pinkie1
01-11-2006, 07:51 PM
There is a guy I went to high school with (15 some years ago) and we never dated but he knew I liked him. I'd consider him my first love.
These days I can't get him off my mind. I'm trying to get in contact with him just to say hi. I don't want an intimate realtionship (I'm married for 8+ years) and I think he's married too. But, I have this drive inside me to search the internet for any info about him. I do have his address but don't want him to know I looked it up on the internet.
He was a great guy and fun to be with, although we did have a sort-of falling out before we parted ways some 11 years ago. He did write me about 9 years ago and asked to please stay in touch. I didn't really.
He is the only one I've met who's chemistry really clicked with mine. Even my husband doesn't come close to it. The last time I saw him at our reunion about 4 years ago I kind of brushed him off b/c I was still upset with him.
Am I taking this alittle too far? Should I get over it and move on? Would this be considered obsession?
I think if I did contact him, he would be pleastanly surprised, but I don't want to risk being called a wierdo or a stalker. I don't think I am? Just want to say hi, and keep in touch. Is there anything wrong with that?
These days I can't get him off my mind. I'm trying to get in contact with him just to say hi. I don't want an intimate realtionship (I'm married for 8+ years) and I think he's married too. But, I have this drive inside me to search the internet for any info about him. I do have his address but don't want him to know I looked it up on the internet.
He was a great guy and fun to be with, although we did have a sort-of falling out before we parted ways some 11 years ago. He did write me about 9 years ago and asked to please stay in touch. I didn't really.
He is the only one I've met who's chemistry really clicked with mine. Even my husband doesn't come close to it. The last time I saw him at our reunion about 4 years ago I kind of brushed him off b/c I was still upset with him.
Am I taking this alittle too far? Should I get over it and move on? Would this be considered obsession?
I think if I did contact him, he would be pleastanly surprised, but I don't want to risk being called a wierdo or a stalker. I don't think I am? Just want to say hi, and keep in touch. Is there anything wrong with that?
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frosty4
01-13-2006, 10:35 AM
My advice would be to try not to think about him or contact him because you are married. I would recommend keeping busy! Just my advice! As far as it being and obsession- if you have anxiety because you are thinking about it so much then it may be. Try to distact yourself from the obsession but dont push it away if that makes any sense. If you ignore it instead of attending to it, then it should go away.
idared04
01-13-2006, 09:23 PM
I dont know if you would call it obsession, but the reason you maybe thinking of this person so much is because of a guilty conscience. Maybe you feel bad for not keeping in touch 9 years ago or talking at your high school reunion. If you do decide to contact him, tell him about your family and how things have been! If you guys were just friends in high school then you guys will be just friends now! If he lives in the same city or town as you, you may even eventually want to introduce your husband to him. Who knows he might even have a wife for you to meet too!
pinkie1
01-14-2006, 01:45 AM
Thanks for the input.
Yes, we were just friends, but the reason we had this falling out was b/c he said he wanted a realationship with me. He was tired of playing the field. He said he wanted to go slowly b/c he wanted this to work out. All his relationships ended after a few months. After this encounter, I didn't hear from him for nearly 2 weeks. I asked him what was up and he confessed that he didn't mean what he said. During those 2 weeks, I think he either met another gal or he talked with his parents and they said no. He did tell me (when he told me he wanted a relationship )that his mother told him "stick with your own kind!" We're not of the same race.
He did meet my husband at our reunion. I was actually invited to his wedding some 10 years ago. (very close friends and family were invited. Our mutual friend wasn't invited. I was very honored that he thought our friendship was that close) I didn't go b/c it hurt me so much that he loved someone else and was marring her and not me.
My husband knows that I loved him and about this falling out. But doesn't know that I've been thinking about him these days. I feel so bad. I feel like I'm cheating on DH, I would kill myself first before I do anything like that.
I guess I just want to clear things up, even though it'll be about 11 years late. I want him to know I bear no hard feeling towards him (anymore) and I wish him the best. I would love to hear about what he's been up to. I'm not a home-wrecker, in fact I found out he just had a baby. I want to celebrate with him. We live in neighboring towns, so it's not likely we'll bump into each other.
I guess my question would be, do you think 2 people of the opposite sex could remain friends, even though we're both married? I guess it would be the spouse's decision.
Any input would be appreciated. Even if it's "Get over it! Move on! " :)
Yes, we were just friends, but the reason we had this falling out was b/c he said he wanted a realationship with me. He was tired of playing the field. He said he wanted to go slowly b/c he wanted this to work out. All his relationships ended after a few months. After this encounter, I didn't hear from him for nearly 2 weeks. I asked him what was up and he confessed that he didn't mean what he said. During those 2 weeks, I think he either met another gal or he talked with his parents and they said no. He did tell me (when he told me he wanted a relationship )that his mother told him "stick with your own kind!" We're not of the same race.
He did meet my husband at our reunion. I was actually invited to his wedding some 10 years ago. (very close friends and family were invited. Our mutual friend wasn't invited. I was very honored that he thought our friendship was that close) I didn't go b/c it hurt me so much that he loved someone else and was marring her and not me.
My husband knows that I loved him and about this falling out. But doesn't know that I've been thinking about him these days. I feel so bad. I feel like I'm cheating on DH, I would kill myself first before I do anything like that.
I guess I just want to clear things up, even though it'll be about 11 years late. I want him to know I bear no hard feeling towards him (anymore) and I wish him the best. I would love to hear about what he's been up to. I'm not a home-wrecker, in fact I found out he just had a baby. I want to celebrate with him. We live in neighboring towns, so it's not likely we'll bump into each other.
I guess my question would be, do you think 2 people of the opposite sex could remain friends, even though we're both married? I guess it would be the spouse's decision.
Any input would be appreciated. Even if it's "Get over it! Move on! " :)