She was perfect when she was little, but then her fingers got a little chubby and her stomach was big, the rest of her is perfect, legs,face,arms and feet they are all fine its just her stomach and her hands (not so much the hands). Recently she has gotten very bothered about her weight and insists to wear a huge shirt or a cardigan to hide the stomach, she has a talent show at school and she thinks its holding her back from dancing and now she has gotten really bothered about it she says that she wont eat because it will get her thin and she refuses to eat much ,she stopped eating much yesterday and i don't know what to do ,people are picking on her at school now and i spoke to her teacher and everything. The doctor said give her more excersize and healthy food about a week ago, which i did, I really dont think she needs a diet because she isnt too overweight for one. She also has a dog phobia so she refuses sometimes to run outside because she is afraid a dog will come and bite her. Also she said she wanted to have a "nice flat stoamch" like all the other kids in her class. Her friends said she wasnt good at dancing so they dont want to be with her in a group which made her think more about her weight. This is scaring me because she isnt eating, also i want her to wear nice clothes (she usually goes round with huge shirts and looks bad) so please if anybody can help me, please do..

This is rather unusual.when a child,or anyone for that matter gains wieght,it usually disperses itself in some form thru out the entire body.has she seen a doc about this?I am just mentioning this only because my son was kind of like this,only he was wider,not so much frontal.as it turnd out,he had some severe liver problems which were causing his liver and spleen to become very enlarged.This 'could' and I am only saying 'could' be a possible reason for this.or it could possibly be some other type of GI disorder.Having just the stomach area enlarged should be evaluated,really.hopefully it just may possibly be the way her body just 'is'.at any rate,i would have this looked into.good luck,marcia

Hi Marcia.

It isn't all on her stomach,some on the thighs and arms. She's starting to eat normally again so i don't think its too serious, i'll carry on giving her more excersise and vegtables and fruit,if that doesn't works then i'll go see the doctor about it :p
Sophie.

now,THAT sounds much more normal.i had a similar body build when I was around that same age.It was just the way my body kind of stayed up til around like between 7th and 8th grade,then it just started coming off all by itself.i was 'told' that it was just 'babyfat"?what bothered me the most though was that my sister who is one year older and my mom were just way skinny and i was this little blob.well now,my mom and my sister are the bigger ones and i am wearing a size 3-4.payback is wonderful.lol.i am sure she will just eventually drop the fat as she matures.just keep a closer eye on her fat intake and encourage lots of fruit and veggies.If she appears to be healthy in every other way,it is probably just the same situation I was dealing with.keep me posted.marcia

She sounds like a normal 11 yr old to me. As she gets taller, she will slim down. My son went through the same thing...now 15, and slim as can be and eats like a horse.....give her time....

Well i'm not going to have any problems getting her fruit and veggies, she loves to eat fruit and veggies.. especially broccoli...most people hate it but she always insists on getting a bag of broccoli from the store :cool: And she loves melons,apples,bananas,pears,peaches , so that just makes it easier for me :D

Hey flintrock,

Glad to know you were going through the same thing, most people on other chatboards told described it as "puppy fat" or "baby fat" and i wasn't sure what to do, but this site has more proffesionals on it so i decided to post here... :cool: So i'll wait...

Ok now she thinks she has to exercise for like 2 hours, she got hold of a copy of a fitness video, everytime she uses it, her throat hurts untill she stops for a while.She is in year 6 and will be 12 in September, she is scared that in her new school (Year 7 , 7th grade ..however you say it) people will say "Oh look at the fat little girl!! haha she is so ugly !! " which is unlikely. We have nearly 7 months to try and get her stomach "flat" ..baby fat or not...we have to try because this is tearing her apart, So anybody know any indoor exercises that my daughter can do ...thats free...i have credit card problems so i have a tight budget. how long should she exercise? ( we know dancing is one, any others...or will dancing just do good on its own?).

Help!!!

I'm sorry but what I'm hearing is really scarry. Your daughter has definite self-confidence issues that, I think, go way beyond her weight. I realize that being overweight at her age is damaging to the psyche but there's got to be a better way to treat it than 2 hours of exercise a day! That's crazy! Why are you letting her do this? I can't believe that you actually want her tummy to be flat before she starts grade 7! Is that even possible? I think you both need professional help so that both of you can deal with her weight in a healthy way. Otherwise, you're setting her up for a lifetime of roller-coaster dieting and exercising, which we all know, doesn't work. You should work on her self-confidence and self-love, not her tummy!!!

I didn't let her, she exercised with the fitness video secretly before i went into her room to pick up dirty lanundry and i could see the video on and she was dancing with it. Lets get this clear, She IS NOT going diet, why would i do that to her? She isnt going to have a diet of just fruit and veg with none of the normal foods, that would be torture. I am working on her self-confidence and love, i'm not telling her anything negative about her weight, you got it the wrong way, i said she was THINKING about getting 2 hours a day, she didnt actually do it. I want her to loose some weight, it's normal for parents. (i also took the video away from her when she told me about her sore throat) She likes dancing and does it for about an hour, eats lots of fruit and veg, eats stuff like crisps (not enough to make her huge though) so i really don't think we need proffessional help. :nono:

I didn't mean to suggest you're crazy - I meant professional help in terms of a dietician and perhaps a personal trainer, if you can afford one. What scared me was when you said "We have 7 months to get her stomach flat". Now, I realize that you are persuing this becasue your daughter is desperate and you're going along with it to make her feel better. But I don't think that should be your goal. She may have other anxieties (new school, new friends) that may be causing her to fixate on her weight. Those should be dealth with as well. There will always be something in your daughter's life that will cause her stress and anxiety and now is a great time to help her through one of these situations by letting her know that there are other things about her that are great and amazing and that body image is not the only means with which to identify yourself with.

That said, if her weight is a true medical problem, by all means, deal with it. I just know, from experience, how negative body image can cripple a woman when it comes to love, life and the pursuit of happiness. If your daughter cannot truely love herself, she will never be able to truely love another.

And, if you must know, I am the mother of an overweight 11 year old boy. He has three belly rolls when he sits, man-boobs and cellulite on his bum. We have found things in life that he really enjoys (hockey, basketball) and have given him every opportunity to participate in these sports. He has mentioned on occasion that he is upset with the "size" of his stomach (which breaks my heart). With that, we decided to start jogging together (I could lose a few pounds too) in the spring when the snow melts. We also found a public tennis court that my son suggested we also try.

I strongly suggest you take this opportunity to do something together with your daughter that involves exercise. Not only are you getting healthy together, you may find your relationship getting stronger. My son and I have the most amazing discussions when we're playing road hockey or basketball together.

Sorry to have offended you - it was not my intention.

No problem. :) She loves herself, weight just gets to her sometimes. She always is thinking to herself when she is doing a test "I can do good" , people in her school have learnt to accept what she looks like. She did go a bit over the top with a fitness video, one thing thats a problem though is that she likes indoor exercise , outside there are a group of boys , one in her year group, others older and they are such bullies! They are rude and swear all the time. She told me they were trying to steal her bike and saying they would put our house on fire if she didn't give the bike to them. :confused: She was crying a lot when they said this, she rushed in with her bike and i asked her why the bike wasn't in the shed. It was kind of hard to work out what she was saying since she was crying.. but she said " Bullies mum, they tried to steal my bike." I went to them and said "Why are you trying to steal her bike?" and the boy said. " Oh look! She called her mum! What you gonna do? Throw something at me? Haha! "...in maths, he is ALWAYS winding the teacher up. Not doing what she says and that. Anyway, back to my daughter. She refuses to go exercising outside, even with me. Those boys are fierce, rude and don't care about anybody's feelings. She is eating enough fruit and veg , i'm sure (since she loves to eat broccoli,watermelon and more) She just needs to exercise more, but she is scared stiff of those boys!

Help!!!

This is a whole different situation!! Yikes!! Here in Ontario (I'm not sure where you are), we have programs and policies in place within the school system to deal with bullies. I strongly suggest you talk to the school principal and get this dealt with. You should insist that the boys' parents are made aware of their threats and actions. Don't give up!!

There is a great book called "The Bully, The Bullied and the Bystander" by Barbara Coloroso. It may be a good start.

Its kind of hard because i'v seen their parents, they are exactly like them... they swear around kids, give no dicipline, and will go nuts and start defending their kids if you tell them that they are bullying other children. They will start teaming up and being nasty and stuff and i just don't want to get in a huge fight with them because it will cause my daughter stress and worries if i start fighting with a bunch of sumo-wrestler parents. One little thing bad about their kids..argument starts. Where they live is a place with mess and chaos. I'm kind of scared myself of their parents. Are there any exercises that she can do indoor that will give her the exercise that she needs to loose a little weight?

try calling socal services so they can actually check into this "homelife' of the children.Or call the police dept in your area and ask just what some options may be.it could all come down to actually placing some sort of a restarining order on these kids if your daughter is feeling THAT much of a threat from these kids and the parents are not doing anything to stop this from occuring.Just placing SOME liability on the parents for having to keep there kids in line or else,may finally get them off their dead a**es and do something,like actual parenting.But i would definitely ,at this point in time,as you have tried doing everything else to no avail,call the police and ask just what you can do right now just to keep your daughter from harm.they ARE really taking bullying much more seriously now a days than they used to.this really would be your best bet.At least they will become aware of the problem and be able to offer you some choices.good luck and please let us know how things are going.no child should have to fear just going outside of their home.these kids need a huge wake up call,as well as the parents.hang in there,marcia

Police will do something about it, but relatives will be so angry with me for making their kids get in trouble, One boy who was getting bullied had his parents call police, they told the parents off or something and then the parents kept banging on the door with guns telling them that they would f'ing kill them =\ in the end, they had to move, i don't want that to happen to me...i havn't got enough money to move , this is terrible. Will dancing give my child a good amount of exercise ? Or should she start doing push-ups as well.

Please help, i don't want to have anything to do with that boy or his parents.

Your situration sounds horrible! I think all parents live in fear of our children being bullied. My heart goes out to you. When I continued to read the posts, my first reaction was "MOVE"! However, seeing as that's not financially possible, I suggest you empower your daughter and yourself. Instead of trying to stop the bullying, I suggest you try and find ways to deal with the bullying. I recommended a book in a previous post by Barbara Coloroso that may help.

I suggest you go to your local library and find some great books or DVDs on exercising. You want to make sure you are doing the exercises properly so they'll work and to prevent injury. Any exercise that makes your daughter sweat and elevates her heart rate is good.

That boy - he thinks he is free to do whatever he wants, he likes to be annoying, he likes making other kids upset or angry.. he thinks he's "cool". This really worries my daughter, she is absoloutely TERRIFIED of dogs, thats another problem. The local park has lots of dogs running around so she refuses to go there. One thng is , her school is safe, she plays "it" and running games with her friend, altogether this is about 45 mins exercise in a day.

Another question, how come she is trying to teach my 3 year old twins basic math?! I'v told her to stop, but she gets mad and says that i should be happy because they are learning, i don't think 3 year olds should be learning math just yet. She gives them a small chocolate treat if they get something right, like 1+1...How do i make her stop this? :eek:

She was perfect when she was little, but then her fingers got a little chubby and her stomach was big, the rest of her is perfect, legs,face,arms and feet they are all fine its just her stomach and her hands (not so much the hands). Recently she has gotten very bothered about her weight and insists to wear a huge shirt or a cardigan to hide the stomach, she has a talent show at school and she thinks its holding her back from dancing and now she has gotten really bothered about it she says that she wont eat because it will get her thin and she refuses to eat much ,she stopped eating much yesterday and i don't know what to do ,people are picking on her at school now and i spoke to her teacher and everything. The doctor said give her more excersize and healthy food about a week ago, which i did, I really dont think she needs a diet because she isnt too overweight for one. She also has a dog phobia so she refuses sometimes to run outside because she is afraid a dog will come and bite her. Also she said she wanted to have a "nice flat stoamch" like all the other kids in her class. Her friends said she wasnt good at dancing so they dont want to be with her in a group which made her think more about her weight. This is scaring me because she isnt eating, also i want her to wear nice clothes (she usually goes round with huge shirts and looks bad) so please if anybody can help me, please do..

hi,

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Regards...