I love my DS so much but some days things just make me feel like I am not a good mom.
Like today, I am getting over the flu, which while I had DS spent the night at my mom's. I am still weak today and all DS wants me to do is hold him, which I don't mind doing if he is getting sick. But I just don't have the energy so I sent him back to my mom's. I love him but I feel like I can't handle him.
Another thing is, when he is at my mom's, he is a perfect angel. He will sit in his highchair and finish a whole jar of food, but when I have him he starts to scream and get fusterated so he never finishes even though he is hungry. I try to do things the same way she does too. Also he will take naps by her house without his swaddle blanket but will never sleep with out at home here.
I want him home but half the time I think he is happier at grandma's. But on the other hand when he is home with me, he just fusterates me. For the past 3 weeks he has been going through seperation anxiety and it is only getting worse. I run out of patience with him. I was crying when I came down with the flu and had to send him to my mom's and then he isn't even home a whole day and I am telling DH take him back there. I am crying as I do it but I just can't handle him. I do work part time so he goes to my mom's then but DH is pushing me to pick up more hours since I get so annoyed at DS. I think DS going through this seperation anxiety thing is what is pushing me too far. Some days I feel like I love him less since it started. The whining day in and out gets on my nerves but I love him and miss him so much every time I have to bring him to my mom's. It is like an emotional roller coster. I know this got long but I needed to let it out.

You are not a bad mom you are human! I wish I had some advice for you but I have only been doing this mom thing for about 3 weeks. You are probably more on edge than normal cause you have had the flu. That would wear on anyone. I hope you feel better and hope things get better. At least you can feel good that he is happy at Grandmas! :)

How long has your baby stayed at your Mom's? I wouldn't call it seperation anxiety if he was away from you for a couple days. He misses his mom and wants to feel the security he gets from you.
I know what you mean about feeling like a bad mom. I feel the same. Lately, all I want DS to do is sleep. This is my first baby and sometimes I just feel like I want that alone time again. I could drop him off at MIL's sometimes, but I know she likes to stick things in his mouth like fruit. He's 2 months old so that's not healthy and I am so worried she doesn't listen to me when I'm not around.
He always gets so fussy in the evening 5 or 6pm. I can't seem to make him happy at that time and it makes me insane. DH works 7days and the midnight shift, so I don't want to bother him for a break, but I just feel like I'm going crazy. When I wake up in the morning I feel great. I love watching him and talking to him through out the day because he's so happy, but once evening hits, forget it. I know everyone is going to say he's tired, but he naps for an hour or two at a time through out the day. I don't have much advice for you since I am going through the same. Maybe someone can chime in for both of us. Good Luck

I am starting to think about having my 2nd baby and then I read your post and remember all the hard times. If only they could come out 2!! My mom does not live close by so I had to do it all on my own. Sick/healthy/sleep deprived, it was one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life. I did make it through, and am now stronger for it. I just remember how hard it was. Hang in there it will pass even though it seems like that is forever from now. I agree that you are feeling extra stressed becasue you are sick. You will have renowned energy and positiveness when you have all your strength back. Right now enjoy that your mom can help. Babies are most hard on their moms. Your baby trusts you and thats why he acts up around you.

2Fast - you're a good Mom, I read your posts all the time, you're normal, caring, concerned and loving. That being said, babies are freaking hard!!!! Give yourself a huge pat on the back for even attempting it and not running off down the road pulling your hair out.

The separation anxiety phases are VERY difficult and can be more intense in some babies. Don't feel guilty about wanting to spend less time with your son, it's normal. Have him be with your Mom as often as she's willing, it doesn't mean you're a bad parent. Don't feel guilty about wanting to work more hours either, every Mom is different and if you aren't at your best, you can't expect to be the very best Mom you can be for your son.

Roxy - you hang in there too, you're baby has the "5 o'clock fuss fiesta" going on. We used to dread that time of day. All of our kids went through it. It doesn't go away as they get older either, it just changes. My older kids still go through the major crabbies at that time every night. It's the end of the long day, transitioning to dinner and bed time routine and time to let off the stress that's built up. Adults go through it as well, we just don't whine and cry.

I agree with everyone else. You are a good mom! It is so hard to devote 110% of your time to a little guy. Especially when they don't seem to appreciative. lol DS is 4 months and he's got the separation thing going on as well now. As long as he's awake I have to be right beside him or he starts screaming. I was really stressing a couple weeks ago since there is no housework going on around here any more, I can't be away from him that long! Making matters worse, I used to be able to take him to my moms for a break every now and again but now he just screams when anyone else takes him. He only wants to be with his dad or me. Our DS also gets the fussy thing about 6:30 at night. Not every night but when he does, it's a screamfest no matter what I do with him. There has been more than one night he's been in bed early simply because I can't handle the screaming anymore.

We're not robots. Asking for help from Grandparents, Dads ect is not a bad thing. If you feel more hours at work won't hurt either if you need the time out. Everybody needs a break sometimes.

Thanks for making me feel better. I love him so much but I feel so guilty when I get frusterated with him. Sometimes I guess I expect too much out of such a little person.

Even though this isn't my thread I feel so much better with Celestine's response. I thought I was horrible for making him sleep early or trying my best to get him to sleep more during the day. Its just been lately that he has been pretty fussy. He loves to watch the toys on his playmat, but he only takes so much of someone not paying attention to him.

I'll agree that you're not a bad mom. I can't imagine having a baby and working part-time too. Give yourself a pat on the back.

My daughter (grown now) was exactly the same. The only way I could keep my sanity and not curl up into a sobbing ball was to have a straight talk with the hubby.

Our solution was to give me a full hour off every night that I would spend in the bathtub with a book or magazine. He had to take care of the baby all by himself and could not interrupt my bathtub time. And he couldn't sit outside the door with a crying baby either!

That one hour every day saved my sanity. It let my husband see exactly what I went through for 18 hours every day - those times when the baby just cries and cries and there is nothing you can do for her except walk in circles around the house.

I know that right now you're thinking that your life will be like this forever. It won't - things change really fast with babies and before you know it you'll be on this board giving advice to the newer mothers going through it.

Best of luck to you!

2fast-you are not a bad mom! I have read your posts too, and the ones when you were pregnant, and I know you love your baby! I also know how hard it is! I had a thread almost exactly like this! As for the baby being happier at Grandma's, DS is the same way, the reason is that Grandmas have alot more experince and aren't as stressed, and they also know they can send them home, lol. So they don't get upset, and babies do pick up on that. When DS was little the only person who could keep him calm was my Grandma, becuase it just didnt' phase her for him to cry, it never got on her nerves or anything. She is like superhuman! And she has also helped to raise 8 kids, so that is a big help. Anyway, it does not make you a bad mom becuase you want your baby to go to your mom's. Actually, since you think the baby is happier there, it makes you a great mom for letting your baby go there! As for feeling like you love him less, I don't think that you do, sometimes I feel like I would like to just run off. But after I get a few minutes, I calm down, and I bet you do too. I hope you feel better soon!
Whoever has the five o'clock fuss thing, we had that too, I think that most colicy babies do, it will end though!

I guess I have some things to be thankful for. DS never had a 5 o'clock fuss thing. Some nights he gets tired of being in his high chair when he is eating but the fuss never goes beyond that. He never really picks the same time every day to be fussy.