Just wondering if any of you have had experience with the patient getting out-and-about; shopping, etc.

My Mom was always a much bigger shopper than me. She could shop all day, long after I wanted to go home. I'm the home-body, hermit type.


So, I've made a point of buying groceries on one day and visiting WalMart on another. Just so she still gets out of the house on 2 separate days.

This morning was our Walmart day. We hadn't been in the store long but had made our way to the back of the store. Mom started crying. Said, she shouldn't have come, she should have stayed in the car. She looked just awful.

I asked if she was hurting anywhere. She said "no." But her ankles didn't want to move anymore. No matter how I coaxed her, she would not walk back to the front of the store so we could leave. She just stood still and cried. Finally, a clerk walked by, saw Mom crying and the predicament I was in. She went to the front of the store and got one of the electric carts.

I didn't think we'd ever be able to tell Mom how to operate it, but she did fine. (Probably thought she finally had her car back!)

When we got to the front of the store, she walked back to the car as though nothing had happened. By the time we reached the car, she didn't remember it had happened at all.

My question is: When do you stop taking them places. Do they finally tell you they don't want to go?

This was just a puzzle to me but makes me cautious about going again. What if the store didn't have an electric cart?

Hi Sandy,

You just can never know what's next! What a predicament you and your mother were in, for sure.

It may be a today only thing, but it may be the unwelcome herald of a new decline. Your mother's behavior reminds me of how a tired little child acts. Can't walk, won't walk, and can only cry. Perhaps, WalMart is just too large now. Maybe your mother would do better in a smaller store. Maybe she no longer delights in shopping. My mother got to that point. She'd trail along with a total lack of interest. The items on the shelf meant nothing. The year before, she went through her gaudy phase and bought almost everything that sparkled. She stand before a sparkling object as if mesmerized, leave and return to it, until I said for her to buy it. She'd act like a child granted her wish.

Watch for other indictaions - I hope it's not a downward trend.

(((hugs))) Barbara

Well, Walmart is very intimidating for me, one reason I avoid it as much as possible. My FIL is easily overwhelmed when he is taken outside his AD lockdown unit. He asks to be taken out, but it seems to make him more anxious when he returns, as if all the strange stimuli overwhelm him. The nursing home has asked us not to take him outside the unit at this time because it upsets him and they say a set routine is more comforting for him. I don't know what stage of AD your mother is experiencing, but, perhaps trips to smaller, quieter places would be better at this time.

Jane

Yes, I agree - too much stimulation causes the inner confusion to become so intense that it can be paralyzing. Maybe she has no interest in shopping any more.

OR, maybe she had a leg cramp? My Mom used to stop after a few steps when walking, always making up some excuse "OH look at the lovely tulips" until her leg cramp subsided, then walked a few more steps. Then stopped to adsmire a car, a cat, or start a conversation with a stranger. Mom never admitted her legs were a problem. At home at night she got leg cramps a lot, until someone recommended drinking tonic water at bedtime (quinine) which virtually got rid of all night cramps ...

If it was 'only' that, she may not be declining after all.

Martha

I do hope that it is just the size of Walmart. It intimidates me during busy shopping hours! I always go early in the morning when there are fewer shoppers.

Oh Barbra......that is so funny. That is exactly how my mom has been for months. The more glitter and fur and guady something is...the more she likes it. And she's delighted if I allow her to buy it. Like a kid wanting a Barbie.

She does have arthritis in her left knee, but it never interrupted shopping before. I'm gonna make a stickie note about that tonic water. Interesting to know.

There are dollar stores on every corner around here. I think I'll try one of those next week. A lot shorter walk, and less stimulation. If she doesn't seem interested, then I'll know she may not be interested in shopping at all anymore.

She use to love grocery shopping, but last week she wanted to stay with my hubby instead of going with me. I didn't think much about it at the time.

I have noticed that she does much better during the week. We have a schedule, do the same thing day after day. She seems a little confused on the weekends when we eat at all hours, watch football instead of Bob Barker. I can just tell, she's slightly agitated......or confused.

Just a suggestion: AD patients LOVE routine .... it keeps them calmer and more peaceful, I too would panic on weekends when favourite shows weren't on, because anything could happen (and I mean ANYTHING) ........

I taped a few favourite shows, and when I noticed agitation setting in, I would put on a VCR.. I would point the show out, and she would sit down, calm and happy.

3 hour tapes, set on long play = 6 hours respite (most of the time) LOL

Yes, it's a babysitter of some form, but it kept some semblence of peace.

and my ex-charge went through a phase of buying shirts .. lots and lots of shirts, all in beautiful pastel's ... she would run away from me and go shopping ... she was safe enough in the shops, and the few times she took off on me and FIL, she would eventually find us (he never worried, I panicked) or we would find her ... and she would have shirts ..........

Then she went on the gaudy jewellery spree .. lots of cheap'ish jewellery ($30+) and other super expensive over the top prices (much to the delight of the jewellers LOL) but she would break them or lose a piece, and then they would be wrapped up in an envelope and tucked away under something .. she broke her watch, countless earrings and lots of necklaces.

Then she went on the shoe fetish .... Amelda Marcos eat your heart out ....... and was placed in the nursing home not long after that (thank heavens, the wardrobes were bursting enough as it is)

And the funny thing is, she would only ever wear her same old same old clothes, not the new ones ........ I even found some perfectly good new shirts cut up with scissors .. next to the sewing machine (she broke that too - !!)

She used to sew brilliantly, cook gourmet meals and be an understanding caring lovely lady .. this disease CRIPPLED her (not that she cared .. she was fine according to her, it was the rest of the world that had gone wrong) and this disease CRUSHED us and destroyed a family that had once been exceptionally close.

In our laughter of funny events and behaviours, the seriousness is sobering.

Hugs
Sally

Mom NOW loves gaudy stuff. I saw a little beaded purse on a bead chain in a local store and sent it to her - she loved it. She wears it around her neck. It was meant for little girls.

It doesn't taker much now to make her happy - for a little while.

M

There is a catalog called Traditions and I got mother a cross necklace with multicolored crystals forming the cross ($20). She loved it so much because of the sparkle even after she forgot the significance of the cross. She lost the first one and I was able to get another. That one hangs in my sewing room.

Group hug!! Barbara :)

I feel for you, it is so hard to see them not enjoy the things that they used to. My hubby used to like to shop at Wall Mart and Dollar Stores. He would always go early and they new him by name. Now he always asks to go and when we get in the store he wants to go and wait in the car. Like a child the only thing he wants is a candy bar. I have tried all different ways to see if he might enjoy himself again by encouraging him to look at things, but I don't think he is interested or cares anymore.
Diane

Ok .. this might sound a bit off the wall, but when my son was a baby, still in a pram, he would go NUTS in the shops ... once outside, he would be fine .. take him back in again, and he'd be off again .. screaming .. take him outside, fine ....

So we figured .. he didn't like the high shelves ... once I put him in a pouch facing me, so all he could really do was look to the side or at me, and he was fine ......

So .... perhaps AD people don't like the high shelves? Their perception of things is warped, this we know as fact, so why not their perception of high shelving?

You know when you look up at skyscrapers and you feel like they're falling down, perhaps they feel like that?

It's just a theory ... but perhaps try shops without high shelving (don't ask me where, all shops have impossible shelves now, and I'm 5'9" ~ !!!) .....

Other than that, maybe they would just like a drive around to see something other than 4 walls. It's so EASY for them to isolate themselves, and it's easy for us to keep them isolated (controlled environment, unpredictable behaviour ...) we may not mean it, but it does happen .. and of course, if they aren't going to 'play' we're not going to take them out but they still need some kind of stimulation, albeit, not too much ...

I'm just rambling now ... LOL .. I could keep on and on and on........

Hugs
Sally

Hi all -

My mother loved to be taken to the garden center - lovely colors, nice paths, sunshine. Her eyes became senstitive to light, so I'd bring her Grandma baseball cap and sunglasses. She looked gaudy! Even when she'd forgotten how to walk and I had the wheelchair to deal with (I'm 5'2"), she enjoyed being wheeled around to see the colorful flowers.

I just remembered one other thing Mom loved and that was two of the stretchy bracelets that are sold at many shops. They were colorful, inexpensive, entertaining, and didn't fall off of her wrists.

Cheers! Barbara :)

Hi Everyone,

Just wanted to add my $s worth! First a question: do yall know if men go thru a period of liking gaudy thing? Or something that equals that?! My dad, so far, just like to go out and buy just a little something every now and then. Like some cereal that just he gets to pick out. Or, his over the counter meds - he likes to buy his own vitamins, aleve and stool softeners! Just little things like that.

But, he seems to be starting sundowning? (or maybe not) ? My mom tends to let him sleep late like 10 or 11 am. That way she gets about 4 free hours in the morning to herself, to go to the dollar store and the grocery store and whatever!!! So, for whichever reason, he mainly likes to go out in the afternoon and evening. And my mom cannot see as well to drive at night!

My dad can walk to places like dr. appts., restaurants, grocery stores, church and things like that. But, lately, when he goes to Walmart (and theirs is the largest kind that has the groceries also), he does get a powered cart!!! :> He does that at SAMs too. Loves, those carts!

When my sister was in town last week, we took them to this giant shopping center, called the Galleria, in Houston. Monster size, with a #1, #2, #3, #4 And just about every shop you can think of - especially the foo foo ones!!!!! :> There we got him a free wheelchair and we went all over that place. He did walk some holding onto the back. He was fine and enjoyed himself. But, our mom was all wore out. So, she sat down and rested for a while!!!!! :> Mind you, we took them there at their request, because it is too far for our mom to drive and they would never be able to find their car. It is like a once a year thing for me too!!! We just looked and bought nothing but lunch! And of course a nice Starbucks coffee!!!!! :> :> :> My idea!

Just wanted you to know that so far we can work around my dads inability to walk. I guess, he is not intimidated by too many people (it was not a Sat.), as long as they are not all in the same room with him and not all talking at once! That is what really rattles our dad. He has to talk one on one, or cannot keep track of conversations.

I have forgotten - how far along is your charge and have yall been back to Walmart, yet? You might just try to start out with the cart, in the beginning?! Just a thought. When my grandma was real elderly, we got her a wheelchair and went to the zoo. She loved that too.

Thanks for the ideas too. I will buy some quinine water for my dad too. It does not hurt to try. But, would it still work if he had to drink it 2 hours before bedtime? His urologist said not to drink anything after that. And I think that my dad would like to go in a wheelchair (even tho he is not wheelchair bound) to a large garden place. There is a place only 20 minutes from their house, that sells, plants, trees, fountains, benches and all sorts of garden pretties!!! I might take them there when the weather gets better.

Thanks again ladies! I learn so much from all of yall. Plus the laughs make it so much better! :>

Love, Wannabe