Here is the problem. I live in a small community, where there is only one med doctor for the mental health place. this doctor, actually, I don't even think she is a doctor, divides her time between many different things. sometimes she works at the hospital, sometimes at the clinic, sometimes in another town, etc. My husband's meds are NOT WORKING! he is on Seroquil, darn stuff, and had to go to the er last week because of the severe side affects from it. the med person was working at the time at the hospital, and she asked him if he could wait a few weeks before switching meds. He said yes, but he can't. none of it is working, he is still having chest pains. He went into the er because he had a temp of 103, racing heart, elevated blood pressure, and other things that are serious side effects of seroquil. I want to have him stop taking them, because I am worried about his heart. He also has a family history of heart disease. the next available appt. with this med person is November 17, which is too far away. I am not sure what to do. His mood is severely swinging, he gets angry if I look at him. then he is really hyper, then depressed, and angry. and he goes through this all day, several, several times a day. He is supposed to go into respite to change meds, but can't without this med person's okay. But she is unavailable, and he said to me that he feels like he is "going crazy". He tells me that there are a million thoughts racing around and he can't tell what any of them are. I am really worried. He says he thinks he needs to go to the hospital, but not tonight, but he doesn't want to because last time he went to get help, he was handcuffed and sent to the hospital where they wouldn't let him out. I don't think that it is good for him in the hospital, but respite care would work fine for him. He has done it before, and it made him relax and comfortable and safe while he had to change his meds. I am getting tired of these stupid "doctors" sitting on their buts and doing anything! its like they want him to be sick. I am getting really upset about this and I don't know what to do.

"it's like they want him to be sick" By golly i've said that before and wrote the clinic were my wife goes. I did get some relsults from voiceing that statment. Try it! It can not hurt any more than he is hurting now.
I do feel your pain. your's may be worse because he is a man and as such he could hurt you. Be careful.

Jesse,
I feel like we are married to the same person. Everything you have described in this post and other's fits my life to a "T". I just want to say that I feel your frustration. My husband has had so many different doctors because he will just get used to one and be doing allright, and then they'll quit or go somewhere else. I met the doctor that he has now at one of his appointments. I sat in and helped to mediate between the two. It turns out the doctor wasn't giving him enough time to properly convey how he was feeling.
Well, that was awhile ago and we haven't found the right med mix yet. I don't know what else to do either. It seems like he is cycling just as bad as he was before any meds. I tried to make him promise that he would tell his doctor that his moods aren't stabilizing! He is being so stubborn lately he thinks the straterra that they put him on is wonderful and frankly, I think it's made him worse. He doesn't see that. Then he tells me oh, all I need to be on really is effexor. I say no, you need a mood stabilizer as well.
I think he talks to his Mom who doesn't believe in BP and then starts to think he's not BP. It frustrates me to no end because he has lived away from her for our whole 10.5 year marriage and she has no clue. But I understand why he doesn't want to fully believe he has BP. He doesn't want to be that sick, who does?
For my husband it's a weekly cycle thing. The first 6 days he's hyper and happy. The seventh day he's sleepy. The next week he's really depressed and hateful. The third week he's high anxiety and angry and hyper. The fourth week he's sweet, kind, loving and the man I married.
I too find myself cycling with him. The problem is sometimes I get stuck on the first bad three weeks and during the good week I'm still frustrated and a little hurt so it's hard to be all lovey dovey with him. I still try though. I guess I just do the best I can day by day.
My husband told me never to take him back to the hospital, and I can't say that I blame him. If he has to go again, I will take him to the big city with a different hospital. Maybe he will get better care there.
I feel so upset when I lose my cool but sometimes I can't help it. I am very tolerant but I also have feelings.
I'm sorry to lay all this on you. Guess I needed to talk. I think if this appt. doesn't go well this week and nothing changes, I will see if he want's to get a different doc in the big city.
I would love for him to try lithium but his current doc doesn't believe in it. Says it's too dangerous.
We shall see.
My thoughts will be with you. If you don't think you can handle it, take him to the hospital. I'm sure you know it's hard to shoulder all of that on your own.
Nodi

Nodi
my husbands mom is in denial as well about her childrens problems. she loves them, and I like her, but she just doesn't want to have a clue. I try not to cycle with my husband. It is better for me and him if I don't because he needs stability. Just keep reminding your husband when he is cycling, and how, because he needs to recongnize it. Just be firm with him, but not mean. that seems to work with my husband, even though he gets angry. I have to learn not to be afraid of his anger. I know he would never hurt me physically. You might have to go to his doctor yourself, if your husband won't. Right now, I have to sort of take responsibility for my husband until he can figure out what the heck he is doing. He lets me, and I need to for his sake because otherwise he won't take care of himself. I do try to make him make decisions for himself, but if he won't, and it gets too bad, i have to do it for him. I always ask him what he wants though. and he will tell me, and then I will think about more options. I hope that your husband gets his meds straightened. Maybe try to research some medications and keep the information handy so you can refer to it when side affects come along. Just keep finding different doctors too, if they don't work for you, they are kind of like medication. don't be afraid to voice yourself either. You will find the right mix. Just keep your head up, and don't let your feelings be hurt because it isn't really him who feels those things, it is his frustration and anger with his bipolar. Try not to take offense. He needs you to be calm and stable for him to get better. that is what I try to do. But don't forget to make sure that your needs are met, if not by him, then by yourself. Take care of yourself.

Thank you for your thoughts,
I have been trying to sort things out for 10 years. I guess it has just been real stressful lately and harder to keep my cool. I have a career now and it is really demanding I still care about him but find it hard to be so strong all the time. Most of the time I am greatand I can remember that it's not his fault, I can remember that I need to be calm and not snap back, I can remember that I need to ignore comments that hurt my feelings. Shove it under the rug. But it really sucks because I still hurt. No matter who's fault it is or who means what. I seriously think that I need some counseling for myself. I just feel weak lately, like I don't want to be, but I am.
Anyway,
I will make it work somehow. Things will have to change either externally or internally for me to be able to get a grip. I've made it this far and tomorrow is another day to focus on finding the answer.
Thanks for listening
Good Luck to you and yours,
Nodi

Nodi,
Maybe counseling is good because then you can voice your hurts instead of pushing them under the rug. You do need to get your hurts out because they will end up hurting you worse. If it works for you, just make your husband aware that he is being growly and hurting you. But say it in a calm voice so that he doesn't think you are being emotional, and perhaps will take you seriously. I don't know how your husband is, but I do know how men can be. Maybe try those things and I would definitely recommend counseling. It couldn't hurt, or at least find a close and trusted friend that you can talk to. Good luck.
jessejomomma

p.s. My husband went into respite care yesterday so that he can get his meds changed. He is going to lithium and I hope that it works and doesn't poison him. I miss him, but this is for the best right now.

Please keep me posted on how you are both doing. I would be interested in hearing how the lithium works for him.
I found out Tuesday the my hubby wasn't taking all of his Depakote which is his only mood stabilizer. He was under the impression that he had to take it in the morning and then at night but was having problems with his schedule being able to take it all. The doc said he could take it all at once and he seems like he's doing better.
I KNEW there was a reason why his moods weren't stabilized. He always says he takes it all but sometimes neglects to tell me the whole story. Atleast he told his doctor.
Take Care,
Nodi

Do you think that it is common for bipolars to neglect to tell the whole truth? My husband does the same thing. He seems to be doing better on the lithium. He isn't as angry as he was, he said that he doesn't feel as crazy, and I think the depression is better too. they checked his blood on Wednesday and it was fine. He just has to keep getting it checked once a week. what other meds does your husband take? mine takes trileptal, buspar, and celexa with the lithium. Do you have children? I am curious as to what the meds would do to a baby if I got pregnant. He doesn't have children of his own, we just have my daughter so far, and I am hoping that isn't all that we have. ( removed )
talk to you later,
Jessejomomma

Hi Jesse,

Board rules prevent giving out any contact information.

My husband is on Kolonopin, Effexor, Depakote, Seroquel, And I think that's it for now...Oh and Seroquel.
He has been so sweet the past few days. I am really hoping it's not just a switch and is really how he will be from now on. Here's to hope!
We don't have any children. He has major issues about passing on his illness. His Dad had MI of some kind and killed himself with antifreeze. So he really is scared of fatherhood. I am not really worried about it because I think we would be more aware of symptoms and if our children needed help we could start early. Who knows what the future will bring.
About you and having future children, I'm not sure about Lithium. I know women can't take it can't while pregnant because of the health of the baby. There was a movie with Marcia Cross where she was BP and wanted a baby. She had to go off of Lithium and her family was so freaked out. Even though her husband was willing to do it, he had never seen her off her meds. Anyway, it was a rough few months for them but she had the baby.
I don't know if there are effects to the baby if the father is on Lithium or not.
As for not telling the whole story, I have heard people on here say that they do that with their BP. I'm sure not all do it but I know the HB does. He also seems to forget certain things that he's said or done conveniently at times. He does have a bad memory but some things I don't think can be forgotten. Maybe I'm wrong? I always give him the benefit of the doubt either way. It must be hard for him being on all those meds, maybe it does make him unbelievably scatterbrained. But as far as some light deviancy and deception, that is due a lot to his angry and defiant times.
Hope you are well,
TTYL,
Nodi

Nodi,
I definitely think that bipolar is inherited. As long as both people are aware of what the illness is and how to work with it, and as long as they maintain it, then things should be fine for the most part. My husband seems to be much better on the Lithium. I just hope that it won't end up poisoning him. My day has started out as bad, so I think that I will just leave it for now.
talk at ya later,
Leah

i have been reading this borad ,and iam so sorry that you all are having these problems.my son is bipolar his meds have been changed so many times it would work for awhile then back to the same old same old .My son was took out of public schools and put into a school where they helped him .i tell ya my son put me threw hell ,i went to his doctor and told her this she was testing this med on other kids that was worse the my son, she wanted to test him on it she put him on Abilify and omg he is doing great now it took him 3 weeks and now he is in pubilc school and has all A'S he has all kinds of friends now and is playing sports i have never seen him like this ,maybe ask about this med it mite help.
CJ

PS I HOPE everthing truns out ok for all of you ,keep trying there is a med out there that will help.