I'm 22 years old, a college senior, and I have had fibro for about 1.5 years now. I also recently become engaged. And I am applying to graduate school. And I am worried about what will happen in terms of the future. I find myself thinking with two different minds- the well I can't do this kind of job or this kind of job becuse of the fibro mind and worrying what kind of job I will get and be able to do if I don't get into grad school and wondering if I should be more optimistic. Shouldn't I plan on getting better? I mean I am getting married in summer or fall of 2007. Thats a happy thing. So maybe I will be better by then. But this fall I have had pneumonia twice, a flair up of my rare nerve problem that I have to go to Mayo for, and I fell down and hurt my knee pretty badly. I'm trying to be open minded and think of possible paths, I suppose. I used to be healthy, but I had this strange fever/illness for a several days and then a couple of months later I had an ovarian cyst that damaged a nerve in my abdominal wall when it ruptered and then, bam, fibro.

Does anyone have any advice about what mindset to aproach the future with?

hi ky,
an open mind, a can do attitude, and determination. find the silver lining in all you experience and you take away a lesson for life.
i have been dancing on this journey a bit over 11 years now. you can do anything you set your mind to. maybe not as fast as you want but get it done you will. believe in your own inner strength.
will you be sick the rest of your life? possibly, but hey, who knows? you are young. in time the answers may come to our practioners of medicine. till then we adapt, we persevere and we find our joy. what we do not do is give up, curl up and shrink to nothingness. total waste of life and breath.
what is your major and what purpose would you like to serve with all your knowledge?
peace filled welcoming hugs,
bluelakelady

Hi Ky, congratulations on the upcoming wedding! That's definately time for celebration. Planning a wedding is extremely stressful & you also are the middle of school, thinking about graduate school & dealing with health problems. Managing all that & keeping yourself positive is a huge task but, from your email it sounds like if anyone can do it you can. But, the key is going to be taking things one at a time & asking for help - delegating. You cannot do this alone. Finding a balance is key - you may not be able to do everything but, do the things that bring meaning & happiness to your life for your future.

It will get better & you will get better. But, you'll have to find the balance for you with your health. Those things that help to make you feel better more of the time. The right doctors, the right support which could include cognitive therapy & especially the right physical treatments such as water therapy/yoga etc., and taking time to breathe & get well.

As far as graduate school - it's becoming more & more important in the workplace these days. But, it really depends on your field. Staying in school may give you more time to get better versus having to go out into the workplace now. But, it's a hard decision. I know that the company I work for that a masters degree is highly prized & helps a person to get the leg up initially. But, the bottom line is that just having a degree doesn't always cut it. It will get you in the door but, it's what you do once you are in the door that counts - certainly knowledge is power but, it's how you use that knowledge - bottom line. And as a note most people that I know that didn't get the masters after the BA do wish they'd done it as it's much harder later on to go back while working full time. Also keep in mind there are many fields though that you can do into that are more flexible with hours & if you "consult" or work from home you set your hours.

Trying to stay positive is key to you getting better. Know that you are not alone and that you will get better. One day at a time. Believe, have faith & remember to breathe. :angel:

Bluelakelady and Sun Shine are great inspirations. They are so right. Positive attitude is so important. I didn't realize how important breath was til Yoga. I always had a tendency to hold it or breathe shallow. Life is what you make it. Go for it!
Cindy

I don't have too much to add to what these sweet smart others said. But, try to reduce stress, don't hold in anger, frustration, even if all you do is holler a bit or cry yell into a pillow. When people ask something of you, know that it is just fine to say no. I am finally learning that one. Enjoy life as much as you can. When you feel like having a pity party, have it, probably better by yourself or on here with us, and then go on. I try not to do to much planning unles it is something that means alot to me and I know that I can do it without undue stress on my body or mind. Remember there are times of flares and then there are better times, you may learn as you go on what may set one off, how often they last and how often they show up. And remember of course that we are all here for you.
April

thank you april for bringing up a vital point. learning to say no. this is the very foudation of sanity with fibromyalgia. being able to say no without any guilt residue.
how are you today ky?
peace,
bluelakelady

Thank you everyone. Those are all good points. Take things as they come.

I want to be a children's librarian. So that means I need to go to grad school. So it would be extra nice to get in :) If I don't get into grad school then I need to find a job- my majors are creative writing and psychology. Not sure what sort of job.

I don't like uncertainty all that much. I also have a learning disability and with that and the fibro I just feel so resitricted. I want a timeline- I want my doctors to say you will get better by this date and here is a timeline for recovery. But I know that will not happen.

I suppose I have to remember that to do more I sometimes have to do less.

With the background in psychology & getting your MA in library science you will be an asset. The learning disability is difficult when you combine it with Fibro - for me I too have a learning disability that when the Fibro Fog comes makes it difficult but, I make a lot of lists, work on being organized & refer back to my notes often. (Even using a small tape recorder when possible). Total type A but, unforuately we can't control everything. But, there are a lot of resources out there to help you complete school and with work too. Don't give up you can do this. But, if it gets to a point where you do have to take some time off know that you are doing it for you - to get better.

DO ask your doctor for a timeline - that will help you to be on the same page - a flexible timeline? Maybe explore alternate therapies too. This might take awhile but, work with your doctor to get you stablized and in a better balance overall with your life.

Many hugs & blessings to you. :angel:

keythra, you have achieved so much, good for you. This is a very fickle illness to say the least. So keep in mind that when asking your doc. for a timeline that you do not take it as concrete. That was me, just wanting answers and wanting to know when this will end. But when he couldn't give me the answers I went into a downward spiral and am slowly coming up for air. It absolutely SUCKS!!! and there is no other way of putting it, but I think for me it is a way for me to become more personal with my body and inner spirit which was always put aside. As you can see I am trying to find the positives with this. I wish you luck and remember we are never given anything that we can not handle.
Happy Thanksgiving, Avrod

No, there should not be any plans to stay sick forever. Even though most people feel that we can't be cured of fibromyalgia or its symptoms, some of us are. We aren't in the headlines, because some of us have been cured by non-traditional means. Even when we tell doctors we are cured; well, they don't believe it. They haven't seen the proof of how we feel. How do you prove pain or the lack of pain, that is completely outside their level of knowledge?

I had years and years of muscle pains near the joints, urinary problems, lower back pain, headaches, occasional chest pains, gum disease, and loose teeth and so forth. Although never diagnosed officially as fibromyalgia, my doctor and I discussed this as possibly being fibrotitis. That was over 20 years ago.

Sometime over 10 years ago, I had my mercury fillings replaced after one of my back teeth broke and exposed a filling. When the filling broke apart along with my tooth in my mouth, about a day or so later, my pains intensified. Year by year after I had these mercury fillings replaced with porcelain ones, I have been feeling so good. I now run nearly 20 miles a week, where in 1978 I was told to not run more than a hundred yards by a doctor.

Other people have been cured of fibromyalgia symptoms apparently after discovering that they had some type of tooth or gum infection. At least one person here wrote about it in the past. I don't know anything about that, but I believe that a lot of things could be causing this fibromyalgia or its symptoms. It obviously is things that a lot of doctors don't know about.

For many years I fought the thoughts that I would have to live with this disease. So I first started with vitamins and minerals...changed my diet to a healthy one...starting taking herbs...then changed out those poisonous fillings. Basically, I went the "natural route" of being clean as much as possible of toxins, and following a healthy lifestyle. I never smoked and I also quit drinking any alcoholic beverages. I tried to live as pure a life as possible. I didn't want this. I didn't want to live this way. It was a miserable existence.

I recommend that everyone try to do every thing they can do develop a healthy lifestyle. Try. Don't give up. Don't let anyone tell you that there isn't a cure. For some of us, there is. We are happy today. :) For the rest of you, the cure hasn't been discovered...but it is still there. We just have to find it.

I am now happy. Yes. But I'm also sad. I'm sad that you all have to feel that way. I've been there...done that. I hope you all get well. Push the boundaries with your doctors...give it all you can to find a way to health. :)