Vansen
01-15-2006, 02:08 AM
I have a problem of self-awareness while trying to get to sleep, where i become aware of my breathing[controlling it, either exhaling too much or too little], of the saliva in my mouth[swallowing the secretions], and of my consciousness[monitoring it]. As soon as i begin to drift off to sleep i am suddenly alerted by my self-awareness that i have slackened off and become restful. This is FAR from a small problem! It's all i think about in my daily life, always anxious and always dead tired because of it. It's the most awful, overwhelming, and inescapeable feeling when you're dead tired but can almost NEVER SLEEP because you are suffering with a MADNESS like this. I am kept up days upon days at a time because of this awful condition, even recently hospitalized in ICU because of it. Obviously, i only very rarely progress beyond stage 1 of sleep. The medicine i have been prescribed isn't helping a bit. Anyone know whether this dreadful thing i suffer with is OCD, or even related to it? Is there hope at all?
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frosty4
01-15-2006, 10:07 AM
HI- I can somewhat relate- I am hyperaware of my body which interferes with sleep sometimes- It could be ocd. I would recommend talking to a doctor- in the meantime try to distract yourself and ignore the awareness. Dont push it away, just refocus. I try to meditate (focus on word when inhale and exhale) and picture a pretty scene. You will be OK- There is hope and I understand.
Amanda
Amanda
Vansen
01-15-2006, 03:44 PM
Hi, frosty4,
Thanks for the advice and i will try it soon. Anyway, seeing to a doctor or visting a hostpital is of no use really because i've gone more times than i can count and still have not gotten a straight answer about what exactly my condition is or how i can control. I take Zyprexa antipsychotic meds which only make me hungry and cause me to gain weight, not help with the disorder. I appreciate the response. Thanks Again.
Thanks for the advice and i will try it soon. Anyway, seeing to a doctor or visting a hostpital is of no use really because i've gone more times than i can count and still have not gotten a straight answer about what exactly my condition is or how i can control. I take Zyprexa antipsychotic meds which only make me hungry and cause me to gain weight, not help with the disorder. I appreciate the response. Thanks Again.
simplyj
01-15-2006, 10:36 PM
Hi Vansen,
I'm not sure if what you're experiencing is OCD or not but I've had similar problems in the past (although not as severe as you've described) falling asleep. I call it "mind chatter". I'm not focused on being self aware but my mind wants to constantly be thinking about thinking and so I've stayed up entire nights. What I learned to do was to use imagery to lull myself into sleep. For instance, I created an imaginery house that is huge and has lots o f rooms with beautiful furniture etc. When I have trouble sleeping because my mind wants to focus on OCD stuff, I think of the beautiful house and go through each room creating details like curtains, furniture, rugs etc. I keep my mind occupied until I finally fall asleep. It may sound completely stupid but it does work for me. I sometimes think about gardens too. My point is, think of something creative you like to do, if it's music, think of some lyrics, if it's painting, paint a mural. We all have some part of us that is creative. Think of what you have that is creative and create a mindscape of it. If your a guy, maybe you like motorcycles, so build the Harley of your dreams piece by piece. You can actually use the self awareness to help you in your mindscape. For example, you mentioned you're aware of your breathing so in your mindscape, you could be riding a bike cross country, create the scenery and when your mind goes back to being aware of the breathing, it becomes part of the exercise so your not fighting it. What you resist... persists so it's not about making yourself not think about yourself, it's about including other things into your thought process and creating a comfortable place in your mind to go to when the self awareness interferes with your sleep. I hope this suggestion helps. By the way...there is ALWAYS hope so hang in there as best as you can until things get better because they eventually will.
All the best,
simplyj
I'm not sure if what you're experiencing is OCD or not but I've had similar problems in the past (although not as severe as you've described) falling asleep. I call it "mind chatter". I'm not focused on being self aware but my mind wants to constantly be thinking about thinking and so I've stayed up entire nights. What I learned to do was to use imagery to lull myself into sleep. For instance, I created an imaginery house that is huge and has lots o f rooms with beautiful furniture etc. When I have trouble sleeping because my mind wants to focus on OCD stuff, I think of the beautiful house and go through each room creating details like curtains, furniture, rugs etc. I keep my mind occupied until I finally fall asleep. It may sound completely stupid but it does work for me. I sometimes think about gardens too. My point is, think of something creative you like to do, if it's music, think of some lyrics, if it's painting, paint a mural. We all have some part of us that is creative. Think of what you have that is creative and create a mindscape of it. If your a guy, maybe you like motorcycles, so build the Harley of your dreams piece by piece. You can actually use the self awareness to help you in your mindscape. For example, you mentioned you're aware of your breathing so in your mindscape, you could be riding a bike cross country, create the scenery and when your mind goes back to being aware of the breathing, it becomes part of the exercise so your not fighting it. What you resist... persists so it's not about making yourself not think about yourself, it's about including other things into your thought process and creating a comfortable place in your mind to go to when the self awareness interferes with your sleep. I hope this suggestion helps. By the way...there is ALWAYS hope so hang in there as best as you can until things get better because they eventually will.
All the best,
simplyj
Vansen
01-15-2006, 11:56 PM
Hello, simplyj
Thank you for your suggestion and posting. The trouble is, my mind usually becomes so stubbournly locked into this *madness* that there is sincerely nothing that'll work. I think i may have an underlying fear of drifting off to sleep which makes everything all the worse. I'm also an almost incessant sufferer of acute anxiety)_: Thanks again for your imput (-:
Thank you for your suggestion and posting. The trouble is, my mind usually becomes so stubbournly locked into this *madness* that there is sincerely nothing that'll work. I think i may have an underlying fear of drifting off to sleep which makes everything all the worse. I'm also an almost incessant sufferer of acute anxiety)_: Thanks again for your imput (-:
iyami
01-16-2006, 01:57 AM
that sounds more like an anxiety disorder than OCD, but they usually go hand in hand, so i couldnt say for sure (i have both) ive had serious health problems because of this too, i just have to cetch myself, and blank out, if i stop thinking in words, and try not to focus on any images either, can fall asleep.. its Very har to do at first, but it gets easier over time, there are also meds you could take.. if i dont start to get healthier soon im starting on some herbal meds, myself.
also, here are some little things i do to help myself sleep:
i sleep with my tv on, i always have to have something on, just lowd enough to drown out as much of those tiny little noises as possible, if i hear the tiny noises i start freaking out, im not just self-aware, im very aware of my surroundings.
i havent has as much f a problem faling asleep recently, the selfawareness thing is dulled by leaving my TV on lowder, lowd enough to hear clearly whats going on, then im thinking about the show untill im asleep.
i make sure to lay in a way that i can not hear my own heartbeat, or least the sound is as sulled as possible, hearing my own heartbeat makes it impossible for me to sleep, i cant stand it.
i make sure i blow my nose very well before laying down, or atleats before getting siturated, too, it helps with the breathing thing, my TV wont distract me form my own breathing if i dont blow my nose first.
i also get obsessive about how my eyes are positioned after i close them, like if tehrye looking to far down or up it hurts, so i pull my covers over my head and eyes, like a hood, and pull it around hen so its tight, it keeps my eyes closed and it also blocks all of teh light form my TV and window. if i pull it strait ove rmy head it covers my mouth and nose too, and then i worry about my breathing more, which is why i use it like a hood instaid.
i also wear very comfertable cloths, that cover my whole body (long sleaves, long pants, but very thin and soft fabric.) becuase i also dont like the idea of my skin touching, like my legs thing together if i curl up, and i have naturally dry skin so i always cover up incase it gets irriatted, it helsp sooth the irritation if tehres a soft fabric over it, and if its irriated more than a little it often gets red-ish in spots, and i hate when poeple think i have a rash or something and freak out, so i just dont show any skin, it feels natural to me to cover it all up.
i also keep my door closed, to dorwn out sounds form outside my room, and it amkes me feel mroe seccure to have it closed, but my brother (who has mild OCD) has his door open all the time, he never closes it, not even to go to the bathrom (ew, atleats he only leaves it cracked then) becuase he feels better being near or in easier access to other people (i prefer solitude, but im more self-reliant, less social, and older, than he is, though) so the door thing should help too, whether you prefer it open or closed.
also, here are some little things i do to help myself sleep:
i sleep with my tv on, i always have to have something on, just lowd enough to drown out as much of those tiny little noises as possible, if i hear the tiny noises i start freaking out, im not just self-aware, im very aware of my surroundings.
i havent has as much f a problem faling asleep recently, the selfawareness thing is dulled by leaving my TV on lowder, lowd enough to hear clearly whats going on, then im thinking about the show untill im asleep.
i make sure to lay in a way that i can not hear my own heartbeat, or least the sound is as sulled as possible, hearing my own heartbeat makes it impossible for me to sleep, i cant stand it.
i make sure i blow my nose very well before laying down, or atleats before getting siturated, too, it helps with the breathing thing, my TV wont distract me form my own breathing if i dont blow my nose first.
i also get obsessive about how my eyes are positioned after i close them, like if tehrye looking to far down or up it hurts, so i pull my covers over my head and eyes, like a hood, and pull it around hen so its tight, it keeps my eyes closed and it also blocks all of teh light form my TV and window. if i pull it strait ove rmy head it covers my mouth and nose too, and then i worry about my breathing more, which is why i use it like a hood instaid.
i also wear very comfertable cloths, that cover my whole body (long sleaves, long pants, but very thin and soft fabric.) becuase i also dont like the idea of my skin touching, like my legs thing together if i curl up, and i have naturally dry skin so i always cover up incase it gets irriatted, it helsp sooth the irritation if tehres a soft fabric over it, and if its irriated more than a little it often gets red-ish in spots, and i hate when poeple think i have a rash or something and freak out, so i just dont show any skin, it feels natural to me to cover it all up.
i also keep my door closed, to dorwn out sounds form outside my room, and it amkes me feel mroe seccure to have it closed, but my brother (who has mild OCD) has his door open all the time, he never closes it, not even to go to the bathrom (ew, atleats he only leaves it cracked then) becuase he feels better being near or in easier access to other people (i prefer solitude, but im more self-reliant, less social, and older, than he is, though) so the door thing should help too, whether you prefer it open or closed.
jules1
01-16-2006, 03:06 PM
I would try Xanax. It will help ease your anxiety, and therefore help you sleep. I have a problem falling asleep because I obsess over things. I take xanax to help me sleep, and it calms my mind. Also, some nights I'll play my Gameboy until I fall asleep playing it, because it helps keep me distracted.
frosty4
01-18-2006, 04:34 PM
Vansen- How are you sleeping- any of the tips help- I have been wondering how you are- I dont even know you but your story seemed so rough- I just hope you are getting better!
amanda
amanda
Vansen
01-26-2006, 06:37 PM
Thanks, iyami, jules, etc.,
frosty4, unfortunately, none of the tips have helped. You see, when i try thinking of other things i am aware that i'm doing it for the very reason it's meant to block out. Sleep is a trick i very rarely master. Sleep is a trick in that in order to sleep you can't be aware that you're falling asleep. Once you're aware that you're falling to sleep, sleep will never come. I've only slept for maybe 9 hours since last saturday. I feel terrible and am getting sick again. It's pure torture. My heart's wearing out. Now i see that there's probably no end to this 'til i die.)_:
frosty4, unfortunately, none of the tips have helped. You see, when i try thinking of other things i am aware that i'm doing it for the very reason it's meant to block out. Sleep is a trick i very rarely master. Sleep is a trick in that in order to sleep you can't be aware that you're falling asleep. Once you're aware that you're falling to sleep, sleep will never come. I've only slept for maybe 9 hours since last saturday. I feel terrible and am getting sick again. It's pure torture. My heart's wearing out. Now i see that there's probably no end to this 'til i die.)_:
jules1
01-26-2006, 08:43 PM
I hate to advocate taking medicine, but I really think Xanax would help!! Or something along the lines of xanax. Perhaps ask your Dr. for a small prescription for it to try it. There are many nights when I'm really stressed and can't sleep because I'm worrying about school, money, etc, or I can't sleep because I'm having intrusive thoughts, or because I can never get "comfortable" (my clothes feel too real, for example). When I take my xanax to sleep, after about 20 minutes these thoughts disappear.
You can also try some natural remedies, such as drinking tea with Valarian herb in it. I know Celestial Seasonings sells "nighttime" tea with the Valarian in it. Or, you can find the herb at health food stores. It won't calm your mind, but it will make you sleepy!
Instead of leaving the TV on, you could get a fan to help drown out the noise. The TV might be distracting, even if you don't notice it.
Do you have a cell phone, and if so, do you have any games on it? I know it sounds silly, but I used to play "memory" (you know, the game where you flip the cards over) until I feel asleep. Like I said, some nights I play my gameboy. You could also try reading yourself to sleep. It really helps me to be doing something until I fall asleep, instead of just laying in bed waiting for sleep to come. Of course, when I do something like play video games or read myself to sleep, I try to get in bed about 30 minutes earlier, since it does take a little while.
I know you say you don't want to go to the Dr again, but I think its worth a shot. Although Xanax is prescribed for anxiety, especially panic attacks, it helps to calm my OCD and over active brain. I take my xanax most nights, and also drink that tea I mentioned. It helps me, and I've had problems similar to yours in the past.
Good luck.
You can also try some natural remedies, such as drinking tea with Valarian herb in it. I know Celestial Seasonings sells "nighttime" tea with the Valarian in it. Or, you can find the herb at health food stores. It won't calm your mind, but it will make you sleepy!
Instead of leaving the TV on, you could get a fan to help drown out the noise. The TV might be distracting, even if you don't notice it.
Do you have a cell phone, and if so, do you have any games on it? I know it sounds silly, but I used to play "memory" (you know, the game where you flip the cards over) until I feel asleep. Like I said, some nights I play my gameboy. You could also try reading yourself to sleep. It really helps me to be doing something until I fall asleep, instead of just laying in bed waiting for sleep to come. Of course, when I do something like play video games or read myself to sleep, I try to get in bed about 30 minutes earlier, since it does take a little while.
I know you say you don't want to go to the Dr again, but I think its worth a shot. Although Xanax is prescribed for anxiety, especially panic attacks, it helps to calm my OCD and over active brain. I take my xanax most nights, and also drink that tea I mentioned. It helps me, and I've had problems similar to yours in the past.
Good luck.