I'm not really sure why I'm posting in here but I am. This could turn into a bunch of rambling so just ignore it.
I'm new here. I feel like tonight. I was okay for most of the day but now I just feel really blah and *meh*. What makes me kinda ticked is that I have no idea why I'm feeling so down. What did I do to make myself feel like this? Maybe I just deserve; I don't know.
I don't see my pdoc until Dec. 10th and it seems like an eternity away. Will I last that long? Can I make it till then? Prolly not but that's okay. *sigh* I'm on a nice lil cocktail of meds; maybe they need adjusting?
I feel like I'm floating. Does anyone ever get that feeling? I feel like I'm floating above the computer desk and in a total daze. It kinda scares me when that happens cuz I dunno what could happen. I'm at home by myself again, which isn't always a bad thing, but sometimes it's just not a good thing. *guh*
Ohmygeez, what am I doing here? Why am I wasting valuable space for others to write in? I'm just wasting space. I'm sorry. I'm gonna go now. I think I'll go take an Ativan or two and try to chill out.
[This message has been edited by minerva (edited 11-23-2002).]
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chrysanthemum
11-23-2002, 02:20 AM
[deleted]
[This message has been edited by chrysanthemum (edited 01-08-2003).]
Toomuch
11-23-2002, 02:38 AM
lilmissme,
I hope your feeling better now.
Can you see your Doctor sooner ?
I am new here also, I just want to say you are care for, and one thing that might help you.. Maybe Find something that you like to do. If it's crafts, A funny movie or just playing with a wash rag in your hand. Try a project that is simple and is just for fun, and relaxing. What do you like ?? Hold yourself together.
And maybe your meds need time or adjusting !
As I said I am new. I thought I would say Hi and ((HUGS))
lilmissme
11-23-2002, 08:47 PM
Thank you Chrys and Toomuch. I do feel a little better today. Last night was just a horrible horrible night. I don't really have a good support network in the 'real' world. I use to talk to a couple of my friends all the time about stuff but then it all back-fired one day and they left me. I'm just now gaining their friendship back; I don't want that to happen again. I don't talk to my mom at all. If she asks me how I'm doing, I tell her that I'm fine, whether I am or not. The only real support that I have is my pdoc, which I don't get to see very often, and sometimes one of my aunts. But she has stuff to deal with too and I don't wanna 'dump' everything on her. When I was in school I had a fabulous school counselor who was the best...but I'm not in school anymore so that's kinda gone. But yeah, I'm just rambling now so I'm gonna stop talking, or writing, now. Thanks for the replies. I hope that I can 'fit' in to this group.
[This message has been edited by chrysanthemum (edited 01-08-2003).]
lilmissme
11-23-2002, 11:35 PM
(((((((((((((((Chrys)))))))))))))) Thank you soooo much... that's what I needed.
Oh dear, I'm tired... and it's only 8:30pm.. blah. http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/tired.gif http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/yawn.gif
Lilmiss http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/heart.gif
Ashlee
11-24-2002, 04:27 AM
Hey there, Lilmissme... or Lilmissyou as Chrys says (she does seem to enjoy being different http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/tongue.gif).
I hope you feel well and truly welcomed here to the boards. http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif
I'm glad to hear things are looking a bit brighter for you today. That's great. http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/biggrin.gif
Please don't ever think you're wasting anyone's time here at the boards... because these boards are here specifically for us to turn to when we really need some support. Don't apologise - and KEEP POSTING! http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/biggrin.gif
Well, I hope things start to look up for you now! Let us know how things are going, won't ya?
Take care,
Ashlee
PS: Am I right in thinking that I've already 'spoken' to you in another forum here? I'm SO SURE I have! Either that or I was imagining things again. http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/biggrin.gif
Tapio2
11-24-2002, 07:54 AM
SNAP OUT OF IT!!!
http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/biggrin.gif
Thats what I tell myself when im worried or down. Doesnt really help though.
I try and watch TV especially comedy channel. However when I think of the times when I was happy it makes me teary eyed
lilmissme
11-24-2002, 11:13 PM
Ashlee - Hey! Thanks for the reply! I'm doing okay today... well right now at least. It was a really not-so-good day today but oh well... stuff happens. It's hard not to think that I'm not wasting people's time and space. I've always thought that and it's a tough 'cycle' to break. I try... but you'll hear it from me quite a bit I'm sure. Yes, we did "speak" on another forum http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif How are YOU doing?!
Tapio - Ohhh, if only I could just snap out of it!! That would be fabulous! Or just get over it. *bleh* It's not that easy though. I try to do different things when I'm really down but sometimes it's soooo difficult to cuz I just don't care. You know? How are you doing??
Anyways, I'm tired http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/tired.gif and I gotta work in the morning. Take care cuz I care. Nighty night all http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/wave.gif
Okay... so we've established that in this instance I was NOT imagining things... if only that were always the case! http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/eek.gif
I know exactly what you mean about always thinking that you're wasting people's time as I - and many others here at the boards I'm sure - have felt that way in the past. But that's just that terrible depression that's making you think like that - those feelings of worthlessness... but it's just not true! You are worth it, just keep reminding yourself that. If you feel like you're wasting people's time here just go right ahead and post because all the replies you will receive will just prove to you that NO person's time has been wasted! http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/biggrin.gif Well... hope I made sense there!
I'm fine, thank you for asking. http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif Just very very tired!
I also know that you can't just 'snap out of it'. We all know that, as Tapio has just mentioned. http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif Depression is an illness that you can't just 'be over' one day - you have to work long and hard for recovery but by all means, it can be done!
Hope you had a good rest! http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/yawn.gif
Take care,
Ashlee
Tapio2
12-04-2002, 02:10 PM
I hate it when im having fun with friends or having a conversation and suddenly i think about death or other scary stuff and the person im with asks me "are you ok there?" I just get lost in my own thoughts some times
lilmissme
12-04-2002, 02:28 PM
Whoooo me too. Happened to me last night when I was at a dinner theatre for my work's Christmas Gathering. I really don't remember parts of the play becuz I was off in that 'nasty' land. It sucks huh?
