Im pretty pathetic if you ask me..Im gonna be turning 20 in a few months and I feel so sad to be losing my teens! This so cant be normal can it? Its not like im gonna be even old enough to drink yet, but I still feel like Im getting up there and I dont wanna lose my teens! Am I crazy or do people usually feel like this at this age? Im sure its not common I just dont wanna be 20, its not like I am a child but I dunno..I just know im getting close to that age where most people have kids and get married..its like around these next few years that people normally do it and I dont have any desire to have kids and get married, and I dont know what to think!

ummmm, well, ummmm, ehhhhhh....wait'll you hit fifty! :eek: :rolleyes:

Im pretty pathetic if you ask me..Im gonna be turning 20 in a few months and I feel so sad to be losing my teens! This so cant be normal can it? Its not like im gonna be even old enough to drink yet, but I still feel like Im getting up there and I dont wanna lose my teens! Am I crazy or do people usually feel like this at this age? Im sure its not common I just dont wanna be 20, its not like I am a child but I dunno..I just know im getting close to that age where most people have kids and get married..its like around these next few years that people normally do it and I dont have any desire to have kids and get married, and I dont know what to think!

I'm 22 and I feel like I'm getting "up there". I think it's a normal thing--my friends (all around my age) joke about it constantly. :jester: I think part of it has to do with this country's obssession with age and age-defying products. :rolleyes: I mean, I hate it when people who hit 40 say they're ancient. We're still really young yet, I wouldn't worry about it too much. :)

I just turned 39 this year, but I won't give you a hard time for worrying about being 20, I did that too.

Enjoy your 20s. Don't worry about getting married. If I were you, don't even get married until your late 20s or 30s. I was 35 when I got married, best decision of my life. I look back at my 20s and I know I had a blast, learned a lot, and thats when I did my growing up. (Actually, I still don't feel like a grown-up).

Also, WEAR SUNSCREEN!! I wish someone had told me that when I was your age.

Get a good job, save your money, buy a house. Do all this early so you don't have to worry too much later.

Most of all, have fun!! It will go by so fast, trust me!!

I married at 32 and I wish it happened earlier somewhere in 20th after college. First of all with every year after 30 you have less chances to have a baby and bigger chance to have unhealthy baby. Energy level 20+ and 30+ is very different. I don't suggest you to marry wrong person just to get married, but if you have a chance don't wait.
Right now I am 40y old with 3y old. I wish to give her a sibling but I feel phisically and financially overwhelmed. If she's be older and I don't have to pay for 2 daycares it would be different.

I'm going to be 23 in a few months.
I felt like I went through my midlife crisis at 20.
Growing up I had all these expectations... I thought I would have my career a few years after graduating and be married by 23. Well, I was no where near that. And now that I am almost 23 I am still not anywhere near that :S I have an okay job and money saved but it is not my career. I will hopefully be going back to school this year. I have a bf who I have no future with, But I am enjoying myself!! I am no longer going to plan my life and just enjoy it and see where it takes me.

I am 24 and worry too much about things - including getting older! Like you I questioned my age when I turned 20. I often had the feeling that time was passing me by and I was missing out on something. I just want to say DON'T THINK ABOUT IT. What is the point, it is inevitable. Don't waste one second, just get on with life and enjoy it. You will only look back and wish that you hadn't let it bother you.

x

Most people do not get married shortly after they hit 20. And many people, such as my brother, are 30 and still unmarried. Look at it this way, you're getting to the point where you have the freedom to do whatever you want, and nobody can stop you. That's the pleasure of getting older in this stage of life!

Shoot, I cried and had a mini breakdown when I lost my last baby tooth when I was a kid because I thought it meant I had to "start paying taxes and being an adult" haha. It seems dire now, but you'll look back on turning 20 later on and think it was cute.

I actually enjoyed turning 20. It's the stage in life where everybody normally likes getting older. However, for many 30 is a magic number where they feel their life going downhill. This doesn't have to be the case, I think it's all how you choose to shape your attitude. I would hope I'd feel the same as I do now when I turn 30 (that's in just 5 years), but I definitely wouldn't want to be called old by some college kid at that time. I know it's relative, but when you call somebody old, apparently that's not nice, and when you call somebody young, it appears as if your condescending to that person as if they're inferior, which is also not nice. So instead of saying "you're young" or "you're old," I simply say "you're younger than me" or "you're older than me."

I guess at 25 that holds true that saying old is rude and young makes you seem inferior. At 39, I'll take young anyday!!! :)

I married at 32 and I wish it happened earlier somewhere in 20th after college. First of all with every year after 30 you have less chances to have a baby and bigger chance to have unhealthy baby. Energy level 20+ and 30+ is very different. I don't suggest you to marry wrong person just to get married, but if you have a chance don't wait.
Right now I am 40y old with 3y old. I wish to give her a sibling but I feel phisically and financially overwhelmed. If she's be older and I don't have to pay for 2 daycares it would be different.


Galin,

Good post.
I am a soon to be 50 year old male and married at 22. I had a son at the age of 24 who died shortly after birth and a daughter at the age of 25. I then had another son at the age of 32.
Interesting thing though. Back in the 70's when I graduated there was this "dogma" that went around that basically said..." Why have kids? What kind of world will they come up in? The world is overpopulated anyway" or "I want to wait until I have enough money, a house and so forth". The whole dogma of the 70's just seemed so rooted in lies as I look back.

You are fortunate to have a child in your early 40's. Yes I know it would have been better at a younger age but at least you have one. But yes, as we age it can get quite hard to run after these small ones like this. That is the problem with having them later. But don't worry to much, they do grow up fast. :)


To all you who think your getting old. Sit back and take a DEEP breath. You are not old. For that matter I loved my 30's. We were all raising our families then and it was alot of fun having others over for dinner, watching football, discussing our future and so forth. When I got in my 40's things slowed down but I still like it. 50's? Haven't been there yet :D
But 20's can be challenging especially when you see your friends getting married. I felt this earlier and I thought the world was passing me by. I sometimes felt very lonely. I think it is just part of growing up. Perhaps there is a God given biological component to it that forces us to marry and procreate? Yes, I think there might be.

Enjoy your life. I do. My faith in a higher power is a big help to me. Occassionally someone still calls me a young man...of course they are usually 60+ but we'll take what we get. :D :D

Here is the secret of staying young. Commit yourself to becoming a "lifelong learner". Never give up on learning. It keeps the mind young and pliable. To me, life is just beginning even with an ache here or there. For that matter I plan on inventing something..as I constantly dream about things.


Stay young ! :)

Hi! I am new and this is my first post here, I know this is kind of an old post but I just had to tell you that I feel the exact same way and I totally sympathize with you!

I just turned 20 about a month ago and I freaked out. Actually, I still am freaking out. I think about my "teen" years a lot and it really bugs me to think that I am growing up and becoming an adult. Even though I am not old enough to drink, I feel a lot older and more responsible and it doesn't help that most of my friends are people at work who are in their 40's and higher and are Mom's and Grandma's, don't get me wrong I love these people but since I hang around them often I say things and do things that a normal 20 year old probably wouldn't say or do. When I had my birthday, everyone at the office asked me how old I was turning, and I said 20 in a little voice, cause to me that was the number that erased teen from my age and I didn't like that, they all laughed at me and said your still a baby! To them I am, and I guess I am too compared to them because most of them have accomplished great things in their lives and have grandchildren and so forth. But that made me feel better to know that to them I am still a "baby".

As for my friends, most of them moved away to college and I am stuck here in my home town not really doing much just working with people who are a lot older than me. I really think though that if you have friends who are the same age as you, it won't be that bad because you guys can all experience this together.

It is a lonely time right now, especially when I can't experience being 20 with all my close friends. It's definately weird and strange and I feel so- I don't know scared sometimes...I just ran into someone I haven't seen since middle school and she is married now and very very pregnant, she looked like she was about to pop! When I saw her, I just thought wow, look at us now I mean I really didn't know what to say except hi, you're pregnant...and you got married...thats great. Yeah I was speechless and that was a few days ago.

I definatley have been looking back at highschool and saying to myself yeah those were the days but really, this is all the beginning. We have so much ahead of ourselves and so much to look forward to that dwelling on getting old is really a waste of time and we should appreciate what we have now and look ahead to our future. I still am in shock of not being a teenager anymore but that's life and thats what we do...we grow.

Oh and great post Stumper, I really agree with you that we should all just sit back and enjoy life, and not worry so much about growing old.

Sorry this post was so long! But now you know that you are not alone and a lot of people feel the same way you do.

Thats completly normal is that. Me and my mates all go through that every time we have a birthday. We're 25 now or approaching it and we still dread birthdays. We've each seemed to dread a different one..Some dreaded 20, others 22 and some 23 or 25. For me the worst was 24, no longer early 20's. I didn't seem to mind 25 though. :)

I am 27 and for some reason absoulely DREADING turning 28 this year (not until August but still.....). I can remember thinking that 40 was old but now my parents are in their 50's and don't seem all that old to me now.

I married two months after my 19th birthday, had my first child two days after my 20th birthday, have been married for 8 years (9 in October), am having my 5th child in April and am the happiest I've ever been. It hasn't always been easy but I wouldn't trade it for anything and don't feel like I am or have missed out on a single thing. Yet for some reason the closer I get to 30 the more freaked out I get. :eek:

I guess everyone is just different. :)

Oh my gosh, I thought I was the only one who went through this phase!

I understand how you feel. I felt that way too for a brief time when I turned 25 (quarter of a century), 30 ( no longer in my 20s), 40 ( no longer in my 30s). But you know what I'd discovered and I wish someone gave me the advice I'm about to give you... I've discovered that my journey in each decade made me a wiser, more confident, stronger, kinder, courages woman!

Enjoy each day and live it to its full potential in your 20s, 30s, 40s and beyond! Don't allow society to dictate your life. This is your life and you have the power to live it any way your want. And you're a great young woman and don't you forget it!

:D

.

I can totally understand you... I think that it's because you are having a transition from your teens and all the people you were with at school and friends that are now going their own way... and you feel old and alone. For me it passed.

I am now 41 years old and I can tell you that most people think that being in your 20's is great, but it can be a confussing time with lots of changes. You have a happy life ahead. When you get in your 30's you're more sure of your self (at least for me) and have an idea of what you want. Don't knock yourself... you'll find your self in this new time of being 20 something... it's an adventure and a time to grow. The sadness you feel is missing your teens and the life you knew before. But a great life is ahead of you. This is a stepping stone. Smile, you have so much to experience as you make a new life for yourself.

I sympathize with you! With me, I felt this way at every age since I turned 16. Instead of being happy I felt like I was "too old" (for me). Now I look back and I don't know why I felt that way. I would give anything to be 16 again. Heck, I'd give anything to be 20 again! lol. I just turned 23 and I know I'm no longer in my teens, but I'm not that old either (I guess). I'm still a youth I think up to age 25. One day I'll think 23 is young lol. I've just learned to enjoy every age as it comes because it goes by so fast. So make the best of it :) and be thankful that you made it to that age because so many don't. Most importantly I'm a kid at heart, love to laugh and have a good time. I think that's the key to feeling young and being happy with yourself.

hope I helped,
Kaylea

Thank you all for the posts its great to know Im not alone. The birthday is coming up this month and Im not as worried about being 20 as I was before.

Good for you. To be honest when I was in my early teens I dreaded being 21....as I couldnt believe I'd live past that and didnt really want to...considering wrinkles and all. But by then, I was madly inlove with a guy who became my hubby after 3 years defacto....and I was more interested in wining, dining, dancing, work politics, going on holidays...then the wedding, the intrigue of buying a house of our own and then having our very own children! WOW.....by age 30...I'd had 2 kids and still had a wonderfully interesting hubby who all loved me dearly. Why on earth would I want to quit living when I had so much....even if mommahood had whacked more than a few kilos on me.

By age 36.....I still loved my stuff/family but it was wearing thin, a little boredom crept in, I hadnt lost me (the original pre-hubby me)...I just met someone else and fell madly inlove. Told hubby, he suicided...so we were all forced to deal with that and it shook our very foundations. Lost the new BF...went celebate for years, met another guy who was so wrong for me (and the relationship ended) but I had another beautiful daughter at age 43........

What I'm getting at is this.....life is all about change and people, most-times good, sometimes really bad. Wrinkles have *****all to do with LIFE. Looking in the mirror is handy for plucking hairs or shaving BUT what goes on in your mind/life is seen BY YOURSELF through your own eyes. Can you honestly say that you'd give up one day, just for a few wrinkles, when you could see the sun-rise or set, plant a tree and watch it grow, hear the laughter of a baby you made with someone you love, recieve a hug from one of your parents. If it were never there sure you'd not miss it...but all that is there or could be.

That is why people with disabilities survive. Lose an arm, a leg, 2 legs, your face, get burned in a fire with horrendous scarring, live 115 years (most of that as old prunes) and still smile sometimes.....its because LIFE isnt about skin, its the mind/soul beneath all that. Watch Loguns Run...the old movie...perhaps then you'll get why people change as they age. Its never a good time to die...because we all want more moments....more time.

I see things develop, new buildings, more gadgets, music and my decd hubby will never know those things...and I so wish he could have. I know in 100 years more stuff will happen and I wish I could see that too....maybe my offspring and theirs will....I hope so.

I'm 19 too, so obviously I'll be 20.
When I was 18, I dreaded 20 - at 19, I can't wait. A number is not what makes you old at all. To me, it's all a state of mind. If I feel so y oung at 19, I'll feel young at 20. Now I know how my mom who is 46, not old, but older than 20 still says she feels young. 20 is so incredibly young, but age always seems so much more drastic when you're a kid. I can't wait to start a new phase in my life.

The 20 thing I admit, did bother me on my 19th birthday when I had 19 candles and one for good luck. lol I was like uh...20 candles, how insane. I don't feel like I'll be 20 =)

WOW! ;) I muat not be the norm, I was excited about turning 16, had a sweet sixteen party. Enjoyed it, then looked forward to 18, :bouncing: freedom, finsihed high school, then looked forward to 21 to go dancing with my older friend at the clubs. By then I had a beautiful baby girl at 20 (she is 30 now) 25 had a hadsome son (25). I am now 50, yep looked forward to that. My one thing in life that has been my greatest hang up, that is I have worn dentures since I was about 14, and now at 50 I have become very consious (sp) of it. So I take special care in looking good. I dress like a diva, clothes are always in style, always have my makeup on right and I am completely gray, but I wear awesome wigs, I FEEL YOUNG. I am often asked by my Mom, Do you think you are a teenager? I love looking young, if you feel old then you will act old. I think the way you dress is a big part in how young you look. Women, get a new hair color and style. Just because you are 50 does not mean you wear baggy jeans, or stop wearing 3 inch heels, pants with elastic in the waist, grandma dresses. I work out at Curves 5 to 6 days a week and do water aerobic. I refuse to look old if you think 50 is old. I wear fitting jeans, 3 inch heels, I am a fashion Diva. If you do not know how to apply your makeup go to the mall makeup counter, do not know how to dress, take a friend that know how to dress to help you. JEANS are a woman's best friend, boot cut. Birthdays are only a number. If I can live to be 75 and look 60 then so be it. I cannot wait to get senior discounts. :bouncing: You are young and enjoy your life, plan it so that when you reach a certain age you can relax and not worry about what your tomorrow will be like. Look at Oprah, she only got better with age and RICHER

I'm 24 and when I turned this age in January I started thinking "Wow, I'm getting old!" But then I talk to my friends who are several years older than me, and I think our 20's and 30's should be considered the best times of our lives.
Dont worry about turning 20. Its no big deal. Losing those teen years is nothing to fret over. You have several years ahead of you, so make the most out of life. :)