Hey Mags how are you? Where are you? I hope you're hanging in there. I have been thinking about you and all the other fight clubbers. What happened? We all just kind of gave up on the thread.
Well, I wanted to send out the cyber hounds in search of you to see that you're doing ok. How is your surgery recovery going? How is work? Etc, etc.
Let me know.

Thinking of you
Lauren

mags, i'm calling for you too sweetie! i really hope everything is going well. i miss you and all the other fight club girls A LOT. i check like three times a day to see if anyone has written, but no one has, so i hope you're all hanging in there. i know i should have written myself, but that old thinking won out . . . "i don't think my problems/successes are anything important and i'm just doing FINE (not great, not terrible, just somewhere in the middle), so I don't want to bother anyone with a wishy-washy post." well, f*** that! i miss you all and i like when we're sharing and helping each other and it's LONELY on these boards without you all. if you're still looking at them, come back and post! we need you and you need us : )

lauren, how have you been? i'm okay. gained three pounds since my lowest, think i look fat, feel fat, but trying to cope. still got some more pounds to gain! otherwise, doing and eating okay. thinking about food A LOT though. i'm so sick of calories and food and counting, i can't even tell you!

write back ladies! i miss you!

Also, where is BKFREE and SNITTER??? Where have all the fightclubers gone???

here but not posting - I had to start chemo for my lupus and it is kicking my *** so I have tons of prednisone which causes HUGE weight gain and then I have chemo which causes anorexia - talk about a catch 22. So what the hell do I do now? I feel like the gods are kicking me around. Oh and then recovery from surgery - is going really slow because of the Lupus, prednisone, and chemo - go figure!! I feel really angry and upset. i really don't know what to do anymore. Do I just throw in the towel and see what happens? Do I keep fighting and if I do WHY?

Hey Mags
I am so sorry that you are going through all this! That is an intense catch 22 and I can completely appreciate your frustration and confusion about what the hell to do. Have you talked to your psychiatrist about it? What does he think?
Are there any other options besides the prednisone cause that's horrible for someone with an ED to take. You started chemo? Why is that? I don't know too much about Lupus and I didn't know that chemo was used.
I don't want you to throw in the towel, although I can see why you would feel the desire to do so. If you throw it in that mean's ED has won and that's NOT ok. I've gotten to the stage of being angry at ED so I am kind of expressing it a lot. I can imagine that you're really tired and not having a lot of energy to get on here and post. But maybe we could be a help so you don't give up. Something I often ask myself what would "giving up" really mean? I really have a hard time answering that question for myself. So then I just keep on going.
Hang in there sweetie and keep fighting. I'm right next to you with my boxing gloves on. I think of you often and I'll send you LOTS of light and prayers!!

Love
Lauren

There is no alternative - well except dying slowly, hmmmm, ED dying slowly, Lupus dying slowly, seems to be a common theme in my life. My Lupus has gone wild and the chemo is to try and jolt the system to get it functioning again. Its pretty scary. God all I have wanted all day was an adult, who could understand how scared I am, to just give me a huge hug. The problem is there is no such beast in my life. I can't talk to my kids about this, they know what is going on but Im not going to dwell on my fears with them. Methotrexate - nasty nasty business, I feel sick most of the time, oh grrrr Im so PISSED OFF.

I know that I'm not sitting right there so it's not a "real hug" but I'm giving you a BIG, GIANT, STRONG Cyber Hug!!!!!!!!!!!!

{{{{{((((((([[[[[Maggie]]]]])))))))}}}}} !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!

Hang in there, you're an incredibly strong and resiliant woman.

Lauren-
thanks for caring about me, I really really really appreciate the support. I get compassion fatigue from my job sometimes especially with all that is going on with me, sometimes I get jealous - wishing I had someone like me for me, ya know? My shrink has been really caring too - relaxing the rules a little so I don't feel so pressured, this chemo is really a hard thing - fighting nausea, trying to eat with no appetite from the medication, ED screaming in my head all the time, then no energy to fight off the PTSD, its been a nightmare..

I just wanted to say hi Maggie. I hope you are doing well.
Keep your head high there are people who care. ((MAGGIE)) :wave: :angel:

Hi,

Is sounds like a really horrible time for you. I have fibromyalgia and my immune system is deficient, and sometimes I have to sleep a lot and just can't do a lot. I had to take prednisone for a while, and I remember that weight gain. And having to have chemo, too...with the lupus..you have such a lot to deal with now.
I'm here to listen, if that helps. I have just a small idea how it is to have to struggle with physical diseases in addition to the ED. Try to just float a little, and keep in mind that the meds will be over at some point.
I wish I could help more, but here is a big hug,

Seaturtle