Hi everyone!

Just to give you a quick run down on my son, he is 2.5 years old and is or was severaly delayed, we actually thought that maybe there could be a chance there was something mentally wrong with him because he was so delayed. He didn't start crawling until he was 11 months, just about a month ago he barely started walking, he doesn't talk at all and he's delayed in his motor skills. We took him to see every specialist under the sun and not one of them could find anything mentally or physically wrong with him. It all just came down to him being severaly delayed. So we enrolled him in ECI (Early Childhood Intervention) to help out with his delays. He has improved alot but is still under what they consider normal. Now that he's going to be 3 in April he is supposed to start a special school that Fall, for kids that are delayed, Autistic, etc. I just don't know how I feel about this. While in the meeting with my son's therapists from ECI and the staff from that school and they were talking about him starting school next Fall, I just wanted to break down and cry!! I felt so sad for him and I thought to myself "why the hell is this happening to my son???" of course this has been my question ever since we discovered that he was delayed. Anyways, I just feel so sad that at 3 years old he's going to be in school, I just want him to be home with me and when it's time to start school at the age of 5 then we will go through this then. I know this is the best for him but I can't help but feel like he's too young. I know it's the right thing to do and this will help him a lot. I guess I just want to hear some incouraging words to make me feel better.

Thanks for your time. I appriciate you listening.

Fallon, It is totally understandable how you feel. If you dont feel comfortable sending your child to school then dont! If you choose not to send him he STILL can recieve special services in your home just as he is now! Yes Early Intervention is Birth to 3, however when you have a child with delays once they reach the age of 3 there are other programs available that he is eligible for that still provides the services in the home. So dont let them strong arm you into believing that he has to attend this school to recieve the extra help that he needs. Do your homework and ask questions!!!!!!!

I have a severely handicapped child who was in the Early intervention until he was 3, after that he was put into another program so that he could still recieve the services at home. He is 9 years old now and he still doesnt attend school because i refuse to send him so they have to provide services for him in my home!

You are your childs only true advocate so you have to do what YOU feel is best for your child!

Good Luck,
Valley

hey i just read your post i am going through same thing they are already talking about my daughter going to school at 3 i was in tears yesterday and about at the age of 4 where she will go. i want to go with her i htink i may be able to at age of 3 :confused: I hope you are doing good just wanted you to know i am going through the same thing. i know i have a year until she's 3 but it goes too fast. i am trying to find out if i can get in home services for her maybe you can get something for your son so he can still be home at 3 i am trying to do that myself. i am thinking of you,

Nicole

Valleygurl: Thank you so much for your response. I did't know that I really had a choice, I'll definitely look into that. You would definitely know since you have gone through this sort of situation with your son. I just don't want them to think I'm negliful with my son, it's not that at all, I just don't feel comfortabe putting him in school so soon and what really bothers me is that he doesn't talk yet. Again I sincerely appreciate your response. :)


Momof2kids2005: I hate to hear that you're going to go through what I'm going through now. It's definitely been very hard for me these last couple of days just thinking about it. I'm just going to weight my pros and cons and then go from there. You just do what you think is best for you and your daughter and if if you feel comfortable like Valleygurl said. If you haven't read her response to me you should read it it has a lot of good info. Take care!

Fallon C~
I just wanted to give a response from a different point of view. I am a preschool teacher and I think sending your son to the school is a wonderful idea. I know as a mother it is hard (I have a 3 year old as well!) to see your child go through any kind of problems, but the school can only help your son! Not only will it help him developmentally but it will be good for him to be around other children. It will help his social skills as well. It is definitely better to work with him now instead of when he is ready for kindergarten. Plus, it doesn't sound like your son is that far behind, in my opinion. We've had many children at the preschool who talked late or didn't interact well with others but eventually they catch up. some kids just take longer that's all. Maybe visiting the school and talking to other parents whose children attend will make you feel better about the whole thing. Remember, while it seems difficult and scary at first, it is in your son's best interest and that is what counts the most. Good luck!!!

You definately have a choice. I homeschool my kids now (they have been in public school). If I could do it all over again I'd homeschool from the beginning.

I have one with Asperger's, one gifted and one with servere dyslexia and other learning difficulties.

There are all sorts of things you can do at home for your child and the best thing is the one on one interaction that school/daycare/playschool, etc cannot give no matter how much the teachers care.

I'm not saying it's right or wrong - there are just other options. As far as I'm concerned it's in a child's best interest to be at home with mother, especially in the early years. As for "socialization" (I really hate that word), I found my kids picked up all the bad stuff but not the good. How on earth does it help them to learn social skills from other kids who don't know anything about social skills. I'd rather my kids learn from adults as well as kids about what social skills are.

If you do not feel good about giving your child to someone else to raise while he is this young, don't do it. You'll feel better and so will your son.

Jeannie

i had a question of course i can't potty train my daughter she has signs of autism etc and developmentally delayed and in school do they change diapers cause i think they only go 3 hours but what if they have an accident just wondering how that works? she will be 3 years when she goes to school and if we can't potty train her by then? Hope this isn't a stupid question.

Hi Momof2~
At the preschool I work at, some of the 3 year olds aren't totally potty trained yet, my son included. If they have an accident, the teachers simply change their clothes, clean them up and all is good! If your daughter is still in diapers, they can probably just change her diaper like usual. The 3 year olds at my preschool HAVE to be in pull-ups, no diapers. That is because the children have potty time several times each day and it helps them learn to go potty...they can't do that if they are in diapers. My son turned 3 in October and he can go pee in the potty but not poop. I hate it when people say "Oh he should be totally potty trained by now" but I can't MAKE him do it. So don't worry...your daughter will get it when she is ready! My daughter was about 3-1/2 when she finally got it; she's 7 now. Talk to the school though about their particular policy, what you need to provide (i.e. change of clothes, etc.). They will not think it is a stupid question at all. Good luck!!!

yeah reason i ask is cause my daughter may be autistic so that is a whole different ballgame. not sure when she will be potty-trained.

Hi; I'm going through something very similar right now. My son's Early Intervention ended in November where he was getting 22 hours weekly which 18 hours was 1.1 therapy. The public school offered him a preschool program without any 1.1 and a home componant of 4 hours weekly which I don't feel is sufficient. I have held off and am going to have an Independent Evaluation done and see what the recommendations are based on this, Then I don't know what will happen. The school hates me right now because I didn't go along with their placement. It's extremely uncomfortable and I feel like permanent damage is done with the relationship to the school.

Can ya tell I'm bummed out about this right now. It's been the hardest thing we've gone through since wondering if he was Autistic. He's high functioning, but needs help still and they aren't offering enough to help him be as successful as he can be.

We are paying privately for ABA right now but can't afford to keep it up forever.

It's not hard enough to have a disabled child, but then having to deal with the red tape to get what they need is just a bigger slap in the face. It's just exhausting.

Advocating for your child is indeed the hardest thing. I've never had anything more tiring. Whether it's with dr's, school boards or trying to get respite, it's not easy.

Getting rid of the school system was a hard thing for me but I'm glad I did - it's one less fight. However, I have found it can make life harder with the dr's. I have one dr that is all for homeschooling and another that we're slowly convincing as we go but we've had to prove ourselves so to speak.

I know there are some advocating sites on the web. They can help you learn how to do it yourself.