I'm in my 60's, along with having a debilitating illness. Never having a rolemodel for the aging process, I'm really lost as to how people do it.

Always had a very full life; career; traveling, etc., etc., and now I'm lucky to walk to the mailbox.

Anyway, curious to hear if others are having this issue, or others who know how to "deal" with it.

Thanks..................carole

Yes, I am and age is relative. The best thing is to count your blessings, work on a positive asttitude, and then the misery will not seem so bad. If you play the self pitty game, you will feel terrible most of the time and become depressed. There is joy in all stages of life regardless of our health problems, we just have to focus on things other than our misery.

I'm 71, my wife and I fast walk 3 miles every day. Eat right and exercise every day. We both are not a pound over weight. Our kids and grandkids can't keep up with us. I do all my yard work... I very well could afford to have it done but I enjoy having something to do. We travel, several major trips each year.
Life is what you make of it.... age shouldn't change that! Life is great! Enjoy every day!

Good luck and hope you have brighter days.

Hi Caroleye......am so sorry to hear about your illness that has
limited your ability to do what you use to. I am 61 and up until last year I danced in a jazz class two nights a week and
finished up law school and took the California bar.....and through this I had pain which I thought was sciatica. After I
took the bar I took the time to go to a few docs and found out
that I have bone on bone osteoarthritis up my right hip..Yes, its fixable but until I get my hip resurfaced, which the FDA has not approved in the U.S. I can walk in the grocery store if I have somethinfg to lean on and can walk
around my house....no dance, no law job and much pain but I just know that things will be better in the future and am putting all my energy into new changes in my life. It is
very difficult not to feel sorry for yourself....you did not say
what you are sufferinfg from ? Karen

Well,, think I'm on the wrong board. When one has been chronically ill with Lupus, CFS, Fibromalgia for over 20+ years, you have a very different perspective.

And those who have not experienced these limitations just don't understand.
But I'm happy for those who have not had to do this.

So off to another board.

carole

Well, I just turned 60 last week and am so glad to be here! I'm very active. I ignore the bad parts, aches and pains. Have had 2 foot surgeries so I could get back to jogging. Had the gallbladder out a year ago..so glad I did. Jogged 2 miles one week to the day after. Am into Cajun, Zydeco and ballroom dancing. Just take another Mobic and go about my business. Make sure to get sleep and eat right...take that HRT too! Don't want to get too bitchy! Am in a wonderful physical relationship with a man 10 years younger...gosh, I am so lucky! My attitude is that I am glad to be here, glad to be in the shape I am and just don't want to backslide.

Amen, Caroleye, I know exactly what you mean.
I'm almost 65 and have Hep C and Cirrohis. Had to go on dissability about five years ago.
I do not agree with life is what you make it. You don't have a choice in some things.
Good Luck and God Bless

Amen, Caroleye, I know exactly what you mean.
I'm almost 65 and have Hep C and Cirrohis. Had to go on dissability about five years ago.
I do not agree with life is what you make it. You don't have a choice in some things.
Good Luck and God Bless


Thanks for your show of compassion Granny........also having had a near death experience, that's another perspective that "normal" people don't have. Yes, and the very idea that you don't have choices with chronic, debilitating illness that keeps one housebound is a huge challenge that many choose to exit.

Blessings...............carole

Well,, think I'm on the wrong board. When one has been chronically ill with Lupus, CFS, Fibromalgia for over 20+ years, you have a very different perspective.

And those who have not experienced these limitations just don't understand.
But I'm happy for those who have not had to do this.

So off to another board.

carole
Carole, you're correct that others don't understand. I would love to have a "physical illness" that I could deal with and make my own future. Unfortunately, some of us don't have that choice, even though many people seem to think we do. However, as you said, I'm happy for those that are able to have a life in their senior years.

Hi Carole: Getting older and being hit with chronic illnesses, I am almost 64, is not for the faint of heart. I have 5 main medical problems and have a lot of pain. Some days are better than others. No, people without those difficulties just cannot comprehend the hardship. They tell you to just dig in & eat healthy & exercise and you will be ok. Wish it were as easy as that. Sometimes I can't even walk in my house without my crutches. You must be a tough fighter. Try to see any good things and be as positive as you can. It's hard, but helps to lighten depression. Another tough old bird to live with.
Best of luck to you.

Hi There... I am 67 and perhaps in the biginning of ageing. I funnel all of my energy and problems into my relationship with God. My life is basicly lived by my faith in Jesus. I have many friends at my church whom I love, and I try to be loving and kind to my neighbors and people that I meet when I am out and about doing things. My life is very full because of the love and peace that God has given me. Do I have problems? O yes, just like everyone else! Do I let things get me down? No, I give those things to God and He helps me, by giving me direction, or sometimes just eliminates the whole thing. My life is not perfect and ageing cirtainly is something I must deal with everyday. The end of this life is not a fear to me, it is a time to look forward to, because my life and future is secure in my relationship with Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior, and my destination is Heaven where many of my old friends that have gone on before me, are waiting for me with open arms.

Hi Carol,

I know exactly what you are talking about, I have FM, MPs and costo for over 20 years and I am the same way, you do things and end up in so much pain, you want to roll into a ball and cry.

I am 65 and have four grandchildren the oldest is 6, I want to play with them, carry them around etc, but cannot due to these darn dd. It is hard to be positive when you have pain all the time.

Right now I am I therapy for a pinched nerve in my neck, The pain, tingling and soreness from that along with the fm pain is not fun at all.

Hope you feel better soo, in fact hope we all do.

Hugs, Linda

hi
Not that far of 60 and personaly dreading it. Have been treated for depression for over 25 years and it is an illness that people have no time for as it is not visible as such. They can see the cheery face and putting on appearances but not the physical pain, yes physical pain that is going on underneath.
Perhaps I will pop of to another board.
Take care all

I'm not yet 60,and I don't think I'll make it.
My health has been declining,and now rapidly.I've taken care of everyone else,but myself.
Put on alot of weight,can't seem to lose it.
Took care of my Mom,my brother who is single,and had a heart attack.my husband,when he had his heart attack.
My 16 year old daughter,that got pregnent,now helping her raise my grandaughter the past 5 yrs,while she finishes colledge.
My wonderful son,who was the only one that was always there for me,always there a phone call away,a shoulder to cry on,every time I was in the hospital,he was always the one to show up,was killed in a terrible accident.The fire truck he was riding in,turned over into a ditch.He was a true hero,rescued many people in Katrina,even as he was dying he radioed for help for his men.He was a wonderful son,husband father,and fire fighter.
And on top of that,his wife will not let me see my grandson,her and my grandson will never have to worry about money for the rest of their lives,as she told me.My son left my daughter,his younger sister,amodest amount of money,which she thinks should go to her too.My daughter has been devastated by his death,he was her only sibling,and her child was his god daughter.She said because my daughter is young,I should make the decision to give the money to her,I disagreed,so she has wiped all of us out of their life.
Well,this has taken atoll on my health,losing my son and my grandson.My son wanted his family in his son's life.She doesn't need us,she has her money and her baby sitters.
My heart is broken,I have diabeties which is getting worse,I seem to have given up,life just seems so hard,and I feel so lonely,no one ever calls,most of my family is on the other side,if it wasn't for the 3 people in my life,my husband,who is getting on in age,72,my daughter and my grand daughter,I woukd have no one.
I don't have any close friends,made my family my whole life.
So where do I go from here,who will take care of me,if I get sick,feels very scarey.
Used to love having family get togethers,now thats all over,all I have are memories.

Hi Carole & everyone: How is everyone today? Hope it's one of the better days for you. A lighter day for me so I will be going out to get some things done I can't otherwise. Nice to be among people in the big world.
Has anyone had a problem with burning feet? For whatever causes it? Been trying lots of things, no prescription drugs...no insurance. So far some temporary relief but when I go back to sleep, it's back in a couple of hours so it's up again for round 2, or 3, & so on. Appreciate any suggestions. Thank you.
Good luck.

I'm sixty two and the only health problem I have is anxiety. When I married, I was a size ten. Nineteen yrs later I'm a sixteen. Luckily, I'm quite tall.
I could be a very happy person if certain family members would change. I feel good; I'm capable of doing a lot of things but my daughter is driving all of us nuts at age forty. I get over things, for the most part, knowing that even worse can happen at any time. For instance, my best friend died of cancer five years ago. I miss her so much; oh, how we'd laugh together.
My parents died within two years of each other. Dad was very difficult and actually mean to us for a couple of years. So I get the melancholy feelings whenever I think of these things but I try and concentrate on my blessings.
My other daughter and family are doing fantastic; my husband is very kind and easy going and puts up with my other daughter's shenanigans. No one is going to be devastated by MY death; why should their deaths ruin my existence? I just miss them. And I wish I could have more fun than I do now.
My husband is diabetic and doesn't seem to care; I never know what will happen to him from day to day. After all of these posts, I'm going to go and load up with my vitamins. I take a LOT of them.

Hi SusanGene: As I read your post, in the part about your daughter I had a couple of ideas. You say she is 40 and you have to put up with her "shenanigans". Perhaps she is having a mid-life crisis, perhaps she is perimenopause or actually menopausel and her hormones are acting wild along with the mid-life difficulty. Think back to about the same age and how you felt & thought. What were your fears and what were you anxious about? Would she see her doctor to find out about being menopausel? You can share some of your experiences, especially any funny ones, and your thoughts at about that age. Especially tell her how much you love her and you appreciate any positives that she has or does. Good luck.

Carolyn, I'm so sorry I missed you having just discovered this board. I would like to talk to you. I too am having problems, not all age related but most are.. I am 63, soon to turn 64, and have found these golden years to be pretty tarnished. I have a debilitating back problem, 3 major surgeries, now degeneration is rampant. My husband developed a severe mental illness along with Stroke and diabetes. He was placed in a Home when they decided I could no longer take care of him by myself. I have lost everything in the process. No longer have the home I paid off with my disability settlement, to pay for all the medical and bills. Am now forced to live with my son who I love dearly, however he is a quadraplegic) I take care of him also. Not as much as I used to thank heavens, he now has 24 hr. CNA care. So all I have to really do now is cooking and cleaning, washing etc. But my home is now a bedroom in my son's home. I am forced to live on Social Security Disability (what a joke) can't call that a living. All savings gone. Being told look at the bright side is not what you want to hear. Concrete solutions or help is what you want. I am battling depression with the help of Dr.'s. Was married 46 years, my husband is in a home out of state, I live with my son. People tell me now you can finallly get a life and get some enjoyment. How or with what would be good to know. But you know what Carolyn I still thank God for the blessing of having a roof over my head and people who care about me. I do wish things had turned out better for me but they didn't so its up to me to try to make better what is left of my life. So hang in there and maybe when you least expect it you will find what you are looking for. Illness is tough and sooner or later it gets us all. I certainly know what you are going through, I can't function without the pain patch and assorted medications. But we are allive so hopefully can reach out to someone else who is worse off. Don't you give up!! Take Care ....Sherry

To Seal1964, I had just been on WebMD and saw an article on foot pain and burning feet. You might want to check it out at www.WebMD.com they called the condition peripheral neuropathy. I remember reading that over 50% of patients with this condition had no other major illness such a diabetes that they could rule out as causing this. You might find something that will help you. They had a number of creams etc. to treat this. Good Luck. :wave:

Thank you Vegas Sherry for the info re the peripheral neuropathy & products. Will definitely look into it. Very tired today so not much got done. Having company tomorrow night so must get going in the a.m. to be ready. Have a good weekend. Oh for the energy of a kid.

Hi carol
Yep im over 60 but sure dont feel like it I also have debilataing stuff but I will not let it get to me,I have been told I have a high pain tolerance, now I have been told I have ephyseimia, No Im not upset, I see it as a end to my pain sooner then expected I want quality of life not quantity.
I chat every night I have met a few in the room they are like dear freinds its wonderful.
I have found the internet a inspiration as I have seen more on line worse off than me and younger so at 63 this year I reckon I have had it good all my grandsons are grown and real gentlemen of that Im soooo proud.
And when my time comes I will be reunited with two granchildren that I look forward to.
No I do not have depression but yes I do have good and bad days I just go and play games or some thing to activate my mind.
Live for now Carol forget tomorrow it will come just dont dwell on good or bad ok
huggssss Ozcally

Hi Carol,
Iam 62, and feel every day of it, yesterday I layed in bed all day, it was one of those damp dreary days, and every muscle, ached. I can't make it to my mail box, but I am not giving up on the prospect, last year this time, I wasn't quite as bad, but I am determined to take back what little life I have, so everyday I force myself to do something small that I didn't do the day before, actually I am making some progress, in increments. I always want to over do it on the days that I feel some energy flowing my way, but have learned to pace myself, that way I am not 2 discouraged when all my effort seems to vaporize before my eyes. Actually I would be discouraged to death if I allowed myself the privilege. I keep thinking I ought to get a scooter or something to get around in but I just can't give into the idea, I feel as though I would be regressing, and I am not ready for that yet, although everything in me just wants to give up. I make myself get in my car everyday and go somewhere, sometimes I go to the lake and muse, other times I go to a thrift store, I can meander around there and sit down when ever I have to. Some days I crank up the heater as high as it will go and sit in my car and listen to the radio, or I take my bible with me and read, it's always encouraging to discover something new. If this rain ever quits I am going to plant my flowers, love watching the roses bloom. Hope you have a good day. Bell.

Can I chip-in folks and boast that at 75 I am free of all that normally ails one and have not, incidentally, suffered from influenza for the past 6 years. I do not feel any older than I did when in my 40s or 50s. I enjoy life and continue to believe that I have a future. How was this achieved? I do not know. My sister at 74 works full-time as a carer to the elderly, some of whom are younger than she. Presumably a genetic disposition, if you will excuse the terminology!

Hi Omar: Good for you. So glad you have the good health plus and the good life. Personally, I think that anyone living outside the states, especially in the European places get better food than we do. Which helps a lot towards good health. By that I mean food not as tainted with tons of preservatives, dyes and all the extra junk in the even "healthy" vegetables etc. People I know that have traveled, & lived, over there come back saying the food tastes so much better in Europe. May you & your sister continue to live on having full and fun filled lives. Seal1964

Hi Carole & everyone: How is everyone today? Hope it's one of the better days for you. A lighter day for me so I will be going out to get some things done I can't otherwise. Nice to be among people in the big world.
Has anyone had a problem with burning feet? For whatever causes it? Been trying lots of things, no prescription drugs...no insurance. So far some temporary relief but when I go back to sleep, it's back in a couple of hours so it's up again for round 2, or 3, & so on. Appreciate any suggestions. Thank you.
Good luck.

Healthboards has a whole board of wonderful people who have various types of Neuropathy problems, including Pheriphial Neuropathy. Burning feet/numb soles/tingly toes and such happy sensations are fairly common over there!
go here:
http://www.healthboards.com/boards/forumdisplay.php?f=94


About being over 60...
I'm not there yet.
I just turned 59.
I'm going to use this year to get ready for my second childhood.
I'm tired of being sore and anchient feeling.
We get to start our second childhood at 60, don't we? :jester:

Yeah, yeah, I know about the disabilites.
Thats not new for me.
But having lived so long with the disabilities has ment low income.
So I won't doing any world traveling.... :nono:
I won't take up Sky Diving :nono:
Definatly not Ballroom danceing :nono:

But I think the key is having a goal and I don't mean just another medical goal. (I know I have to continue my medial stuff and I will but aren't we all tired of Dr's by now?)

So this year "the goal is to find a goal" for my 60's
Can't be very physical because of my limits there.
Can't cost much of anything cuz of my limits there.
Maybe it will a be small one, but a personal goal of some kind none the less.

Hello Carole,
I am also in my 60s and I have severe degeration of the spine and never thought i would see the day I could not do anything I wanted, but the last several years have proved I can not..so I do what I can, and walking is very hard for me, when I go to the grocery if I don't hold onto a cart its hard to walk. but I have my hobbies and keep busy.My life has not been waisted and I still enjoy talking to people and trying to lift them up, so make the best of what you have and can do, and don't wallow in self pity, there are others in worse shape than you...hugs Star2

Hello Snowmelts: Thank you for your information. My last appt. with the endocrinologist before losing my insurance she checked my feet. The result was that the problem is not neuropathy. When first diagnosed about 17 years ago as type II diabetic, I started learning all I could. To help keep neuropathy away, I started taking alpha lipoic acid. To help my eyes, I take Bilberry. My eye doctor says there is no indication at all in my eyes that I am diabetic. My food plan is a diabetic healthy eating style. Not perfect but I try hard to stick to it since I cannot have the diabetic medicine anymore. No medicare until I am 65.
I fell off a 40 foot riverbank and at the time I fractured my right arm. The doctor focused so much on that, some minor things did not get taken care of. Developed faciitis in my legs & plantar faciitis in my feet. My Bowen therapist treated me and told me what, how etc. and my legs & feet are much better. Gravity makes the feet worse and sometimes there is a flareup. The bone doctor did finally check out my legs, and told me I have osteoarthritis.
So glad you have such a good outlook. We really do need to be as positive & keep a good sense of humor going for us. It's the only thing that kept my husband & I from going under when he was dying. He really let the Irish comic in him come out at times.
Keep your spirit up and thank you for the information & concern. Seal1964

Yes, I'm 61 and don't know how that happened. Seems like I blinked and went from 42 to 61 without warning. I believe in living life to its fullest but I was medically retired 16 months ago and that plus being over 60 has really pulled the rug out from under. I liked the reply from the man who still does his yardwork and goes on trips - good for him and I wish I could do the same. I don't think my problem is age. I think it is the need to still be needed and a problem COMBINED with my age is what is having such a negative effect on me. I feel old so I'm treated as old. What I need to do is find something I can do to contribute again - to be needed. I think the age thing would melt away. bionic woman

Hi Bionic Woman: I am sorry you cannot do what you really want to. Are there any other things that you might do, even occasionally? If not going out, have a Bible Study group, or a card playing group, something like that, get together in your home? You did not mention what the medical issue is or what your limitations are so not sure what would be ok for you. I do hope that you can find something that would help you to feel better emotionally.
Would you be able to tutor someone in math, spelling, reading, English? Just thinking of different things.
Time does have a way of sneaking by on us. All of a sudden years are gone and we look back & wonder what we were doing that we didn't notice? Maybe start a journal and memories will come back you don't think of now. Be sure to include all of it and it is ok to cry a bit and laugh a lot at what comes up. Well, hope this helps a little bit. Prayers are sent for you. Sincerely, Seal1964.

I'm 71, my wife and I fast walk 3 miles every day. Eat right and exercise every day. We both are not a pound over weight. Our kids and grandkids can't keep up with us. I do all my yard work... I very well could afford to have it done but I enjoy having something to do. We travel, several major trips each year.
Life is what you make of it.... age shouldn't change that! Life is great! Enjoy every day!

Good luck and hope you have brighter days.
Sorry, but the reality is life does change when you are old. People react to you differently, You don't have the same opportunities you once did, and if you need to still work at age 60, you won't be hired for what you know or your experience. There are too many young kids doing the hiring. And if you should have a health problem, Social Srcurity disability will take 6 months to 3 years to decide if you are ill enough to receive your benefits, long enough for you to become broke and desperate. So life its not always what you make of life, often it is what is handed to you. Apparently, you are one of the lucky ones.

Oh I'm no optimist, definately not but I'm a survivor. I had someone describe me that way once and they are right. I just keep on truck'in. :dizzy:

Actually many of us faceing 60 still have eldery parents to care for, run errands for and all that stuff. That gets harder every year because the elderly parent..faceing 80.. actually won't always lsiten to thier 60 yr old "kids".

Then there is our offspring to worry Our chilren 40 and under consider themselves adult but they have needs.. like needing babysitters and financilal help.. We still worry about them. and it's had to let the "apron strings" loosen more every day.

My family has a genetic deafness through the generations.
When there is a genetic disability in the family, each generation has to help the generation above it AND below it too..cuz the disability keeps all the generations basically locked in low income as the deafness appears and makes employment a hard thing to handel. Employers don't appreciate the hearing loss as it gets worse and worse and then gone.

Some days I wish I could just worry about MY life.. go find some totally relaxing thing..
But I would feel guilty and selfish doing that this year. It would take money (which I don't have much of) and I'd feel guilty useing any money up when later some disabled relative might need help to get them out of financial emergency hot water. I keep thinking that by next spring, when I hit 60 that the current family problems will situate and hopefully stay on an even path a while. THEN I'm gonna hunt up a "second childhood" for me.

So basically, though I have many disabilites now and no job, I tend to be busy with the lives of relatives in the generations above and below mine rather than my own.
But isn't that what life is about?
:p

carole, i am another carole, so will always sign 'wannadance'. i am 64, with postpolio and several other debilitating things.

it really sucks to lose function and not be able to work, but ya know? i have done a tremendous amount of good in my life (that i know of and who knows how much i don't know of). i always told/tell people that i love them or admire them or whatever. sometimes i eat dessert first.

i've had, technically speaking, a horrible life, starting with severe brutal child abuse, but now, at my age, on the downward slope, i feel emotionally just as open and loving and vulnerable as ever. i fell deeply in love when i was 61 and we were like teenagers, really and truly. it didn't work out, but it opened a door in my heart that had never been opened, guess i just hadn't been ready up till then for that degree of depth.

i guess what i am saying is: the past is truly gone, although we can wear the scars as medals, if we should so choose. planning for the future is folly, because here were are, right this second, this is the future of only one second ago.

i was a medical professional for my adult career until i became too disabled. and believe me: you never know. anyone could die any minute of the most bizarre things. or we could fall in love with a person or a book or a painting or fresh watermelon. did you ever look at fresh watermelon, just cut, in full sunlight? you could get lost in that beauty...

i hope this helps. i had good examples of aging when i was a child (only one person was abusive, not the rest), so i consider myself very lucky. but you don't need a family to have a family: look around you.

my best,

wannadance

I'm not yet 60,and I don't think I'll make it.
My health has been declining,and now rapidly.I've taken care of everyone else,but myself.
Put on alot of weight,can't seem to lose it.
Took care of my Mom,my brother who is single,and had a heart attack.my husband,when he had his heart attack.
My 16 year old daughter,that got pregnent,now helping her raise my grandaughter the past 5 yrs,while she finishes colledge.
My wonderful son,who was the only one that was always there for me,always there a phone call away,a shoulder to cry on,every time I was in the hospital,he was always the one to show up,was killed in a terrible accident.The fire truck he was riding in,turned over into a ditch.He was a true hero,rescued many people in Katrina,even as he was dying he radioed for help for his men.He was a wonderful son,husband father,and fire fighter.
And on top of that,his wife will not let me see my grandson,her and my grandson will never have to worry about money for the rest of their lives,as she told me.My son left my daughter,his younger sister,amodest amount of money,which she thinks should go to her too.My daughter has been devastated by his death,he was her only sibling,and her child was his god daughter.She said because my daughter is young,I should make the decision to give the money to her,I disagreed,so she has wiped all of us out of their life.
Well,this has taken atoll on my health,losing my son and my grandson.My son wanted his family in his son's life.She doesn't need us,she has her money and her baby sitters.
My heart is broken,I have diabeties which is getting worse,I seem to have given up,life just seems so hard,and I feel so lonely,no one ever calls,most of my family is on the other side,if it wasn't for the 3 people in my life,my husband,who is getting on in age,72,my daughter and my grand daughter,I woukd have no one.
I don't have any close friends,made my family my whole life.
So where do I go from here,who will take care of me,if I get sick,feels very scarey.
Used to love having family get togethers,now thats all over,all I have are memories.

New at this - don't know if it will even get to you, but I hope so. Your post really struck me, I'm right there with you. Different circumstances but end result the same. It would be so good to correspond with someone in the same boat. Most people don't understand where we are coming from. I don't believe there are any easy answers but do have some little hints I personally have stumbled on, but anything that helps can't be discounted. I don't have anyone but my husband and he is so engrossed in his own problems that he can't see anything else so when it gets right down to it, I really don't have ANYONE. I try to take one day at a time and it's nice if there is something I need to accomplish and can be at least moderately successful - sometimes it's just in my own mind. Hope to be able to further talk with you - someone cares!

I'm sixty two and am mildly depressed everyday. I'm so spoiled; I'm ashamed of myself. I guess I had too much fun in my life, too often. NOw I find myself in a daily rut with messy house and two dogs. Oh, of course, a husband too. I don't have any health problems, no financial problems-there's really nothing much I really want but maybe some fun? Some understanding of what life is all about? I know how sad I am because each evening I look forward to The Escape: a movie on tv & being away from the dogs. I never even wanted a dog; he had to have one, then two. How sad is that. When you meet people your age they're into complaining about their health or their kids. It isn't much fun. Or they talk on and on about golf.
They TRY to have fun but it just isn't there anymore.
I love my husband , I love my home and my kids & grandchildren; I get along well with one daughter. But life holds little pleasure for me anymore.
I don't know the answer; probably, there is no answer.
I was really a happy person until I turned fifty. Strange.

Thanks for your show of compassion Granny........also having had a near death experience, that's another perspective that "normal" people don't have. Yes, and the very idea that you don't have choices with chronic, debilitating illness that keeps one housebound is a huge challenge that many choose to exit.

Blessings...............carole

Carole, if you find a board that is more suitable, please let me know. I understand your problems and would love to be able to communicate with those who might be more understanding. This is all about helping others, even if its just listening and kind words. Getting older has it's bad side and it's hard enough under the best circumstances, so if anyone has a suggestion, I'm willing to listen and reciprocate if I can. Best to you!