nyxin
01-29-2006, 11:04 AM
ok-- no need to point out that i have done this to myself, but if there is any one out there that could help me fix this situation.
the problem is that i can not get my 10 month old to fall asleep or go back to sleep with out a bottle. with my forst son, i NEVER NEVER NEVER left a bottle in there with him, he never got any blankets inhis crib, no pillow, the works. with #2 and the dynamic of dealing with #1, any business and running the house, i am totally exhausted. DS falls right asleep with the bottle, no problems at all. He does have a pacifier, but isn't too fond of it, kinda hit or miss. both boys share a room, so i don't want the little one blowing his lid and making it horrible for the 2 1/2 year old. so as of right now, Momo (Morgan) gets a bottle at bed time, wakes up at midnight for another, and again at about 4 am for another. as you can imagine he is pretty soaked by morning. he eats all day long, and i really push the solids in the evening, i have tried nothing but warm water so he doesn't think there is much to wake up for, tried to sooth with the paci, not much there. he acts as though he is actually starving. is this possible? there has been about 3 times in nearly 11 months that i have slept through the night. i am soooo over this!
HELP!!!
the problem is that i can not get my 10 month old to fall asleep or go back to sleep with out a bottle. with my forst son, i NEVER NEVER NEVER left a bottle in there with him, he never got any blankets inhis crib, no pillow, the works. with #2 and the dynamic of dealing with #1, any business and running the house, i am totally exhausted. DS falls right asleep with the bottle, no problems at all. He does have a pacifier, but isn't too fond of it, kinda hit or miss. both boys share a room, so i don't want the little one blowing his lid and making it horrible for the 2 1/2 year old. so as of right now, Momo (Morgan) gets a bottle at bed time, wakes up at midnight for another, and again at about 4 am for another. as you can imagine he is pretty soaked by morning. he eats all day long, and i really push the solids in the evening, i have tried nothing but warm water so he doesn't think there is much to wake up for, tried to sooth with the paci, not much there. he acts as though he is actually starving. is this possible? there has been about 3 times in nearly 11 months that i have slept through the night. i am soooo over this!
HELP!!!
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dizzygirl
01-29-2006, 02:23 PM
Oh, boy do I feel your pain. Ds is 9 months old, and can't get to sleep with out nursing and me laying there with him. He too is up all night nursing as well. I know that some people will tell you to let them CIO, but I can't do that, not interested at all. I will look back to see what people suggest, I could use the help too, I am soooooooooo tired!
Gayle0000
01-29-2006, 03:25 PM
We have let our daughter CIO & have been doing it for about a month. We swaddled her at bedtime & did the last feeding, and that was the only way she would go to sleep...swaddled and full stomach. Our pediatrician said to stop that (at 4 month checkup) because she needed to learn to put herself to sleep, so we started CIO that day of the Dr. appointment. CIO has worked awesome for us. It's been about 4 weeks now and I can put her in her crib wide awake...and is asleep on her own within 5-10 minutes now...she'll grunt and whine a little for that time, but otherwise bedtime is no problem now. About half the time she doesn't cry at all. I always offer the pacifier, but she doesn't take it much anymore. CIO only took about 4-5 days before we saw signifigant progress.
As for the middle of the night feedings...on that same night we started CIO, I quit feeding her at all hours, and changed it to letting at least 8-10 hours go by from the last feeding (per the pediatrician). I got a ton of slack on this board for saying this...people suggested I was starving the baby...but that couldn't be farther from the truth. Actually, Ava could have cared less whether she got fed in the middle of the night. She just had this internal alarm clock that told her she was going to get fed...so she woke up for it, and wasn't able to put herself back to sleep at that point.
Now, Ava will go to bed at 8:30am...she stirs around 3am but can settle herself just fine...and then wakes up to be fed somewhere between 5am-6am...then goes back to sleep until about 8:30-9am.
I'm not trying to convince you to let your baby CIO it it's not something you want to do...I'm saying it has worked like a charm for us.
Gayle
As for the middle of the night feedings...on that same night we started CIO, I quit feeding her at all hours, and changed it to letting at least 8-10 hours go by from the last feeding (per the pediatrician). I got a ton of slack on this board for saying this...people suggested I was starving the baby...but that couldn't be farther from the truth. Actually, Ava could have cared less whether she got fed in the middle of the night. She just had this internal alarm clock that told her she was going to get fed...so she woke up for it, and wasn't able to put herself back to sleep at that point.
Now, Ava will go to bed at 8:30am...she stirs around 3am but can settle herself just fine...and then wakes up to be fed somewhere between 5am-6am...then goes back to sleep until about 8:30-9am.
I'm not trying to convince you to let your baby CIO it it's not something you want to do...I'm saying it has worked like a charm for us.
Gayle
shelliam
01-29-2006, 03:41 PM
I did the same thing as Gayle. DS now 2 did that to us for about 10 months and our dr told us to try CIO. He has been a great sleeper ever since. DD stopped at waking for 12 hours at about 4 or 5 months when we did this. She now sleeps from 9-8:30am. At 11 lbs they should be able to go all night without a feeding and are just waking out of habit. If my baby was underweight or needed special care I wouldn't let go without a feeding but she's healthy and plump. BTW it was alot harder for me to do this with DS he was older and he was my 1st so it was torchure to hear him cry. I helped myself alot by starting with DD as soon as she slept her first night through. DS slept 12 hours a night for about a week and it was over for 6 months until we stuck to our guns.I am thankful we did because I truly believe it still helps him at 2 yrs.
rouge
01-30-2006, 10:59 AM
I just stopped the nursing all night. I rocked my son instead. Took a few days for him to get used to the new routine. Meaning he cried like a banchee. But I rocked him, kissed him, and reasured him that it was ok to sleep without eating. I never left him in a room to cry by himslef. Which is what CIO is. A baby crying in his loving moms arms is not crying it out. There are just times when you have to parent your children to sleep. If you keep doing what does not work for you, then you will be exhausted and that is not good for anyone. A baby learns more and does better and is less crabby when they get a full night of sleep. Most babies will not just sleep throught the night on their own. You have to show them how to do it. They have to break the habit of eating all night. When my son was crying all night to nurse, I knew it was becasue he was not used to it this way. It may seem like they are suffering but they are really just saying "Hey - what's going on here, where is my bottle". They are not in pain and once they get used to the schedule they will not be hungry at night. They will just eat more during the day.
It's: This, CIO, or doing what you are doing until they are 5. You have to decide. I have a friend with a 2 year old who wakes up over and over at night. She is crazy tired, but will not parent him to sleep. It's what each mom can do. Buy some sleep books and make a plan. Decide what will work for you and stick with it. If you change it up becasue your plan is not working right away you will confuse the baby. Make your plan then implement it. Do not give up or change your plan.
good luck :angel:
It's: This, CIO, or doing what you are doing until they are 5. You have to decide. I have a friend with a 2 year old who wakes up over and over at night. She is crazy tired, but will not parent him to sleep. It's what each mom can do. Buy some sleep books and make a plan. Decide what will work for you and stick with it. If you change it up becasue your plan is not working right away you will confuse the baby. Make your plan then implement it. Do not give up or change your plan.
good luck :angel:
AllTheLarsons
01-30-2006, 11:48 AM
Hy Niyxin -
Sorry to hear you're having sleeping struggles. I've always been super strict with sleeping since Baby #1 gave me absolute fits and I realized I needed a firm routine or I would lose my mind. I am not a good person when I am woken up at night at all! Of course, don't get me wrong, we still have the occassional bad nights where someone fusses or the routine is blown.
I agree with the CIO stuff everyone has said, but you have to do what's best for you. If sitting quietly on their bedroom floor while they cry the first few nights alleviates some of the guilt about CIO, then do that. No one, baby or otherwise has died from crying.
Here's my night routine, and I stick to it no matter what (we all follow this too, the bigger kids and me and DH). Between 6 and 7, we all sit down and eat dinner, babies ALWAYS eat with us, not before, not after (usually lasts about 20-30 minutes). Clean up, baths and teeth/pjs. Between 7:30 and 8, we have a 1/2 hour of quiet time, reading, doing a puzzle, whatever, all in the living room together, but no TV, radio, etc. Miss Drue (the baby) crawls around and plays, babbles, etc. 8:00, the Kindergartner goes to bed (she currently shares with Drue, the baby), no fuss, no bribes, just to bed with a kiss and hug. We have TV time with the big kids and the baby until 8:30, this is when Drue goes down after she's had a bottle, she's normally not asleep, but she has had the quiet, calm family play time. I put her in bed, dark room, kiss her and close the door. She will sometimes play, sometimes go right to bed, very very occassionally she'll fuss for a minute. I don't go back in. My next oldest is in bed at 9:00, then the oldest is in at 9:30. Unless Drue wakes in the night crying hysterically, we do not get up and get her. This doesn't mean she is always zonked the entire night, she wakes at times and plays with her crib aquarium (a huge lifesaver in our house).
I guess what I'm getting at is routine is SO healthy and kids thrive on it. Adults do as well, think about how good you feel when you have a plan for your day and the entire thing unfolds as you anticipated. Write down a plan, stick to it for 10 consecutive days, rearrange small bits of it that don't work after the 10 days if you need to do so.
Also, Morgan can go without the bottles during the night. They do have growth spurts where they honestly need the extra during the night, but you can tell the difference. Hang in there.
Sorry to hear you're having sleeping struggles. I've always been super strict with sleeping since Baby #1 gave me absolute fits and I realized I needed a firm routine or I would lose my mind. I am not a good person when I am woken up at night at all! Of course, don't get me wrong, we still have the occassional bad nights where someone fusses or the routine is blown.
I agree with the CIO stuff everyone has said, but you have to do what's best for you. If sitting quietly on their bedroom floor while they cry the first few nights alleviates some of the guilt about CIO, then do that. No one, baby or otherwise has died from crying.
Here's my night routine, and I stick to it no matter what (we all follow this too, the bigger kids and me and DH). Between 6 and 7, we all sit down and eat dinner, babies ALWAYS eat with us, not before, not after (usually lasts about 20-30 minutes). Clean up, baths and teeth/pjs. Between 7:30 and 8, we have a 1/2 hour of quiet time, reading, doing a puzzle, whatever, all in the living room together, but no TV, radio, etc. Miss Drue (the baby) crawls around and plays, babbles, etc. 8:00, the Kindergartner goes to bed (she currently shares with Drue, the baby), no fuss, no bribes, just to bed with a kiss and hug. We have TV time with the big kids and the baby until 8:30, this is when Drue goes down after she's had a bottle, she's normally not asleep, but she has had the quiet, calm family play time. I put her in bed, dark room, kiss her and close the door. She will sometimes play, sometimes go right to bed, very very occassionally she'll fuss for a minute. I don't go back in. My next oldest is in bed at 9:00, then the oldest is in at 9:30. Unless Drue wakes in the night crying hysterically, we do not get up and get her. This doesn't mean she is always zonked the entire night, she wakes at times and plays with her crib aquarium (a huge lifesaver in our house).
I guess what I'm getting at is routine is SO healthy and kids thrive on it. Adults do as well, think about how good you feel when you have a plan for your day and the entire thing unfolds as you anticipated. Write down a plan, stick to it for 10 consecutive days, rearrange small bits of it that don't work after the 10 days if you need to do so.
Also, Morgan can go without the bottles during the night. They do have growth spurts where they honestly need the extra during the night, but you can tell the difference. Hang in there.
Kiedy
01-31-2006, 01:36 AM
I want to try the CIO, but DH works at a stressful job, so he can't have no sleep for 5 days or however long it takes. Our condo is small, walls paper thin, how can I do it?? If we had a big house I could go and hide in one part of the house where it's not so...loud. Any suggestions?? Oh, ear plugs don't work.
AllTheLarsons
01-31-2006, 11:04 AM
Why won't earplugs work? Just curious. They make tons of different kinds that block out all different decibel ranges.
Isn't being a Mom one of the most important, stressful jobs there is? I'm not dissing your DH, but wow, wish Moms could say "I have a really stressful job and I can't go without sleep for 5 days", you have to pick your battles I guess.
Could you try easing in to the transition using the CIO method over a weekend, start Friday night, or whatever nights your DH has off of work?
Isn't being a Mom one of the most important, stressful jobs there is? I'm not dissing your DH, but wow, wish Moms could say "I have a really stressful job and I can't go without sleep for 5 days", you have to pick your battles I guess.
Could you try easing in to the transition using the CIO method over a weekend, start Friday night, or whatever nights your DH has off of work?
Gayle0000
01-31-2006, 12:36 PM
Keidy...I was thinking on the same line as Allthelarsons...I do understand DH has to work...same thing going on here. It's just a given that both mom and dad gets less sleep when a new baby comes, not just the moms. It's not your fault the baby needs to learn to sleep, and you shouldn't have to hide in another part of a house to raise a baby.
I say this because I was having exactly the same feelings, and I did everything I could to keep my husband happy & not have him feel the exhausting effects of a new baby. I was so stressed & exhausted & here my husband was pretty well-rested & able-bodied to help out. I realized one day that it's his baby too, and he would have to deal with it as well as me...because there was no way to do what needed to be done (CIO in our situation) without some disruption for us. I figured if it was my sole responisbility, then I may as well be a single mom. I told him I was going to start CIO and it might be rough for a while. He had a few rough nights along with me, but that's just part of the deal.
I say all this with the most sincere intentions. I'm not trying to slam the men at all. I guess if babies and bedtime was such an easy thing, we wouldn't be discussing it so much.
I say this because I was having exactly the same feelings, and I did everything I could to keep my husband happy & not have him feel the exhausting effects of a new baby. I was so stressed & exhausted & here my husband was pretty well-rested & able-bodied to help out. I realized one day that it's his baby too, and he would have to deal with it as well as me...because there was no way to do what needed to be done (CIO in our situation) without some disruption for us. I figured if it was my sole responisbility, then I may as well be a single mom. I told him I was going to start CIO and it might be rough for a while. He had a few rough nights along with me, but that's just part of the deal.
I say all this with the most sincere intentions. I'm not trying to slam the men at all. I guess if babies and bedtime was such an easy thing, we wouldn't be discussing it so much.
Celestine
01-31-2006, 02:40 PM
I'm with the last few posters. If you can get some help from your DH, go for it. I was the same as far as thinking that since he was working than I should have to get up ect. with the baby. Then it hit me that my job is every bit as hard as his around here. Taking care of a home and keeping baby happy all day is not easy as at all! It's true also that the DH's helped make the baby and in doing so took half the responsibiliy. I still try to do as much as I can without him but if I need help I ask for it. Try to do a schedule with him. It helps alot. I'm not knocking men either. Just saying we should give ourselves some credit for doing such a difficult job.
Kiedy
02-01-2006, 03:01 AM
Thanks guys,
during the day DH does help w/ the baby, and on nights when he is not working he does get up w/ the baby. It's funny b/c I thought it would be easy for him to try CIO, but he goes crazy (heartbroken) when DS cries in teh car when we drive far away. I can tune it out, but he just says: Do something, do something, don't let him cry like that. So, I'm not sure he would even let me do it, it may be too hard for him. Same thing for me. I tried ear plugs once, w/ my head under the pillow, I could still hear DS screaming (his crib is on the other side of the wall where our bed is).
Maybe one night we will both put earplugs in together. Thanks for the support anyways.
during the day DH does help w/ the baby, and on nights when he is not working he does get up w/ the baby. It's funny b/c I thought it would be easy for him to try CIO, but he goes crazy (heartbroken) when DS cries in teh car when we drive far away. I can tune it out, but he just says: Do something, do something, don't let him cry like that. So, I'm not sure he would even let me do it, it may be too hard for him. Same thing for me. I tried ear plugs once, w/ my head under the pillow, I could still hear DS screaming (his crib is on the other side of the wall where our bed is).
Maybe one night we will both put earplugs in together. Thanks for the support anyways.
Zayazmama
02-09-2006, 02:34 AM
ok-- no need to point out that i have done this to myself, but if there is any one out there that could help me fix this situation.
Nyx,
Hey girl!!! LOL....I SOOOOO feel your pain. Amayah (the baby) is like that too. She has a bunch of health issues so solids arent even an option at all...but she is up at all odd hours of the night wanting to eat. For sake of sanity, I cave. She won't go to sleep without her bottle. It is frustrating, isnt it. Girl, I have no idea how to fix it, but am quite certain that its going to be okay. I think the only thing that really concerns me about it is the whole tooth thing. But I will deal with that when I reach the bridge. One thing at a time.
You gotta do what you gotta do. When your little one is older, you may be able to negotiate .... trade the bottle for new toy at night, etc....something.
Not much help, but I do feel your pain.
Jen
ps....any sign of lawgirl? I know, completely off subject but it is sooo great to see people we were on the preggy boards with.... :)
Nyx,
Hey girl!!! LOL....I SOOOOO feel your pain. Amayah (the baby) is like that too. She has a bunch of health issues so solids arent even an option at all...but she is up at all odd hours of the night wanting to eat. For sake of sanity, I cave. She won't go to sleep without her bottle. It is frustrating, isnt it. Girl, I have no idea how to fix it, but am quite certain that its going to be okay. I think the only thing that really concerns me about it is the whole tooth thing. But I will deal with that when I reach the bridge. One thing at a time.
You gotta do what you gotta do. When your little one is older, you may be able to negotiate .... trade the bottle for new toy at night, etc....something.
Not much help, but I do feel your pain.
Jen
ps....any sign of lawgirl? I know, completely off subject but it is sooo great to see people we were on the preggy boards with.... :)
angelbaby4912
02-09-2006, 05:44 PM
:( I cry and say a prayer for all of the poor children of CIO parents.
JLMandPaul
02-09-2006, 06:57 PM
On the advice of the pediatrician, I used the CIO method just recently over the span of 3 nights as dd decided that sleeping was something she didnt want to do anymore, and being at the point of complete exhaustion and at my wits end, lo and behold, it worked. My dd is none the worse for wear and is perfectly fine and healthy, wakes up in the morning with a smile on her face and ready to start the day well rested and with a momma who loves her so much. No need to say any prayers for my happy baby. :D
Kiera1595
02-10-2006, 09:25 AM
I too have done CIO for both of my babies. And it has worked well for everyone. It's a great feeling to see that my DD who couldn't go more than 2 hours without waking ( at 10 months) has now taught herself to fall asleep on her own.
It's a choice.
But my babies don't need your prayers, :nono: they are two of the happiest kids on Earth. And I know that I am a great mother. Thank you.
It's a choice.
But my babies don't need your prayers, :nono: they are two of the happiest kids on Earth. And I know that I am a great mother. Thank you.
Gayle0000
02-10-2006, 09:46 AM
Yeah...not looking for prayers for my baby either.
nyxin
02-10-2006, 11:23 AM
Hey Ladies...
Let's not get off the topic. I know how sensitive the CIO option can be to some parents and everyone has a right to their opinion. I personally have not been able to do CIO as my second son has a cry as if he is getting tortured in there where as my first son had a soft cry that he rarely put any passion behind. He would cry for about 2 minutes and fall to sleep, the little one fights to the end! just as babies are different, so are parents and their styles. The whole world should be so lucky as the babies represented by the parents on these boards. We love them so much and just because we may have different views, it does not make one way wrong to another.
:)
Let's not get off the topic. I know how sensitive the CIO option can be to some parents and everyone has a right to their opinion. I personally have not been able to do CIO as my second son has a cry as if he is getting tortured in there where as my first son had a soft cry that he rarely put any passion behind. He would cry for about 2 minutes and fall to sleep, the little one fights to the end! just as babies are different, so are parents and their styles. The whole world should be so lucky as the babies represented by the parents on these boards. We love them so much and just because we may have different views, it does not make one way wrong to another.
:)
Celestine
02-10-2006, 11:47 AM
Have you tried something that makes white noise? The vacuum works for DS in the daytime or sometimes I put the stereo on the satellite station that plays all classical music. My aunt used to use her hair dryer. I know you can get the cds that just make the noises. I suppose even a staticy radio station would work.