I know i left his father and he wonted to stay he was 14teen so the court said okay. Shortly after that he begain to try drugs. Well I just needed to vent Sorry this was so long....... Felicia

I am sorry to hear about your son.. I know how hard it is. You love him so much and just want him to be happy--and you feel so helpless when you can do nothing about it. Do you go to Alanon? It has helped KFld (Karen) so much. You are a good mother and have done all you can do. What happens now is up to your son. You've also been a help to others on this board by giving them your support. We're here for you.

Felicia I'm so sorry for your struggle. I've been following your story for a while now. I can only imagine..my son is only 14 and my daughter is 5. I am a recovering addict and can tell you from my perspective...I had to have consequences. The longer I was allowed to just go about my merry way with no consequences..the sicker I got.

I agree with the above post...Alanon sounds like it would really help. I think you have done all you can at this point. You have to take care of you and leave the rest in God's hands.

God bless..I hope things work out well for you.

Hey Felicia, :wave:

I'm so sorry to hear about your son. Unfortunately, he hasn't his his bottom yet. And I know each day is horrible for you emotionally. I have mixed feelings about him going to prison. He probably would get clean. But I can tell you that there are drugs in prison also. And if he were clean in prison, I fear (as a mother would) that he might meet and be influenced by even worse people. Or it could be his wake up call. I have met many people in CA that prison was their wakeup call. And I have met many people in outpatient rehab that have been in and out of prison and still don't have a clue. Something will have to happen that will scare him enough that he will want to get clean for himself. I know you know all these things. I forget how old he is, Felicia. Just a thought - If he's under age, I wonder if the judge could order him to some kind of bootcamp for troubled kids. I have heard good outcomes from such programs for some kids. I've seen many TV specials about different bootcamp or wilderness programs. One was where they took the kids out in the wilderness in the snow. Some of the kids on this program learned a great deal and some didn't. I bet you could research these programs online.

I do not believe that some parents necessarily do anything wrong that cause their children to turn to drugs. I do believe that in some cases it is the environment they are raised. And I also believe in the "gene" theory. I have already starting talking to my kids (some are adults) about the family history of drug/alcohol abuse that runs rampantly throughout both sides of their family. I pray that just knowing and seeing what has happened with me will stay in the back of their minds if and when they are confronted with these issues throughout their entire life.

Most using addicts don't think they have a problem, until bad things start to happen. Some never admit it and still others know there is a problem but choose not to do anything about it. Sometimes there is this vicious cycle - use drugs (do bad things as a result of being high/drunk), get depressed and fell guilty, use more drugs to get rid of guilt (you don't have to deal with the guilt when your high/drunk) and on and on.

You are right that the child you gave birth to is gone. Hopefully one day he will come back to you. At this point all you can do is pray for him and continue to love him. I know how hard it is with your husband not letting him come back. But he is using and now stealing. I believe it is the best thing not to enable him. And he would lie and steal from you also if he lived in your home. Addiction is a horrible disease and makes the whole family/friends sick emotionally also.

I hope you have a good Sunday and I will continue to pray for you and your family.

Hello, everyone I would just like to say thanks. I did speak to him yesterday and his brother came buy and picked up his dog, He said Jonathen was at walmart with some girl he meet, Jonathan is 20 years old, and thinks he knows it all, has the world by a string, if he only knew what I do. Well anyway you guys have a wonderful Sunday, and God bless you all. Felicia

hey hunny,
just a quick note to say hang in there...be stong. we all love you and our prayers and thoughts are with you.
happy thoughts...lol, mmmmm skittles....
take it easy
love kris

Oh Felicia, I'm so sorry to hear that.

Please don't blame yourself, you are so dedicated and concerned about your son how could you be anything but an amazing mom? Your son has made this choice for himself, and if any of us could predict what leads to those choices, we'd cure addiction forever.

Thinking good thoughts for you and your son.

Thank you all so much for being here for me, If it had not been for all of you to talk with I really dont think I would have made it this far, I just would like to say one more times thanks for beinging so kind to me.......... Felicia