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You are good for our egos, Philister. I've only been around for a little over 80 days and I agree about the great folks here. They certainly have been my saving grace in the beginning of my recovery when I was pretty much house bound due to no car.

And wow, three years here. I do understand the people coming and going. And I think about how it will be for me when I go to work soon. I can't imagine ever giving it up completely. I will never forget the friends I've made here and how they helped me along on days when I couldn't help myself.

Phil you are an asset here...please keep coming back!!! I enjoy your insight. The more the merrier!! We can use all the help we can get. I hope every suffering addict finds this board..it is such a wonderful source of support & advice.

Good night.

I have to say that I have found so much support on this board that it is amazing. A couple of weeks ago when my doctor put me on methadone, I did a general internet search on the subject. One of the links that popped up was to this board. It was by chance that I found it and I could not be more grateful. In the past two weeks I have had questions answered, found support, and made friends. The people on this board are the most caring and loving group that I have encountered in my entire life. I never would have pictured myself pouring my heart and my deepest shameful secrets out to complete strangers. But here I am every day, letting myself open up for the first time regarding my fears of addiction, my pain, etc.... Like BeginAgain said, I hope that every suffering addict, or even those who just FEAR becoming addicted, find this board and the wonderful support group that comes along with it. Knowing that this board, and the friends that have come with it, are here whenever I need it gives me more strenght than I ever knew I had. There are not enough words to express my thanks to those on this board who have taken the time to counsel, to share stories and personal experiences,and to provide encouragement to me in my time of need. I also send out thanks to the creators of Healthboards. This is a wonderful concept and I can only imagine how many people have been helped by being able to seek advice and friendship posted on these boards. Thank you again to everyone. I love you guys!

Hey Phil, great editorial about the board and it's people. This board is the only thing that's keeping me clean, because my habit was secret and nobody in my real word knows how bad I was with the Vicodin. Phil could you tell me in a nutshell what your addiction was? I have seen many posts from you and have seen your name dropped a lot, but I am clueless as to the nature of your addiction. Were you a crakhead, a drunk, or a pill popper like most of us here? Congradulations on three years !!!!!!

Bill

Phil~ As an old timer here too, I am so glad to see the bond here. As you said, people come and go but it seem that I never forget the ones that have touched me. Spark, Michelle, Chef, Banker, Twins, and of course YOU~ and many many more of the ones who were here when I first decided that I "might" have a problem. You all have been here no onlyy as support when I have posted but in so many time as a reminder why I must fight the every day fight to stay clean. I have learned I don't let my sobrity get too far ahead of me. I have to keep it as a daily reminder and this board does that. I have it saved as a shortcut on my descktop and every day, I bring it up just to make a conscience effort to remember where I have come from, how far I have gone and how it all can slip away if I don't stay focused!!!
So, thanks Phil, for helping me along a road that was so scary that I thought I couldn't face it, but being a part of this board made me realize, I wasn't facing it alone!!!
Have a great day all!!
Candi

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Dear Phil (and All!)

(Don't catch my flu-germs. Achoooo!!!)

Do you know....I was thinking exactly as you were, Phil--that this has been a noticeably special period for this Board. When I joined (almost two years ago!), I was met by such compassionate, humorous, smart, caring people that I felt like I'd just been embraced in a "group hug"! LOLOL! :-) (Yes, Lortabuzzer--I have not forgotten you or any of our old group. It was a very special group of people--just as I notice there is now.)

I peeked onto the board in 2003 out of a combination of curiosity--and the awareness that although I seemed outwardly "normal" to others--I no longer recognized myself. The Vicodins, then the Oxycontins, (my best-buddies!) insisted that we could enjoy our "good times" together only in isolation. "Do your day work 9-5--then come on home and hang out with the ones who love ya best." My life was built around my 24-hour-a-day dilemma: "How many pills do I have--and when can I have them!?"

The difference between myself and other posters here, is, that I have the most wonderful twin sister---but, she, too, hung out with these same "pals." So, I shared my pill habit with the person I was closest to in this world. And, neither of us had the strength at that time to help the other. We were in this together--and I believe that because we were spared the worst of the isolation that comes with drug-taking--we lived in that world for far longer than we might have, if we'd felt the desperate "aloneness" that so many of you have.

When the time finally came that we knew we had to change course, our first instinct was to read, read, read all we could about not just addiction--but what was going on in the heads of those who were addicted. We needed to know whatwas the turning point for others--how did they cope? And, that is how and when we discovered this board--an amazing group of fellow-sufferers, who were looking for help--and those--like Phil--who could offer it. And, what a find it was! :-)

In the past few months, particularly, I've noticed that the wide, wide composite of people who write to this board has sort of "morphed" into a "whole"--a united group, who care not only about the facts and figures of addiction--but who want to know the people behind them. It's a warm and wonderful family--so similar to the group that welcomed me and my sister almost two years ago.

In Phil's inimitable--and gentle--way, he has reminded me of the importance of passing on my own experiences--my successes (and my failures)--to others, who, like myself, cautiously, but hopefully, hover around the board, trying to find the right time and place to set down. I'd really like to say to any of you reading this, who are feeling hopeless and alone......that there has never been a better time to "alite"! :-)

Thanks for your message, Phil--and my love to all who remember me--and helped me. It made such a difference--and still does.

A toast to all--and, especially, absent, much-missed friends (Dallas Alice, Kinda.... :-)

Lynn :-)

Hi all,
Addicts are generally by nature really good, kind hearted, hard working, loving and otherwise "normal" functioning people. Before I discovered I was one, I had a terrible misconception about this. I worked in the medical field with a 4 year stint in the ER. ALL addicts were those people the ambulance brought in who were lying in their own urine smelling like rubbing alcohol or those women I saw diagnosed with HIV because they were prostitutes and IV drug users sharing needles.

While this is a harsh reality of addiction and it is a very thin line that seperates us from the depths I have just described...it is truly a misconception that all addicts are this way. We function for years and years and even whole lifetimes with jobs, families, responsibilities. We live in cities, suburbs, or out in the country (like me). Up north, down south, out west or on another continent....it affects so many different socioeconomic classes of people. In my 12 step group there are literally homeless people and there are doctors and lawyers and everything in between. We are one.

What makes this board so wonderful? The broad range of people and experiences. We don't always agree. Sometimes we debate (even thought we aren't supposed to), sometimes we get angry or hurt or we read something that stings because it's like looking in a mirror and we don't want to see it. But one thing I've seen here is when someone is hurting...all that is laid aside..we help each other. Do you see the miracle in that? I do.

Phil I really related to your story.. so familiar. The accidental addict. Never set out to be one did you? Now I know..it was no accident. I try to look at this like everything I've been through has made me who I am today and shapes who I become tomorrow.

You guys are great!! {{{{{{{{Group Hug}}}}}}}}}

Hi Everyone

Phil, first of all, thanks for sharing your story. I've been curious about it as well so it was enlightening reading the entire thing.

Everyone on this board is great. I don't know what I'd do without all you guys either. This is such a great place for support and this board is my lifeline. I'm getting some face to face support as well but the combination of the two is how I make it through each day.

Thanks to everyone on this board for your caring, understanding, consideration of others. We really do have a great team here!

:wave:

Jan

Hey Phil,
Thanks for telling your story. I too am a big runner and fitness freak. I've never done a marathon, but I've done some 10 milers. After being a very successful recovering alcoholic for seven years, I broke my toe by dropping a cast iron wieght plate upon it, which required surgery. My doctor precribed me way too many vikes. I went though all the refills and had a good time, but really left it at that for a couple of years. Then a coworker with cronic pain problems started sharing hers with me, and I discovered how well they made my work day go by. As with you, mine was a very contolled habit for years. I didn't have a perscrition so I relied on others for my fix. I had a plan going for the longest time where I would get 10 750's every other weekend. As you said, there were no WD's or ill feelings. As time went by, I gained more and more sources. Soon it was an every day habit. This summer I found a guy who had a seemingly endless supply of Percocets(Vikes and Percs were one in the same to me). The hardest part for me was laundering my money to buy my pills. My wife does all the finances in the house, and it was always very hard to just drop 50 bucks on pills without her going, where did all your money go? I would fake going out to eat to keep the money for pills. My last pill bender finally put me into the WD's to the point where I had to call in sick to work. That was the last straw and I quit cold turkey. I must say my WD's paled in comparisson to the alcohol WD's, but they were not fun. Your story tells me if I start again it will only get worse.

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Hi Phil

I know you know who this is. Folks Phil is the best,he absolutly knows his stuff and he's a great person on top of that.

I'll be around some.

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