For whatever reason, things have been pretty rough for me lately. I know I shouldn't complain because I'm doing really well in school, I have a really nice place of my own, and there are people in my life who really care about me. Granted, they are only a few people, but a few is better than none. I've just been feeling really down lately, despite all that. No one really knows that I've been in the dumps, probably because over the years I've gotten way too good at hiding my feelings. I'm OK when I'm in class, and at work, but it's when I'm either with people from the activities that I'm in or when I'm alone that I feel like something is off with my life. I'm going to be dropping one of the organizations I'm involved with because I always leave the meetings and gatherings feeling even more depressed and frustrated with the people in it. I just feel like I don't fit in with anyone in the college scene. I'm not by any means a heavy drinker...I'll have a little bit once in a while, but I really don't like the feeling of being drunk. However, I know that the fact that I don't drink a lot isn't what makes me feel excluded, because I know many people who don't drink heavily and still fit in. That's probably not the issue...I just feel like people don't like me in general. I just wish the feelings of rejection would stop. I'm not even sure if I should tell my closest friends that I'm hurting inside, even though it appears that I'm all right on the outside. I doubt any of this makes sense, but I thought I would post it anyway. Thanks for listening.

-Crazy-

[deleted as per author's request]

[This message has been edited by chrysanthemum (edited 01-14-2003).]

Hi there, I'm sorry to hear you're having a rough time. I also know what you mean by not fitting in. I worked in office environments for years and never socialized with my coworkers, for me work was work and my personal life was my personal life and I liked to keep the two apart. I just hated the gossip and backstabbing that went on. I didn't fit in but didn't much care if I did or not. Office politics are a minefield sometimes and it is at times better to watch from the sidelines.
I personally prefer having a few good friends to knowing a lot of people on a superficial level. You might try to be open with your close friends about how you feel, they may offer you support you need right now, just go to friends you really trust. Many people don't fit into the college scene and that's ok, don't feel bad about it. You are there to get an education and it sounds like you are achieving that goal very well! :)
Don't be too hard on yourself, as Chrys says not everyone fits into the clics but it doesn't mean you're being rejected. Take care and good luck! Leah

I'm going on a job interview tomorrow so please wish me luck, and it's not in an office LOL http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/round.gif

[This message has been edited by mistyeyed (edited 11-25-2002).]