Hello All!!
I am a recovering addict. I have been in recovery 11 months 2 days. I have followed all the rules, taken all the advice, and taken the steps one at a time. I have changed my thinking, my friends, my clothes, my boyfriend (a few times), and my underwear! I have a slight dilemma. I am approaching my 21st birthday and the pressure is on. My new friends and some of my loyal ones have told me that they're throwing me a party. Generally I'd be thrilled. But my friend let me know in advance that there will be alcohol there. WHY CAN'T PEOPLE REALIZE ALCOHOL IS A DRUG?!? I want to go. But temptation's a bit*h. I know what I SHOULD do but I don't know what I'm GONNA do. A little advice can go a long way.
Thanks :wave:
Jen

If it is a party FOR YOU, can't you request of your friends that there not be any alcohol. I know that some peopel would be irritated by that, but if they can't understand your reasoning, then are they really good friends? And if people insist on drinking, mabye you should decide against having a party/party and just go out to a nice dinner somewhere?

Hey KangaKeyJMC, :wave:

You absolutely must tell them that if there is alcohol and/or drugs then you will NOT be there. If you truly have worked the steps then you know the drill. Why would you put your sobriety in jeopardy?

A young man in my home group turned 21 about a month ago. He shared that it was hard for him because he always had wanted to buy alcohol legally or go into a bar legally and drink. He is about 90 days clean. He shared in a meeting before his birthday about this issue. Having done this, others shared with him their same issues/struggles and how they handled it. Others talked to him after the meeting and as the time approached for his birthday. He did not drink, buy alcohol or go to a bar to celebrate being 21. He shared this information at a meeting a few weeks ago. He talked about how hard it was, but how happy and proud he was that he didn't give in.

Why would your friends put your sobriety in jeopardy? I can tell you my opinion. It's one of two things. 1. The one's who do drink/drug want you back with them and they don't care if it leads you back down the road to insanity. 2. The one's who don't drink/drug but who aren't involved in a 12 step or any other type recovery program, absolutely don't understand. No matter how much they want to be supportive, they just don't get it and probably never will unless they decide to attend open meetings or Alanon.

Be strong and do the next right thing for you. Put yourself and your sobriety first.

Thanks guys. I talked to my pals this afternoon and told them where I stand. I told them that I have done way too much to get to this point. I told them that I love them all but if they have ever cared about me they'll understand. My best friend and the one who's running the party agreed with me and said there'll be no alcohol or drugs. She told me how proud she is that I've made it this far and is attending her first NA meeting with me this weekend.
Thank You ALL
JMC

Yeah JMC!! :bouncing: :bouncing: :bouncing: :bouncing: :bouncing:

I'm so glad you were strong enough in your recovery to do the next right thing. Made ya feel great didn't it? Glad to hear about your friends response and that she's going to NA too.