i hate everyone. nobody likes me.
everyone at my school has plans tonight except me, this world stinks.

Yeah weekends are the worst you are right.

You are lucky though you have Star Trek, The Next Generation, Deep Space 9, and Voyager. I just had the first two. Pretty sad huh.

I used to do homework all weekend.

Or drive home and waist my life donating my time for a very ungrateful father.
I guess you could call that charity work?

How is the campus?

I use to just walk around sometimes and explore all the labs and buildings. And of course the library. I spent a lot of time there. I would read paperback books to, ‘The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy’ that is a pretty funny series, and of course ‘Catcher In The Rye’ you got to read that in College. How about romance novels are you into those; they can be a distracting.

I love to escape into a fantasy world because as you say this world stinks.
Are you into video games or music? I was not.

If I get tired of ‘fantasy’ friends I usually just sleep.

The more I think about it I want to go back to college at least the cops did not beat me up there. They were reasonable

Well good luck friend


[This message has been edited by ffsmith (edited 09-14-2002).]

i hate being in college, i mean i like it but its horrible to be all alone. I talk to everyone, but i can make any friends. i dont know what to do.

You definitely have a good idea of what you want. Namely friends.
And it sounds like you are trying very hard and for quite a while.
And it sounds like you are very frustrated.

I can relate to all that. And I feel bad for you.

I do not know what the answer is, but I do know that hating the world is not going to help.

I know that walking around thinking I am ugly does not help me one bit.

The world is never going to be the way I want it, that makes me sad but it is out of my control.

Being alone can be very horrible, but it can be ok and fun to. For me I am so tense around people that being alone is at least a relief. You can do some things that are fun alone, use you imagination.

But if I dwell on how alone I am things can seem sad an hopeless like they probably do for you. So I try and distract myself.

I know you have tried therapy, but I would keep trying it. And up the dose on the Zoloft

Hiya!
I was really worried about you as I read some of your older posts.
(For the others here that know me I'm sorry I haven't been around but since coming back from my little holiday I got really down again, partly 'cos of having to come back to my "normal" life and partly because of the holiday itself, and I felt a bit daft posting again 'cos I was Mrs Positive and I didn't feel that way anymore and I was sure you were all getting sick of my positive attitude)
Anyway Sue, Nice to meet you! I did send a message to your icq number but you probably didn't get it.
I want you to know that I feel the same way you do and I even said to my cousellor that if I was good looking my life wouldn't be this bad because I would have had more chances and met someone and got married years ago etc..etc...instead of living in the craphole I do now!
If I'd have liked myself more I would have set my standards higher and not settled for whoever came along and wanted me! But I never thought I was worth it!
I don't really know what I'm trying to tell you here maybe that I do know how you feel, I have one real life friend so I know what you mean when you say you have no friends. I know you want real life friends but believe me the people here on this board are real life friends we may not go to the movies or out for a drink together but they are friends all the same. (Thats why I feel so bad for just dissapearing on them when things went downhill for me again ( I'm Sorry Guys http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/frown.gif )

I was worried about you I even posted a message asking about you!
Take care xxxx

Margy

I bet I'm the ugliest!! :-P

[ ~~ MargyP, it is not permissable to post personal contact detail. ~~ Thanks, Minerva ]

[This message has been edited by minerva (edited 09-16-2002).]

I can't really offer any solutions to your problem, but I remember when I was in college, I never had any friends either. I lived in the dorm one year and I had to go eat in the cafeteria by myself when everyone else was eating with their friends all the time, it was completely humiliating. And my roommate had a ton of friends who would always come by the room, and I had none. I never went to parties, football games, or school functions. Most of the time I would drive home to my parents house to escape the pain of sitting in my dorm room all weekend alone. Anyway, the only thing I can offer you is, you are not alone in this, other people have and are going through the same things as you. I still only have 1-2 friends,and the loneliness gets to me too. Just hang in there and focus on your education, it will be over sooner than you think!

Dear Changing,
When I was in school I felt the same way sometimes....
that is when I wasn't drinking.
At least you know what is wrong. That might not seem like much help, but if I had known what I know now about depression and anxiety as an illness, then I would have known that the illness is what is bad, not the world. My perceptions were the problem - again, not the world or other people, etc.
I hope you feel better soon... http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif
jf

i dont like to go visit college much anymore .. the people arent as freindly

everyone is nervous there may be a world war i guess

how are you now?