This is going to sound stupid i think, but is anyone else scared of dying from this? I'm not normally this morbid by the way, just having one of those days i think. I always think I know what I'm doing, and that I'm safe, that my body will just put up with it........... I really want to tell my therapist how scared I really am but as soon as I go in there I become so defensive and pretend that everything is fine. I guess I'm worried she'll say I told you so or something, or expect me to make too many changes at once. I saw her a couple of days ago and she wants me to keep to some targets, ever since she set them I've been worse. I feel like she is expecting me to find all this easy and I just can't do it. Really do feel like a waste of space at the moment. I can't see a way out of this at all, not ever. I almost don't believe it's possible to get away from this.
I have a huge presentation tomorrow, loads of work to do, and I'm here thinking about eating again.......my whole life revolves around this and it's so hopeless. I can't prioritise anything right.
See, there's all these things I winge about, but as soon as someone comes along and tries to change it for me I just panic! Does anyone else feel like this? I was wondering if anyone in recovery here can remember the exact moment things changed for them, or is it something that happens gradually do you think?
I apologise for the rant that went with these questions! I hope everyone is doing okay anyway......

dulci xxx

Yes: I am terrified of dying from my ED.

I have a huge presentation tomorrow, loads of work to do, and I'm here thinking about eating again.......my whole life revolves around this and it's so hopeless. I can't prioritise anything right.
See, there's all these things I winge about, but as soon as someone comes along and tries to change it for me I just panic! Does anyone else feel like this? I was wondering if anyone in recovery here can remember the exact moment things changed for them, or is it something that happens gradually do you think?
I apologise for the rant that went with these questions! I hope everyone is doing okay anyway......

dulci xxx


i feel like that all the time! maybe this sounds wrong, but it kind of feels nice to know im not the only one...
hope you're doing well...

kate