Shirlett
11-15-2005, 11:52 PM
Mediation,
How are you doing? Are things getting better with your recovery? How is your pain? Better than right after surgery? PLEASE let me know how you are doing and I know there are others on this board that want to know also.
Hang in there!
Shirlett
How are you doing? Are things getting better with your recovery? How is your pain? Better than right after surgery? PLEASE let me know how you are doing and I know there are others on this board that want to know also.
Hang in there!
Shirlett
Sponsor
meditation
11-17-2005, 05:23 PM
Hello, Shirlett.
Just been resting a lot, lately. The swelling is slowly going down :). Still can't feel my lips and other areas...but, hoping it'll revive.
The pain is actually worsening. Dr. D has given pain control over to my local doctor here...because nothing is helping the pain and my sleep. I am being put back on my morphine pain patch. It might be the only solution, so I am going to give it a chance.
The pain isn't giving me a moment's peace. Its' not worse than before. It just is unrelenting.
My opening is 37mm, though :) yeah. Haven't opened that wide since before the 'screw incident'.
I am hanging in. I cry alot. Probably too much. Just trying to wade my way through this.
I am trying to push myself. My students and staff miss me...wow. I didn't think I made such an impression....gosh how wrong was I. They want me back pronto.....I am tentatively set to go back on Jan 2. It just depends on my recovery....just day by day :)
thank you.....how are you doing these days ((hug))
meditation
Just been resting a lot, lately. The swelling is slowly going down :). Still can't feel my lips and other areas...but, hoping it'll revive.
The pain is actually worsening. Dr. D has given pain control over to my local doctor here...because nothing is helping the pain and my sleep. I am being put back on my morphine pain patch. It might be the only solution, so I am going to give it a chance.
The pain isn't giving me a moment's peace. Its' not worse than before. It just is unrelenting.
My opening is 37mm, though :) yeah. Haven't opened that wide since before the 'screw incident'.
I am hanging in. I cry alot. Probably too much. Just trying to wade my way through this.
I am trying to push myself. My students and staff miss me...wow. I didn't think I made such an impression....gosh how wrong was I. They want me back pronto.....I am tentatively set to go back on Jan 2. It just depends on my recovery....just day by day :)
thank you.....how are you doing these days ((hug))
meditation
Shirlett
11-17-2005, 10:44 PM
Just take it slow....you CAN NOT rush this healing process. It took over six months for me to get the feeling back in my lips,chin and right cheek. And it took close to a year before I was 98% pain free. I know of a few others it was only weeks/months before they were pain free. As for the crying...I think you need a release...you have just been through a VERY big ordeal..you can not scream or yell to release your frustrations so you need to cry. Congrats on your opening. Doesn't it feel wonderful!!!! :wave:
You will heal..it just takes time.
I had a small surgery in Dr. Marshalls office yesterday. My back tooth on the bottom, of course all the way in the back...just could not handle the arch bar in March and my tooth broke and I would not let them pull it out...I am not stupid I was NOT going to cause myself any extra pain! DUH..well me being dumb and waiting until I felt like have the tooth pulled out did not work. the tooth broke off completely from the gum so yesterday I had to be put to sleep, have six incisions in my gum and Dr. Marshall had to cut out what was left of the tooth and the roots. I guess next time I will listen. I am going to blame it on the moon..I was in my hardhead mood...HAHA so I got put to sleep just in case my implant had to be unhindged for him to reach the tooth. I am so glad it did not have to come to that! Not too bad today. I have a little swelling on my jaw line and no pain just discomfort. I really expected my implant to be sore but hey, Dr. Marshal was taught by the best (Dr. D.) so he really knows what he is doing. And it does help that he helped put my implants in so he knows the implants.
I just wanted one whole year with no surgery. No being put to sleep ect. Did not get that. So Dr. D. and I are going to "talk" on the 16th of Dec about putting my left side back in sometime in March 2006.
Did you get any of this cold air down there???? We are tooooooo close to the Alabama line or something. Tuesday I had on shorts and a tank top and yesterday was okay, last night the bottom fell out and we had to turn off the ac and light the fire place. Tonight we are suppose to be 31. We are in Florida. Who did not get the message?
Hang in there. It will get better. I think about you everyday. To me having the implants put in was the Longest Recovery Road I have ever traveled. Now that I look back and read what I wrote during that time it seems like it lasted forever but it did not and to me it was so worth it in the end. So hang in there. Everyday is one more day of recovery. Everyone is differant and for me the pain took a while to go away and I am not kidding at all, I woke up one morning and it was just gone. For three hours I walked around my home just waiting and waiting like it was going ot jump out of a room and attack me and come back but it did not until I broke the implant. So hang in there. I can not stress to you enough what a tough road of recovery this is and you are traveling it and you are making it so it will get better.
Please keep in touch and let us know how you are doing and if you need anything. You know you can ALWAYS get support here and you have a lot of people on this board pulling for you and thinking about you.
Take Care!
Shirlett
You will heal..it just takes time.
I had a small surgery in Dr. Marshalls office yesterday. My back tooth on the bottom, of course all the way in the back...just could not handle the arch bar in March and my tooth broke and I would not let them pull it out...I am not stupid I was NOT going to cause myself any extra pain! DUH..well me being dumb and waiting until I felt like have the tooth pulled out did not work. the tooth broke off completely from the gum so yesterday I had to be put to sleep, have six incisions in my gum and Dr. Marshall had to cut out what was left of the tooth and the roots. I guess next time I will listen. I am going to blame it on the moon..I was in my hardhead mood...HAHA so I got put to sleep just in case my implant had to be unhindged for him to reach the tooth. I am so glad it did not have to come to that! Not too bad today. I have a little swelling on my jaw line and no pain just discomfort. I really expected my implant to be sore but hey, Dr. Marshal was taught by the best (Dr. D.) so he really knows what he is doing. And it does help that he helped put my implants in so he knows the implants.
I just wanted one whole year with no surgery. No being put to sleep ect. Did not get that. So Dr. D. and I are going to "talk" on the 16th of Dec about putting my left side back in sometime in March 2006.
Did you get any of this cold air down there???? We are tooooooo close to the Alabama line or something. Tuesday I had on shorts and a tank top and yesterday was okay, last night the bottom fell out and we had to turn off the ac and light the fire place. Tonight we are suppose to be 31. We are in Florida. Who did not get the message?
Hang in there. It will get better. I think about you everyday. To me having the implants put in was the Longest Recovery Road I have ever traveled. Now that I look back and read what I wrote during that time it seems like it lasted forever but it did not and to me it was so worth it in the end. So hang in there. Everyday is one more day of recovery. Everyone is differant and for me the pain took a while to go away and I am not kidding at all, I woke up one morning and it was just gone. For three hours I walked around my home just waiting and waiting like it was going ot jump out of a room and attack me and come back but it did not until I broke the implant. So hang in there. I can not stress to you enough what a tough road of recovery this is and you are traveling it and you are making it so it will get better.
Please keep in touch and let us know how you are doing and if you need anything. You know you can ALWAYS get support here and you have a lot of people on this board pulling for you and thinking about you.
Take Care!
Shirlett
Michelle W
11-18-2005, 05:00 AM
Hi Meditation and Shirlett,
I am checking to see how you are doing this week.
Hang in there!
Michelle
I am checking to see how you are doing this week.
Hang in there!
Michelle
Shirlett
11-23-2005, 08:40 PM
Hello!
I also was checking in to see how everyone was doing! I have been fighting a cold all week so all I have wanted to do is sleep.
Mediation,
How is the recovery going?
Michelle W,
How are you doing?
I hope everyone has a safe Holiday. We will be on the Rez for most of tomorrow (Turkey Day) so I will try to check in tomorrow night.
Shirlett
I also was checking in to see how everyone was doing! I have been fighting a cold all week so all I have wanted to do is sleep.
Mediation,
How is the recovery going?
Michelle W,
How are you doing?
I hope everyone has a safe Holiday. We will be on the Rez for most of tomorrow (Turkey Day) so I will try to check in tomorrow night.
Shirlett
meditation
11-24-2005, 12:01 PM
Happy Thanksgiving to all :)
I am hanging in. Not having a great start to turkey day, though. Been throwing up..probably all the medication.
My opening is about 41-42mm with stretching. wow, huh? That's my good news.
The pain. God. It's horrible. I don't feel its' improving. I am up all night. And, I know this probably sounds cliche'..but, I am literally up screaming all night. Just trying to take it moment by moment.
I go up to Gainesville next week to see Dr. D. Writing down all my ?'s. I still can't feel the left side of my face and lip. But, if that was just it...eh. The pain is just....I can not even describe it. So, we'll see what he says..
Hope your cold relents and that you feel better. Take care.
((hugs))
meditation
I am hanging in. Not having a great start to turkey day, though. Been throwing up..probably all the medication.
My opening is about 41-42mm with stretching. wow, huh? That's my good news.
The pain. God. It's horrible. I don't feel its' improving. I am up all night. And, I know this probably sounds cliche'..but, I am literally up screaming all night. Just trying to take it moment by moment.
I go up to Gainesville next week to see Dr. D. Writing down all my ?'s. I still can't feel the left side of my face and lip. But, if that was just it...eh. The pain is just....I can not even describe it. So, we'll see what he says..
Hope your cold relents and that you feel better. Take care.
((hugs))
meditation
Michelle W
11-27-2005, 04:18 PM
Meditation I am sorry to hear your are suffering more now since you had the surgery. I am praying that it is only temporary, and that you will be feeling better soon. Did you have surgery on both sides? I couldn't remember for sure.
I talked a couple of weeks ago with Terry Cowley at the TMJ Association, and I have decided that I will not do anything regarding my situation at the moment. I guess I will just stay on pain management as long as possible.
It is really a possibility that I will eventually get to the point where I can no longer eat again. That will be really hard for me as I eat too much right now. I guess we all soothe ourselves in some way.
I will keep checking in to see how your progressing. I am sorry your Thanksgiving was not very good.
Take care,
Michelle
I talked a couple of weeks ago with Terry Cowley at the TMJ Association, and I have decided that I will not do anything regarding my situation at the moment. I guess I will just stay on pain management as long as possible.
It is really a possibility that I will eventually get to the point where I can no longer eat again. That will be really hard for me as I eat too much right now. I guess we all soothe ourselves in some way.
I will keep checking in to see how your progressing. I am sorry your Thanksgiving was not very good.
Take care,
Michelle
Shirlett
11-29-2005, 10:17 PM
Mediation,
It will ease off but it takes a while. It took me over a year. So just HANG IN THERE! :wave: I see him on the 16th. Got my list ready :) I have decided no more surgery for at least another year maybe two. I can not seem to fit the recovery time in right now. We are going up to VA in June for a week for a family graduation and then my middle child graduates in May 2007 so this will be her Senior year coming up and so much to do with college ect, she plans to go away CO. so I need to be able to function and deal with all that is coming my way. I spoke with Dave last night for about two hours and from what I got from him there really is no data to say that by only have the one joint and being jointless on the left I will tear up my right side faster, more ect. So for now I am happy having only one joint. I really hope the pain will start to decrease for you. Just hang in there!
Michelle, be careful who you talk to and get information from. Have you gotten a second opinion yet? Did the OS tell you surgery woudl need to be a future option or were you told you needed to start considering surgery?
I am a little confused about what you had written in the past post. Sorry...do you mind reminding me.....?
Both of you TAKE CARE!!!!
Shirlett
It will ease off but it takes a while. It took me over a year. So just HANG IN THERE! :wave: I see him on the 16th. Got my list ready :) I have decided no more surgery for at least another year maybe two. I can not seem to fit the recovery time in right now. We are going up to VA in June for a week for a family graduation and then my middle child graduates in May 2007 so this will be her Senior year coming up and so much to do with college ect, she plans to go away CO. so I need to be able to function and deal with all that is coming my way. I spoke with Dave last night for about two hours and from what I got from him there really is no data to say that by only have the one joint and being jointless on the left I will tear up my right side faster, more ect. So for now I am happy having only one joint. I really hope the pain will start to decrease for you. Just hang in there!
Michelle, be careful who you talk to and get information from. Have you gotten a second opinion yet? Did the OS tell you surgery woudl need to be a future option or were you told you needed to start considering surgery?
I am a little confused about what you had written in the past post. Sorry...do you mind reminding me.....?
Both of you TAKE CARE!!!!
Shirlett
Michelle W
11-30-2005, 03:10 AM
Shirlett,
Dr. Wolford in Dallas, Texas told me my best option to get out of pain and off meds was to have a bilateral TJR with the TMJ Concepts. I have not decided who to see for a second opinion yet.
It seems from what I have heard from my orthodontist is that my OS, who recommended Dr. Wolford, does not agree with such a drastic measure such as a TJR. I am not sure what he wants to do a discectomy or arthroplasty again or what. I asked him to call me or send me a letter as to what his opinion is currently. My former OS will not do this for me. He insists that I come in for another office visit. I don't want to do it, because I don't care for him.
I was told arthroplasty won't work again because of the condition of the disc. I saw them on the films and they look awful. I can even see that would not work by looking at the films.
I was told a discectomy would not work because I have arthritis and I will fuse. I sort of agree with that, because most everyone I know that has a discectomy ends up fusing. I think I know of one lady that has done well long-term with that procedure. I am a little skeptic of it.
I don't have any insurance in Missouri that will pay for the procedure. I looked and looked for policies to find on that would cover it. The only one I could find was Blue Cross/Blue Shield, and I would have a large large large amount out-of-pocket due to Dr. Wolford's fees are what is considered above reasonable and customary to BC/BS. I don't think I would want anyone else doing the procedure on me to be honest. AND SO the saga continues................
I am at about my wits end between this and family problems. I wish I could get a break in a good way.
Take care Meditation we are all pulling for you.
Happy Holidays and here is to a better New Year for everyone!
Michelle
Dr. Wolford in Dallas, Texas told me my best option to get out of pain and off meds was to have a bilateral TJR with the TMJ Concepts. I have not decided who to see for a second opinion yet.
It seems from what I have heard from my orthodontist is that my OS, who recommended Dr. Wolford, does not agree with such a drastic measure such as a TJR. I am not sure what he wants to do a discectomy or arthroplasty again or what. I asked him to call me or send me a letter as to what his opinion is currently. My former OS will not do this for me. He insists that I come in for another office visit. I don't want to do it, because I don't care for him.
I was told arthroplasty won't work again because of the condition of the disc. I saw them on the films and they look awful. I can even see that would not work by looking at the films.
I was told a discectomy would not work because I have arthritis and I will fuse. I sort of agree with that, because most everyone I know that has a discectomy ends up fusing. I think I know of one lady that has done well long-term with that procedure. I am a little skeptic of it.
I don't have any insurance in Missouri that will pay for the procedure. I looked and looked for policies to find on that would cover it. The only one I could find was Blue Cross/Blue Shield, and I would have a large large large amount out-of-pocket due to Dr. Wolford's fees are what is considered above reasonable and customary to BC/BS. I don't think I would want anyone else doing the procedure on me to be honest. AND SO the saga continues................
I am at about my wits end between this and family problems. I wish I could get a break in a good way.
Take care Meditation we are all pulling for you.
Happy Holidays and here is to a better New Year for everyone!
Michelle
meditation
12-01-2005, 12:40 PM
Michelle,
Just wanted to say hi and that I am thinking of you today.
It is a shame that ins. companies are not taking TMJ seriously....whether they do not cover it or the client has huge out of pocket expenses.... this is a medical condition like any other. It isn't dental.
I wish I had words of wisdom for you...I just wanted to give you a ((hug)).
take care,
meditation
Just wanted to say hi and that I am thinking of you today.
It is a shame that ins. companies are not taking TMJ seriously....whether they do not cover it or the client has huge out of pocket expenses.... this is a medical condition like any other. It isn't dental.
I wish I had words of wisdom for you...I just wanted to give you a ((hug)).
take care,
meditation
luvtocamp
12-01-2005, 07:16 PM
My prayers and well wishes are with you. You sound like such a strong person, hugs to you.
Shirlett
12-01-2005, 09:45 PM
Michelle,
Dr. Marshall who is in Pensacola now, was one of Dr. Dolwicks interns and Dr. Marshall went to Dallas (I think) and worked with an OS there. So I willask him who the OS was and if it is NOT the OS you have already seen I will pass on tht OS name to you. Listen to yourself. Look at what you wrote, you KNOW you are not comfortable with your old OS so get a second opinion and find someone you are comfortable. I agree and can relate on the frustration on finding a GOOD OS that also makes you comfortable. I feel very lucky to have two! Hang in there. The right person will come along.
Mediation,
You did not tell us how you are doing!!! Is the pain getting any better? Has all of your swelling gone down? PLEASE let us know how you are doing.
Shirlett
Dr. Marshall who is in Pensacola now, was one of Dr. Dolwicks interns and Dr. Marshall went to Dallas (I think) and worked with an OS there. So I willask him who the OS was and if it is NOT the OS you have already seen I will pass on tht OS name to you. Listen to yourself. Look at what you wrote, you KNOW you are not comfortable with your old OS so get a second opinion and find someone you are comfortable. I agree and can relate on the frustration on finding a GOOD OS that also makes you comfortable. I feel very lucky to have two! Hang in there. The right person will come along.
Mediation,
You did not tell us how you are doing!!! Is the pain getting any better? Has all of your swelling gone down? PLEASE let us know how you are doing.
Shirlett
meditation
12-02-2005, 03:29 PM
Shirlett,
Hi, there. I just got back from Gainesville. The appt. went fine. My opening is about 35mm. I am being followed, medication wise, from a local doctor. So, it was just a follow up to the surgery.
I am hanging in, you know, the normal answer. I still look like a pumpkin...Dr. D. thinks it will go down. Still numb and drooling :). He also thinks that will improve. The pain, AH, it is horrible. It still keeps me up at night. And, he really doesn't know....the 'elusive' as he called it. I just feel like the pain is tearing me a part.
Just trying to make the next decision in a couple of weeks, do I go back to work or not???
Nice, huh.
HOw r u doing these days?
Meditation
Hi, there. I just got back from Gainesville. The appt. went fine. My opening is about 35mm. I am being followed, medication wise, from a local doctor. So, it was just a follow up to the surgery.
I am hanging in, you know, the normal answer. I still look like a pumpkin...Dr. D. thinks it will go down. Still numb and drooling :). He also thinks that will improve. The pain, AH, it is horrible. It still keeps me up at night. And, he really doesn't know....the 'elusive' as he called it. I just feel like the pain is tearing me a part.
Just trying to make the next decision in a couple of weeks, do I go back to work or not???
Nice, huh.
HOw r u doing these days?
Meditation
Shirlett
12-05-2005, 10:41 PM
Mediation,
Out of ALL the surgeries I have had I still say having the bi-laterial TMJ Concepts was the hardest to recover from. Just take one day at a time. Is your pain better from the day you came home from the surgery? And yes the swelling does take a while to go down also. I was banned to my home, my husband did not want people thinking he was beating on me. But it took me almost a year for the pain to go away. And three months after the surgery I was still swollen. Not like the day I came home or the week following, but I was still swollen. I know all of us are differant in how our bodies react but to me, it took me a full year to recover to a point that I was better than before the surgery. The worst thing I did was on my "Good Days" I would over do it and then end up having to pay for it. So take it slow. Did Dr. D. take you off soft foods yet? Can you chew? Yeah, Dr. D. and his words!!!! But one thing I have learned from him is if he does not know he tells you so instead of pretending he knows something he does not. What are you taking for pain if you do not mind me asking? Have you started the exercises yet? Next week is eight weeks for you? I see Dr. D. on the 16th and I guess there are new interns now? So I get to freak them out! HAHA! dave called me today from TMJ Concepts just to chat and check on my one joint. I told him just as i have told Dr. D. as long as I can eat REAL food and I am not in knee buckeling pain..no surgery for now. To me, what small amount of pain I have, I can live with. I can function with this pain and to me I can handle this. On my "bad days" I remind myself it will pass and I can put that day behind me. Compared to how I was having to live my life before, well to me I did not live before, the pain controled my entire being. When I slept, what I did ect., now I have gone back to work (only two days a week, I was working three but was informed by you know who, that was too much so I had to cut back to two) and I really missed my job. I missed my clients like I am sure you are missing your students, but do not push yourself. Allow yourself to heal so you can return at your best and stay there without any major set backs. I KNOW it sucks sitting at home in pain and I personally feel when I go to work I forget about my pain, but you are STILL healing and you are still feeling pain so you are NOT 100% healed yet from this surgery. Take your time. I wish I could take the pain away from you because I know how bad it can be and how much it really sucks to be in that kind of pain after the implants, when you want to try them out and get on with your life. Just allow yourself to heal. The "pain" is one reason I have NOT had my left side put back in. But having the resuction in pain that I have had since the implants, if I had to do it all over again I would. I kow I leep telling you to hang in there, it will get better. It just takes time. Let me know if I can do anything for you!
Shirlett
Out of ALL the surgeries I have had I still say having the bi-laterial TMJ Concepts was the hardest to recover from. Just take one day at a time. Is your pain better from the day you came home from the surgery? And yes the swelling does take a while to go down also. I was banned to my home, my husband did not want people thinking he was beating on me. But it took me almost a year for the pain to go away. And three months after the surgery I was still swollen. Not like the day I came home or the week following, but I was still swollen. I know all of us are differant in how our bodies react but to me, it took me a full year to recover to a point that I was better than before the surgery. The worst thing I did was on my "Good Days" I would over do it and then end up having to pay for it. So take it slow. Did Dr. D. take you off soft foods yet? Can you chew? Yeah, Dr. D. and his words!!!! But one thing I have learned from him is if he does not know he tells you so instead of pretending he knows something he does not. What are you taking for pain if you do not mind me asking? Have you started the exercises yet? Next week is eight weeks for you? I see Dr. D. on the 16th and I guess there are new interns now? So I get to freak them out! HAHA! dave called me today from TMJ Concepts just to chat and check on my one joint. I told him just as i have told Dr. D. as long as I can eat REAL food and I am not in knee buckeling pain..no surgery for now. To me, what small amount of pain I have, I can live with. I can function with this pain and to me I can handle this. On my "bad days" I remind myself it will pass and I can put that day behind me. Compared to how I was having to live my life before, well to me I did not live before, the pain controled my entire being. When I slept, what I did ect., now I have gone back to work (only two days a week, I was working three but was informed by you know who, that was too much so I had to cut back to two) and I really missed my job. I missed my clients like I am sure you are missing your students, but do not push yourself. Allow yourself to heal so you can return at your best and stay there without any major set backs. I KNOW it sucks sitting at home in pain and I personally feel when I go to work I forget about my pain, but you are STILL healing and you are still feeling pain so you are NOT 100% healed yet from this surgery. Take your time. I wish I could take the pain away from you because I know how bad it can be and how much it really sucks to be in that kind of pain after the implants, when you want to try them out and get on with your life. Just allow yourself to heal. The "pain" is one reason I have NOT had my left side put back in. But having the resuction in pain that I have had since the implants, if I had to do it all over again I would. I kow I leep telling you to hang in there, it will get better. It just takes time. Let me know if I can do anything for you!
Shirlett
meditation
12-06-2005, 01:53 PM
Shirlett,
Hi.
This is so strange. Mechanically, I am feeling fine. I am eating chicken and I tried pizza (didn't chew it just kind of gummed it). I feel like staying of a soft food diet. It's, well for a better word, labor intensive to eat certain foods...so, I prefer just to stay on the soft food, right now. I am using the therabite....my opening ranges between 35-40mm. It's extremely painful; but, at least it's there.
I haven't talked about work with Dr. D. I guess its' because I feel it's my responisibility. But, I do know this. I have to make the right decision based upon what I went through. I don't want to damage this work. I don't want to stress myself out. And, I know my work wants to put more responsibility on me. I just am not up for the politics. I heard the rumors going around...that because of my 'moods', I was about to be fired. My students love me, that is true. Yet, I have never shown attitude because of my pain. I just am not apart of the 'click' that has existed, so I feel I am being targeted.
Anyway, I just do not feel like rushing back into work. Dr. D did tell me, "This will take time", as my impatient self kept going, "But, I don't have time". I am still swollen, look like a pumpkin.....I was told, "It will take time". I know, just stubborn, aren't I.
I guess I expected this outcome, where the pain breaks and I look like me again, and I was let down (by myself). I just have to take the baby steps and believe the pain will break.
I just really don't realize just how much I had done. I mean, geez...a bilateral total joint replacement. wow.
I just want this to improve. I want the numbing to go away, so I will stop drooling everywhere. I want the pain to just break...to let me get one night's sleep. I go to my pain doctor on the 16th, so looks like we both have important appts.
You know, I didn't really see many of the interns. They put me in that big open room and so much was going through my head. I have faith in the work Dr. D did. There is not doubt about that. It's just, here I go (dec 2), up there thinking, "Some majical answer will pop out of his mouth." And, I realize, whoa slow down. Relax. Let yourself heal.
I so bad want to go back to my job; but, I am beginning to understand it may not be a possibility.....just a little confused and sad about that....
But, I am in okay spirits. Just hanging in.
How are you doing today?
Meditation
Hi.
This is so strange. Mechanically, I am feeling fine. I am eating chicken and I tried pizza (didn't chew it just kind of gummed it). I feel like staying of a soft food diet. It's, well for a better word, labor intensive to eat certain foods...so, I prefer just to stay on the soft food, right now. I am using the therabite....my opening ranges between 35-40mm. It's extremely painful; but, at least it's there.
I haven't talked about work with Dr. D. I guess its' because I feel it's my responisibility. But, I do know this. I have to make the right decision based upon what I went through. I don't want to damage this work. I don't want to stress myself out. And, I know my work wants to put more responsibility on me. I just am not up for the politics. I heard the rumors going around...that because of my 'moods', I was about to be fired. My students love me, that is true. Yet, I have never shown attitude because of my pain. I just am not apart of the 'click' that has existed, so I feel I am being targeted.
Anyway, I just do not feel like rushing back into work. Dr. D did tell me, "This will take time", as my impatient self kept going, "But, I don't have time". I am still swollen, look like a pumpkin.....I was told, "It will take time". I know, just stubborn, aren't I.
I guess I expected this outcome, where the pain breaks and I look like me again, and I was let down (by myself). I just have to take the baby steps and believe the pain will break.
I just really don't realize just how much I had done. I mean, geez...a bilateral total joint replacement. wow.
I just want this to improve. I want the numbing to go away, so I will stop drooling everywhere. I want the pain to just break...to let me get one night's sleep. I go to my pain doctor on the 16th, so looks like we both have important appts.
You know, I didn't really see many of the interns. They put me in that big open room and so much was going through my head. I have faith in the work Dr. D did. There is not doubt about that. It's just, here I go (dec 2), up there thinking, "Some majical answer will pop out of his mouth." And, I realize, whoa slow down. Relax. Let yourself heal.
I so bad want to go back to my job; but, I am beginning to understand it may not be a possibility.....just a little confused and sad about that....
But, I am in okay spirits. Just hanging in.
How are you doing today?
Meditation
Shirlett
12-06-2005, 10:52 PM
Mediation,
Today is Tuesday so I got to go to work for 5 hours. I am tired and it is so hard to get back into it. My boss has been selcted for Circuit Court Judge so we may be moving to the Courthouse the 3rd of January, MUCH better benefits PLUS I can continue to work part time and keep the benefits BIG plus! We were hoping to here from Jeb by 2:00 p.m. today but no telephone call. I know he is our Gov. and I am sure he is busy. Just hate the wait!
Do you have that fullness feeling in your head? I was so scared to bend over to tie my shoes for the first couple of months. I was scared I was going ot topple over. I know at some point I HAD to drive Dave @ TMJ Concepts crazy with my questions.
I know the pain is bad and I so wish I could make if ease off for you. To me there is nothing like that pain and I really hope there will NEVER be anything like it again in this life. It will get better (IT HAS TOO!) but you have to take it slow. Just think about what you have been through and where you aer now. Try to see the positive in your healing form this tramatic surgery. How are you energy wise other than not sleeping? Are you feeling better physically? This REALLY is a long healing process and it takes time. It took me a year and I know that sounds like a really long time but now that I can look back on it what is one year compared to seven years of horrid disabling pain? Hang in there and tryt o find just ONE positive thing every day. The healing time will go by and you will be better than before! :wave:
Take Care and I am here if you need me.
Shirlett
Today is Tuesday so I got to go to work for 5 hours. I am tired and it is so hard to get back into it. My boss has been selcted for Circuit Court Judge so we may be moving to the Courthouse the 3rd of January, MUCH better benefits PLUS I can continue to work part time and keep the benefits BIG plus! We were hoping to here from Jeb by 2:00 p.m. today but no telephone call. I know he is our Gov. and I am sure he is busy. Just hate the wait!
Do you have that fullness feeling in your head? I was so scared to bend over to tie my shoes for the first couple of months. I was scared I was going ot topple over. I know at some point I HAD to drive Dave @ TMJ Concepts crazy with my questions.
I know the pain is bad and I so wish I could make if ease off for you. To me there is nothing like that pain and I really hope there will NEVER be anything like it again in this life. It will get better (IT HAS TOO!) but you have to take it slow. Just think about what you have been through and where you aer now. Try to see the positive in your healing form this tramatic surgery. How are you energy wise other than not sleeping? Are you feeling better physically? This REALLY is a long healing process and it takes time. It took me a year and I know that sounds like a really long time but now that I can look back on it what is one year compared to seven years of horrid disabling pain? Hang in there and tryt o find just ONE positive thing every day. The healing time will go by and you will be better than before! :wave:
Take Care and I am here if you need me.
Shirlett
meditation
12-08-2005, 05:49 PM
Shirlett,
Did you hear back with your job? Is there any news?
I guess the only way to describe how I am feeling is a weight. I feel very heavy. I am beginning to realize the recovery process. And, I am learning to accept it. The only improvement, at this time, is that I can open. I shouldn't be so negative with that news, because it is good news. I just don't feel the difference with the pain, hopefully, just temporary. It just hurts so bad. The physical appearance is something I am getting used to, as well. I still look festive...my face swollen. I can not feel the left side of my face/lip/teeth. Dr. D. said that would go away, in time........
I can admit I am scared to do things. First, I am just afraid of damaging the joint. I just want it to last for as long as possible, whether the pain ceases or not. I can not imagine going through a bilateral TJR ever again. It really hasn't hit me yet...the severity of this surgery. I mean, think about it. It's not hitting me that I was under for more than 8 hours. Strange, huh?
I just want to get better, as you know. I just, at this point, want the pain to break...just a tiny bit. I would love the weight that is on my shoulders to go away....
So, you are right (as usual :) ), just find one positive thing each day.
((Hugs))
meditation
Did you hear back with your job? Is there any news?
I guess the only way to describe how I am feeling is a weight. I feel very heavy. I am beginning to realize the recovery process. And, I am learning to accept it. The only improvement, at this time, is that I can open. I shouldn't be so negative with that news, because it is good news. I just don't feel the difference with the pain, hopefully, just temporary. It just hurts so bad. The physical appearance is something I am getting used to, as well. I still look festive...my face swollen. I can not feel the left side of my face/lip/teeth. Dr. D. said that would go away, in time........
I can admit I am scared to do things. First, I am just afraid of damaging the joint. I just want it to last for as long as possible, whether the pain ceases or not. I can not imagine going through a bilateral TJR ever again. It really hasn't hit me yet...the severity of this surgery. I mean, think about it. It's not hitting me that I was under for more than 8 hours. Strange, huh?
I just want to get better, as you know. I just, at this point, want the pain to break...just a tiny bit. I would love the weight that is on my shoulders to go away....
So, you are right (as usual :) ), just find one positive thing each day.
((Hugs))
meditation
Shirlett
12-09-2005, 08:53 PM
I am telling you this is a looooooooooog recovery road. It took me a full year and I really hope it will not be that long for you. I think just from all of the cutting, pulling and implant placement itself my face as well as yours has been sooooo much and yes it does take a while to really comprehend what we went through. Not to mention the shock our bodies had to go through so yeah, it takes a while. To me, this surgery was like NOTHING I had ever gone through or remotely thought about going through. And yes because of going through that already once on both sides and then have the left implant removed in March (AFTER it had already fused to what bone I had left in there) the pain is undescriable and the MAIN reason I have not agreed to have the left implant put back in. Per Dr. D. and Dr. Marshall I have more range of motion that they thought I would have with one implant AND (BIG AND) I have gained now, 11 pounds so I am NOT having a problem eating anythign that is not nailed down (without hurting myself or causing myself pain later) so very little pain, great range of motion and I can eat, to me NO reason to have the left side put back in. As for your lack of feeling, I do not remember what Dr. D. told me about that but , I had no feeling in my lips, gums or the right side of my face for almost a year. I did get the feeling back in my face but not in my lips and gum until I had surgery in June of 2004 to replace my broken left Fossa. For some reason I am thinking he told me someting about the nerves needed time to heal and repair themselves if that makes sence. I still loose feeling in my lips and gums at time for never for more than a few weeks and it always happens after I swell so it could just be pressure and then it irratates the nerves or pinches then so they have to heal again.
It will get better for you. It HAS too! :wave: You are not alone. I have walked that road and survived it! So just hang in there and really I know it sounds funny but it REALLY did help me to find AT LEAST one positive thing every day and maybe you could keep a little not***** and write more than one thing a day to help you. If you get up in the morning and got at least five hours of sleep then write that down, as you progress in your healing write it down then you can go back and read what you wrote, focus on the positive things that you wrote down and the positive steps you have taken in your healing process and maybe that would help you fell better. It is a slow road but you will make it down it. Some days you have to crawl and some you will be able to run! Just hang in there and do not give up! I went through the same feeling of being scared that I was going to tear up or mess soemthing up so I babied my jaws and ended up making them more sore. PLUS per Dr. D. I ran a higher chance of allowing scar tissue to build up so be causious but not overly causious. Try reminding your body and mind that you are healing but that you will not give in too the pain. Do you still have someone staying with you? Do you think the pain is better since the surgery? And I am not referring to the pain right after the surgery for the first three to five days afterwards I thought I was going to die from the pain. I know it is hard but try to stay positive.
When I first started eating real food again I got tired like I used my jaw muslces too much since they really had not been used in the past seven years but soon that passed. To me it was like I was a baby and had to start all over again (even tho I do not remember back that far) with the open and close then sucking through a straw until I got to the chewing issue. I tried to look at it like i had a brand new pair of heels that need to be broke in the hard way only it was my face. But it will get better it just takes time.
As of 6:45 p.m. tonight no word on the judge position so they are going to make us wait throught the weekend!
Take care of yourself and hang in there!
Shirlett
It will get better for you. It HAS too! :wave: You are not alone. I have walked that road and survived it! So just hang in there and really I know it sounds funny but it REALLY did help me to find AT LEAST one positive thing every day and maybe you could keep a little not***** and write more than one thing a day to help you. If you get up in the morning and got at least five hours of sleep then write that down, as you progress in your healing write it down then you can go back and read what you wrote, focus on the positive things that you wrote down and the positive steps you have taken in your healing process and maybe that would help you fell better. It is a slow road but you will make it down it. Some days you have to crawl and some you will be able to run! Just hang in there and do not give up! I went through the same feeling of being scared that I was going to tear up or mess soemthing up so I babied my jaws and ended up making them more sore. PLUS per Dr. D. I ran a higher chance of allowing scar tissue to build up so be causious but not overly causious. Try reminding your body and mind that you are healing but that you will not give in too the pain. Do you still have someone staying with you? Do you think the pain is better since the surgery? And I am not referring to the pain right after the surgery for the first three to five days afterwards I thought I was going to die from the pain. I know it is hard but try to stay positive.
When I first started eating real food again I got tired like I used my jaw muslces too much since they really had not been used in the past seven years but soon that passed. To me it was like I was a baby and had to start all over again (even tho I do not remember back that far) with the open and close then sucking through a straw until I got to the chewing issue. I tried to look at it like i had a brand new pair of heels that need to be broke in the hard way only it was my face. But it will get better it just takes time.
As of 6:45 p.m. tonight no word on the judge position so they are going to make us wait throught the weekend!
Take care of yourself and hang in there!
Shirlett
Michelle W
12-10-2005, 08:39 PM
Hi Meditation,
I am thinking of you and watching you continue to post. I am hoping you will get a break from the pain for the holiday.
Take care,
Michelle
I am thinking of you and watching you continue to post. I am hoping you will get a break from the pain for the holiday.
Take care,
Michelle