:confused: Hi all......as some of you have read my posts, i've been having pretty much one and only one symptom since this past october. i'm lightheaded or off balance and sometimes, not most of the time, i get pressure in my head and my heart will race when i'm bed at night.

doc did tests.....catscan and blood work all clear and clean. i just feel off and am very depressed as it has been going on for so many months and has taken over my life......i didn't do christmas shopping OUT in the stores this year (all online), i have to build myself up to go into a grocery store because i think i'll pass out, i don't go out to lunch anymore at work-just run across the street for something quick since my favorite spot is too crowded and 5 blcoks of walking in case i am lightheaded isn't a good idea.....

Well, last night i felt really bad and embarrassed and like i'm a burden. my husband and i bought our first house in november from a friend of ours. he gave us an amzing deal and we thought it would be nice to do something back for him...we got him a trip (only 3 nights) and now he wants us to go with them. along with that we don't have the extra cash right now-have alot of expenses coming up-couple of weddings, RE tax time, etc....we can't go because of my head...and i had been telling my husband that it's just the money that we can't go but had to insist last night that it was the money but my health too (not only with my head but i've been so scared of flying for years!)...he got mad and said...how long is this going to last...you've had this for years...are we ever going to go anywhere? I felt so down........i know i'm hindering his chance to go next month to the Bahamas and that we'd both enjoy it...but i can't fathom the idea of going with my head being the way it is right now....and it hasn't been years....it's only been since october but to ME it does seem like years...he doesn't understand....and i'm getting very depressed...what type of life is this for me? what makes it worth going on in the sense of me not being my old self.....i'm trapped.....

was told to see an ENT.....how will they be able to tell if it's anxiety or something such as a vestibular disorder? are there real tests that will conclude that it is my ears.....can't tell...just really wonder if it's anxiety at all..i'm sure that it is partly but it could be caused by my ears.....

i just want to end this saga......

You sound very similar to me and the problems that I have had dealing w/ this whole ear thing. I have felt everything that you are describing. I am at my 9 1/2 months mark......and just like Gloria said that she really didn't start seeing improvements till this time....I feel like the dark clouds are parting a little for me now....and they will soon for you too. You just have to be as strong as you can b/c nothing can test you or a marriage as much as this thing. I went through and am still going through problems w/ my finacee from how much this thing has changed our lives. What you need to do is get a therapist b/c if you are like me...all you are doing is talking about your ear problem to him.....w/ a therapist...you will be able to unload all of your worry and grief on her...and feel better just to have someone to talk to. Mostly I think that you are feeling axiety going in stores and such...I had all those same reactions...the feeling of panic and like I am going to faint....I was checked out for everything and know that besides this ear problem I am healthy and will be okay. It just all takes time and I assure you that you will begin to see postive changes....just hang in there!

thank you Lauren..I have read your posts as they are so similar to what i'm going thru.....I feel the same way as you...worry that i'm going to faint in public and just need to get out as quickly as possible.......it's consuming my thoughts anymore.....

will look into a therapist....guess it should be someone that specializes in anxiety disorders huh?

thanks again....i know that there's nothing really wrong with me (but worry that there is and someone's missed something) but it's hard to overcome still....i tell myself that i'll be fine and i can do this (re: going into a grocery store) but then the fear and anxiety overcomes me and i have to get out or at least rush thru...it's never pleasurable any more.

:rolleyes:

Hi Manchak,

After dealing with this for a good nine months (couldn't go anywhere) my husband talked me into getting away to the beach for a week. I was hesitant, but he insisted. It was the only time during the whole year of this crap that I felt better. The weather was perfect and sunny. It was warm on my face and the noise of the ocean drowned out the tinnitus in my ears even at night when it was quiet all I heard was the ocean waves slapping the coast. We took it slow that week but I found myself doing more than I had for a very long time. I rode a bike on the board walk (yes imagine that) and I was the happiest I had been in a long time. What I am trying to say is don't put your life on hold too much. Maybe getting away from your problems is just what you may need. Did you ever see the movie "What about Bob". Great movie about a man with a compulsive disorder who follows his therapist on vacation. Well to make the long story short is his therapist tells Bob (the patient) to take a vacation from his problems. What wonderful advice and that is my advice to you. I did it and it turned out to be a great experience for myself.

Feel Better - Gloria