I'll get right to the point...pardon the graphics..I'm actually really nervous (1st post)...
I had sex with an old friend of mine (who I've been very honest with about my HSV2 status) recently. I would not even have been 'open' to the idea of it if I had seen or felt ANYTHING going on. Not to be overly graphic, but we got a little too enthusiastic. Even though I told him to be careful about the condom, he told me right after that he wasn't. I guess we got a little TOO deep and the c wasn't covering everything. That's the impression I got anyway. I put him in the shower immediately after (sniff...not enough cuddling - ha) Since I wasn't seeing anything or feeling anything like a sore or anything I didn't worry all that much..

I wouldn't be worried so much now, but this morning, I thought maybe I was just sore from the activity - reeeally energetic, ravenous stuff - so I checked it out down there and i saw what looked like my skin had a little cut at the bottom of my vag/labia opening..you know.. the bottom of the outer part. If I didn't know I was HSV+, I would have just thought, "sh**, he ripped me! That was some crazy sex! wow" etc etc.. (it wouldn't surprise me considering some of the stuff he was doing) However, now I'm freaking out.. even if that is not a herpes sore, wouldn't that be VERY dangerous to him? I'm definitely not HIV or anything else..I know for sure. Plus - He**, I have been chaste for over 3yrs (since finding out I was HSV+).
Right now, the whole area is pink and normal - other than the healing small shallow skin cut-looking thing. Even that is pink.

What do you think the chances are that he's going to contract the virus ...considering the non-careful part of what we were doing wasn't long in duration and he cleaned up really soon after any exposure?

I'm PRAYING like crazy... not like we didn't both know the risks, but still... Da**. We've had sex a couple times before (3yrs ago) and he was fine, but I think we were more careful those times. I'm freaking here and I know that's not going to help.. All this worry now..and I can't even enjoy the afterglow. I hate HSV.. da**it. Its like you can't enjoy your sexlife anymore without SERIOUS guilt or worry. I don't want him to get it.

well...cuts or tears can occur due to dryness and streching with sex over a period of time and unless its bleeding accessively i dont think there should be a problem. i mean i dont think just because he touched your blood that it would cause genital warts.

Pardon...I am new to posting... Isn't HSV a shorter way to say herpes? I don't have the warts.. just the sores (when I do get them, that is).

My con-man ex husband gave me mine (isn't that lovely?).

Anyway- thanks for replying. I REALLY hope you're right.

I guess I did get a little dry (embarrassing)...it'd been a LONG time since I've been with anyone - you know? I waited too long to get any ky out. eeek and I'm old enough to know better...

yeah Hsv is Herpes symplex Virus :3 i wouldnt worry to much hon, stressing yourself esspecially after giving him fair warning isnt a good thing for your body or mind. Dont wrack yourself with guilt, unless he had a cut or something somewhere on him and was exposed to like a teaspoon of blood or something i dont think he could have contracted it esspecially after he washed well. :D As for not doing anything for a while, it just shows that you are a very nice person, not wanting to give your virus to others is kind of a sarcifice but its nice you've found someone and as long as your careful im sure you'll be fine. If it doesnt work out there are tons of other fish in the sea and hey one in every four has herpes too hehe

Sweetie just try and relax, I don't really think you gave it to him, I know it sucks and your all paranoid but he did know the risk involved. and your symptoms could be nothing. Have you told him about this? Are you close enough with him that you can talk to him about it? I wouldn't worry so much about it, relax and get yourself together and maybe have a talk with him. It's the best advice I can offer. :wave:

I would assume that you just got too carried away and not think that's herpes. It is not uncommon for rough sex to cause some irritation. Like you said, if you didn't know you had herpes, you'd never thought a thing about it, right?! It will probably just go right away! Your friend knows you have herpes! He does realize that a condom isn't 100% protection from herpes right?

HSV is short for herpes...I don't know where warts came into the mix here...HPV refers to genital warts. This lady has herpes, not genital warts.

Thanks for the supportive replies.

I just got the nerve to recheck myself...all healed from Friday. I never really got the feeling (or the feeling) that it was a torn herpes sore. I just worried that torn skin would easily spread the virus with direct contact which I think he probably had since he was in deep (past the end of the condom).

Anyway - If it had been a torn h sore, I'm sure I would have been in a lot more post sex pain... like when I urinated or something. You guys know how that feels when you pee and it runs over an open sore. OUCH. This never hurt. I was just pressure sensitive from the acrobatic sex.

I ALMOST called him to talk about it, but after much debating with myself, I reminded myself "yes, he did know the risks and we discussed being careful for several reasons". (HSV and pregnancy risks b/c I'm not on bcp's anymore) I didn't want to spoil NYEve with a scare about torn skin...but rest assured he will know about his pheramone (SP?) episiotomy trick. HA.

Hmmm.. I just hope now I don't wait another 3+ years to get involved. (that's a long story) To make things easier though, i hope my next boyfriend (a serious one, not like my friend-friend) already has hsv. Gosh, that'd make things easier, wouldnt it? Anyone know from experience here?

The exact same thing happened to me two nights ago and now I am freaking out, we used a condom but had no idea that it broke! And without getting too graphic we really went to town. I was also dry, condoms seem to do that to me. My bf used a new lubricant...major mistake, it was flavored and it totally burned and irritated me.

I ran to the bathroom after and I felt raw down there...I could not even stand the water on me, I was so sore. Anyway, I was irritated all day yesterday and today I feel like I have a herpes outbreak but there is nothing visible on my skin. I am praying it is from the combo of the irritating lubricant and the friction....but most of all I am praying I did not give my bf the virus.

I just cant deal with it! I live in fear of giving the virus, due to the skin to skin contact and now knowing the condom was broken when we finished has stressed me out beyond belief.

Now I am really worried myself, I have just noticed I have a tiny blister, very tiny but it is there, none the least. Does anyone know how long it takes to activate the herpes virus? I explained earlier that we used a condom, it broke, we had lots of sex, the lube irritated me and now 2 days later I see a sign of an ob. I pray that I did not give it to my guy, is it possible that it could activate on my skin during the sex ? Oh I hate this problem, I live in fear one way or the other, now another worry....2-21 days to see if my guy gets a breakout.

ohcanada...I hope that you didn't give your BF this stuff! But a condom isn't certain protection because of the way it's spread. I assume that after this condom broke, you had him wash up with soap and water right? Even if a condom doesn't break, I think it's a good precaution to have your partner...if at all possible...wash with soap after sex. Herpes is hard to understand, why is it that irritation makes some get an OB, I don't know but it does. Just like the sun or cold can make a person's cold sores (herpes 1) flare up! My BF alway just thought that the sore he got in his penis was from the friction of intercourse or masturbation but it was causing his herpes to flare up...that's all. Good luck for your BF, I hope he was lucky and didn't get any of the virus on him to transmit it to him. I think that the 2-21 days is about as certain as anything having to do with herpes....not very. I was exposed to herpes from my BF around Feb. but didn't have anything noticable on me until November. But after I was exposed to another lesion during intercourse, it broke out in just a couple days.

I hope I did not give it to my bf either, but how was I to know the condom was broke and that awful lube was going to irritate me....all at the same time???!!! I am on supressive Valtrex, and I hope that the tiny blister I got 48 hrs later was due to the friction and the lube and not the virus being present when we had sex. I hate this so much, it makes me feel non sexual, I am always terrified of viral shedding and skin to skin contact where condoms dont cover...I think that if I ever got a new guy it would definately have to be a guy with herpes, I cant take the worry and stress anymore.

Certainly being with a partner that's infected is far easier than the worry of infecting your non-infected partner.

Just realize that 1 in 4 people have herpes, there are a lot of folks that have it but they aren't advertising it. I was telling my BF just yesterday that I'd never tell anyone I know that I have it!!!!! Isn't that silly when most everyone has herpes on their mouths?! It's so funny(not haha funny) how we can't get "sex is dirty" out of our minds...why can't we all just quit acting like sex is shameful...silliness! It's frustrating! It's the lack of talking about it that's leading to it's speading like wildfire. I had never in my entire life heard that cold sores can give you genital herpes...now that's just crazy that I have never been told that! Ramble ramble ramble... :p

When I was in school we took sex ed and all the education was about HIV and the standard STDS, like ghonorrea. Herpes came up but I was definately under the impression that you had to have a visible sore to transmit the virus. I too had no clue about cold sores until I got herpes and spent the first 6 months on the internet trying to find out as much about this virus as possible.

It seems that the government, and the education/health care systems treat us like we are a dirty little secret! There is not much education on herpes and I dont blame the 1 in 4 for not saying they have it....I am ashamed I have it and dont tell many people. I have been in the company of ignorance when herpes jokes come up and I want to crawl under a rock! I have seen network tv shows who make jokes about herpes and how gross people who have it are. I think that is why it is a big secret.

I wish someone would do a campaign to bring it out more and explain to the public exactly how it can transmit...heck, who would have known about asymptomatic shedding? Not me until I became a herpe person myself.

Even the drug commercials like Valtrex dont portray it the way it is. Shame on them!