Well, this morning Mom was complaining that "she never gets out of the house."

I build up my courage after the excursion at Walmart. Of course when I remind her of that, she doesn't remember it and says she would never do such a thing. So I decide on a smaller store. We need milk anyway.

We get the milk. Mom says, "She can't walk anymore." She's crying again.......

I tell ya, I couldn't believe it! This was no where near the walking we'd done in Walmart. We were very close to the front. I made a quick U-Turn and headed for the check-out before she froze in place as she'd done it Walmart.

When we got into the car, Mom "pooped" her pants. This was the first time for this to happen. She was crying......and embarrassed.....and apalled.

I told her she wasn't alone, we'd get some of those adult diapers. They wouldn't make them if there weren't other people who had occasional accidents. She was finally okay with that.

Now, though, I really feel limited to short drives only. I'm too afraid to try any kind of shopping. Yet, there's that gnawing guilt when she complains that she never gets out.

I guess I just need to know that it's okay to NOT take her shopping, despite her need to do it.

I just can't do it anymore.

My Mom also agreed to wear adult diapers after a few toilet accidents. BUT - she never did. She had 2 packages on her dresser but chose to wear regular underpants instead. I asked and she said sure, Ok, I will - and didn't.

Hi Sandy,

I'm sorry there's another problem to deal with but you can congratulate yourself on the smart choice of a small store, your quick reaction, and sparing your mother the embarrassment of pooping in the store. Small victories, but very real!!

Consider
* having your mother wear Depends on any outing.
* renting a wheelchair or a walker with a cushioned seat or only taking your mother to stores with wheelchairs.
* investigate whether local adult day cares are available, acceptable in appearance, and caring. That would be an outing for your mother, simple and pleasant activities, and a staff very practiced in fixing "accidents". You deserve the break, too!

Perhaps your mother's tears in the small store were because she felt the need to poop but didn't know what it was or how to express herself. I hope this isn't the beginning of more problems.

Be sure to take care of yourself in all of this. You're not doing anyone any favors by being stoic, putting yourself last, and soldiering on when your body and heart are breaking. Talk to Sally about how that plan will backfire on you!

(((((((((hugs))))))))) Barbara

Oh I hear ya !!!!!!!!! LOL

"The best laid plans of mice and men tend to go astray"

Now I don't know if that's a real quote, but it's something my Grandmother used to quote all the time when things went wrong that never used to .......

I think it means: We all have good intentions, but sometimes the God's just won't cooperate

Perhaps you could try the excursion again, but make sure you toilet her before going out. If she refuses, then she has to wear the diaper or she can't go out.

My ex-charge got very frantic one outing (remember, she had no words) absolutely beside herself, to the point of yelling, screaming and punching me ........ and it was only at the last possible second, I realised she needed to pee. I tell ya, I grabbed her hand and we BOLTED to the ladies AND just made it .....

She refused to toilet before going out (had the bladder of an elephant before this disease), but demanded to go out (or would leave of her own accord, that's scarier), so the compromise was to go to the toilet. I do it with my kids, I do it with myself .. and the way we 'worked around' the issues was "I'll just go to the loo before we go, would you like to go to?" ... that worked, sometimes.

Try and not isolate your mother. I know it's easier to keep her at home in controlled circumstances, (I lie, it's never easier, but it's the least confrontational) but she must have social contact .. so if you can, hire a wheelchair, or check the local paper for ones on sale, enquire at the local hospital or a nursing home of 2nd hand suppliers, it will be a worthwhile investment for everybody.

And now .. for you.

Sweetie, I put my charges first ... and EVERYTHING else on the backburner. My kids, my husband, my friends ..... I ended up being more isolated because it go to the stage that I couldn't leave the house without both of them. He was frightened to be left alone with her, and she demanded her social contact. I didn't get a heck of alot of help from other family members (although they now deny I ever asked)

I ended up with permanent heart palpatations, high blood pressure (and raising even WITH 2 diff. med's), panic attacks, depression, crying fits, sleepless'ness and that constant feeling of dread in my chest ......... it was NOT to my benefit, because I burnt myself out within months.

I have learnt some valuable lessons however, but at the cost of my health. My heart will never be the same. I have come close stroke and heart attacks, all created by stress. I also broke my C7 vertebrae and didn't have full use of my arm for almost 6 months .. but I kept on keeping on ...hence the healing didn't happen as well as it should have and I still have residual tingling and pain in my neck/shoulder/arm.

I don't THINK I was trying to be a martyr, but I do like to have control of situations (I'm a control freak ,,,, THERE .. I admit it LOL) and as the situation spun out of my control, I hung on even harder ...

I guess what I'm trying to say is by all means, love and support do wonders, and help and assistance has it's place, but you MUST make time out for YOU. You must call in other sources to give yourself that break. It is NOT going to get any better, but it CAN be more liveable by creating a routine for everybody that works to everyones advantage and not detriment.

Big hugs ......... I am with you in spirit.

Sally

I appreciate everyone's input so much.

Mom is good at going to the bathroom before we go anywhere. I don't even have to remind her about that. She said she had no idea that she needed to go. She seemed to be totally surprised by it.

I think the adult diapers would help mom as much as they did your mom, Martha. They would sit on the dresser no matter how often I suggested she use them. She doesn't remember she had an accident, so she doesn't think she needs them.

I tell you, Barb, I'm going to search for an adult day-care. We're a fairly large city, so there must be one. I think mom might enjoy it, too. She does miss her old friends since she moved in here.

Sally, I don't know how you did it so long. I can understand stress causing physical problems. After mom goes to bed at night, I can literally feel the knots in my shoulders relax.

I have 2 brothers, neither one is married, so I know that I won't have help from them since they both have jobs to go to. But they've both agreed that a nursing home is fine with them anytime I feel the need. There's no qualms about that. So that helps.

I think I'm my own worst enemy.

Okay Sandy,

To be your own friend, in addition to scoping out the adult day cares, also scope out the assisted living facilities, NHs, and whatever is in between and near your home and put your mother's name on the waiting list at the one you choose. If any friends of hers live at one, choose that one!

And Sally,

Your grandmother's quote is (in it's original Irish or Welch): The best laid schemes o' mice an' men gang aft a-gley. -Robert Burns, in the poem "To a Mouse"
My source notes that this is commonly misquoted as:
The best laid plans of mice and men often go astray, or
The best laid plans of mice and men go oft astray.

And there you have our lesson for today! Besides, as your grandmother knew, it's da truth!!

Group hug! Barbara :)

Hi all and especially Sandy,

My dad wears mens (& womens, my moms cheapness!) depends type pads. I do not know if he wears them at home and I know that he does not wear them at nite. He does not mind at all. But, he hates to keep them on after they get wet, so he sticks another in the car or in his pocket! And it takes him forever to go to the mens room when we are out!

That said, we are in the process of looking for a walker for my dad. We have a prescription from my dads family dr. for a walker and another one for a wheelchair. If you get the prescriptions, medicare will pay 80% and you only have to pay 20% !!! If you live in the U.S. The only hold up, is my mom. Remember she has dementia and uncontrolled diabetes. She tries to make him fold and unfold and pick them up in the store when we look at them. He cannot do it by himself and she thinks he needs too!!! My mom is just not all there and still somewhat in denial!

Anyway, she want it to be very light - like 10 lbs. or less. Most are 15 - 20 lbs. The best are around $100. and have 4 wheels and brakes and a padded seat and some have baskets too. That way they can walk and sit and sometimes even sit and move with their feet!!!

One of my jobs for the evening and tomorrow, is to look on the internet for a light and cheap one!!! This is my mothers request. There is one at Walmart, and Sams and other places too!!! The sooner he gets his walker the better. He gets very tired and dizzy and cannot walk too far.

I hope that yall do get a walker for your mom. And that you get her in an adult day care. My mom and dad would not do that yet. And my mom really needs the rest, badly!!! So, we are going to check out home health care, first! Just 1 - 2 times a week. The day care will probably come next and then the move!!!!

Good luck and do take care of you!

Love, Wannabe

HI again .. this is a good thread!!

With the walkers, my FIL had the wheelie walker with the basket, and let me tell you it was the best thing he ever bought himself.

It was often used as a wheelchair, or on really weak days, I would sit him on it and drag him off to the shower. It was useful for US too, to sit on and talk to him. On his good days, he would use his feet to propel himself. We've even had the ambulance drivers use it to get him to the door.

So, not only is it a great motivator in exercise and walking, but it's useful for just about anybody else you can think of!! Keep hunting (for wheely walkers - check ebay)

As for how did I do it for so long? Well, it wasn't that long. 6 months helping from a distance (next street down) and 18 months living with them. I STILL don't feel I did enough to help. I read Martha's story of 5 years and think there is no way on this earth I could have done it for that long .. I read other peoples stories and think ..wow .. they're doing so much more .. perhaps I could have tried harder ........ it's STILL a battle of emotions, but I guess early days because we've only been out of the entire situation for 2 months ...

Your your own worst enemy? I took that title years ago ........LOL .. but I'll share .........*grin*

Cheers ..

Sally

Sal, remember that although I lived with Mom for 5+ years, she was fully rational when I first came (well, getting weaker in body and mind, but not AD) and AD only began about 2.5 years before we made the switch. You took over 2 very sick people ... your 18 months counts as more than that because it was multiplied by 2! Plus the fact that I did have some help from my brother. You did a great job and there is no way you or anyone else could have done it any longer! No guilt!

You and I are charter members of the "I survived Alzheimer caregiving" club! There ought to be a medal!

Love,

Martha

Hi -

Wannabe, the main feathures of a good walker besides stability, is a wide well-cushioned seat. The one I got for my tiny mother came in several colors (I chose red) and had a wide seat that was inside the frame so was directly in front of her knees as she walked - but not in the way. The basket was located under the seat. It had hand brakes, but Mom never used them. It was pricey at about $250 but the prescription helped a lot. It was not heavy. Don't waste your money on a walker without a good seat and without wheels. Also, a very light weight walker will not provide needed stability. Take off the tags so your mother doesn't know the cost ot weight!

I'll do a search and if I find the one that Mom had, I'll add a note about the model and maker. Many of Mom's neighbors had walkers like this and those who didn't wanted one.

Back again with more info - there are 100s of walkers out there, but I was reminded of 2 additional considerations to use in choosing one. Your father's height and weight matter. Read the fine print so you choose one that will keep someone your father's helght and weight stable. The walkers are adjustable, but the moderately priced ones seemed to be for folks less than 5'10" and 200 lbs whereas some costlier ones accomodated 6'4" and 400lbs.

Cheers! Barbara :)

Mom does have a walker but to her it's the 4-legged monster. She won't go near it. We bought it when she had the dizzy spells. It's the $100 cheapie one though. I wish we had had this thread first. The nicer one sounds much better and more user friendly.

When it happens, I've encouraged her to take hold of the shopping cart, thinking she needs the support...and she just looks at me like I'm cukoo.

What is confusing to me is that she has no trouble walking at home and I mean long-stretches. I'm more likely to be telling her to stop.

I keep the bars up on the back door most of the time because she wants to sweep the back patio every morning and pick up all the dog poop (because dh only does it on the weekend.)I get winded long before she does with any kind of exertion. I think that's what is so strange about this situation. And, the main reason I let her talk me into it every time. It's almost like she just can't sit still. Unless, of course, Bob Barker is on TV.

I did take a clue from someone, I think it was Sally, and I've been saving a couple of extra shows to the DVR in case of dire need for peace and quiet.

Ahhhhhhh.....that sounded awful.

Sandy ..

no no! It does not sound awful. It sounds like normal human self preservation.

I have to tell you the story of Mom's last trip to my sister's. This was just about a year ago and Mom was at least in stage 4 of AD. My sister refused to accept it. I thought "NOW she will see her as she really is - now that she is with her every day for nearly 3 weeks!"

I waited and waited to get a call or email telling me, "You were right, Mom is absoutely out of it."

NO chance - I got a report the day Mom left (too late to make a permanent change to HER house!) saying she would miss Mom's "scintillating company". It got me very annoyed.

BUT the truth came out via my brother in law. He also sent email saying Mom was on the plane coming home -and mentioned they had bought her earphones and a portable CD player "so we didn't havre to listen to her stories all the time." Reading between the lines, I saw that Mom's incoherent, ceaseless asking of questions or repeating the joke (poorly) she had just tried to tell 15 minutes ago etc really DID make an impression on them, and they put her behind earphones to shut her up!

That felt good because now I knew they DID see 'somethng wrong' with her and all the rest were either denial or made up fantasies ...

It is OK to get her to sit down and give you a break .. whether it's your 'twin brother' Bob Barker or anything else - it is OK!

Love,

Martha

Hi Sandy,

I'm sorry there's another problem to deal with but you can congratulate yourself on the smart choice of a small store, your quick reaction, and sparing your mother the embarrassment of pooping in the store. Small victories, but very real!!

Consider
* having your mother wear Depends on any outing.
* renting a wheelchair or a walker with a cushioned seat or only taking your mother to stores with wheelchairs.
* investigate whether local adult day cares are available, acceptable in appearance, and caring. That would be an outing for your mother, simple and pleasant activities, and a staff very practiced in fixing "accidents". You deserve the break, too!

Perhaps your mother's tears in the small store were because she felt the need to poop but didn't know what it was or how to express herself. I hope this isn't the beginning of more problems.

Be sure to take care of yourself in all of this. You're not doing anyone any favors by being stoic, putting yourself last, and soldiering on when your body and heart are breaking. Talk to Sally about how that plan will backfire on you!

(((((((((hugs))))))))) Barbara

YES! Excellent suggestions.

I don't want to make light of this, but I just want to set a litte more jovial mood: I have a two year old who seems to poop at all of the most inopportune times--stores, in the pool, on the ground, :D :D :D
Don' even ask about the 'on the ground' episide. ;)

by

Hi again -

I suppose Mom's walker was most like the Nova Cruiser Getgo #4203. You can see it on-line if you do a search. At one on-line site, it was just $100. There's one at Target if it's for your mother and not your Dad (where did I get that idea?? :eek: ). It's height/weight limits might be okay for your mother.

When I first gave Mom her walker, she treated it with utter distain, pushing it far ahead and walking to catch up while clinging to me. You should have seen her childish facial expression of victory! :rolleyes:

When your kids are little you're told not to use the TV as a babysitter. True, that's a bad idea for budding minds. Our bundles are past that concern. Sadly, their brains aren't budding in the least. A TV babysitter that they enjoy and that makes them feel like they're with a friend is just perfect! What could be nicer?? Record lots more Bob Barker. You're going to need it and will be glad you did.

Please don't be so hard on yourself. You didn't make your mother sick and you would cure her and every AD victim if you could. This is a disease that is so distructive that you just do what works and doesn't hurt anyone!! For those things that do work and buy us a little peaceful time, we're thankful.

Group hug!! Barbara :)

That's so true, Barbara!

You reach the point where....if it makes them happy and isn't harmful, it's okay.

The other night when Bush was giving his State of the Union Address, I was out of the room when it began. I heard Mom giggling and clapping and came to see what she was doing.

She watched that entire speech with glee, clapping joyfully each time the audience did and ready to jump to her feet when he received a standing ovation.

She didn't have a clue what he was saying, but she had a joyful hour just clapping with the audience.

Well, this morning Mom was complaining that "she never gets out of the house."

I build up my courage after the excursion at Walmart. Of course when I remind her of that, she doesn't remember it and says she would never do such a thing. So I decide on a smaller store. We need milk anyway.

We get the milk. Mom says, "She can't walk anymore." She's crying again.......

I tell ya, I couldn't believe it! This was no where near the walking we'd done in Walmart. We were very close to the front. I made a quick U-Turn and headed for the check-out before she froze in place as she'd done it Walmart.

When we got into the car, Mom "pooped" her pants. This was the first time for this to happen. She was crying......and embarrassed.....and apalled.

I told her she wasn't alone, we'd get some of those adult diapers. They wouldn't make them if there weren't other people who had occasional accidents. She was finally okay with that.

Now, though, I really feel limited to short drives only. I'm too afraid to try any kind of shopping. Yet, there's that gnawing guilt when she complains that she never gets out.

I guess I just need to know that it's okay to NOT take her shopping, despite her need to do it.

I just can't do it anymore.

Oh Sandy....I hear you on this one. My mom complains that she is a 'prisoner' in her own house; that dad and I go and she isn't invited.
:rolleyes: We both ask her to go places, and she makes up excuses to not go. Then lays the guilt trip either before one of us leaves to our errands, or when I come back, especially if I buy something for myself. I try to buy clothes for her, but she always finds something wrong with them, so I end up taking them back.

Our washer pooped out a couple of days ago, so dad told her yesterday morning that they were going to look for a new washer that morning....mom didn't want to go. Dad told her he wasn't going to pick it out...he wanted her there to pick a new one out. Well, I guess she didn't go, so dad had to pick on out. The morning that I discovered that the machine wasn't working, I told her and asked her where she and dad had gotten it....she didn't remember getting it, and said "Where did you guys buy it?" I told her I didn't buy it...THEY did...she said, "I've never lived here with your father before." :eek: I wanted so say, "So, what...did you conceive me by the Immaculate Conception then?"

These guilt trips are the hardest thing, other than the constant anger, to deal with. You're darned if you do, darned if you don't.

Hi everyone,

Thanks for all the stories and ideas about wheeling walkers!!! As Sally calls them. Actually that is a perfect name for them! Thanks Barbara, for the search. I will look them up this afternoon. I same the one at Sams, and my mom thinks it is too heavy!!! The one at Walmart (in the store) has to be put together, so cannot try it. I think it is 12 lbs., tho.

My dad weighs less than me or my mom. So, he would use the lighter one. And we do want a nice padded seat! I think it would be great, if my mom would just relent and let us get one!!! I have the prescription, I guess that I could go and get it and then tell them. Except..... She might get a cheap - wobbly one - at a garage sale or the dollar store!!! This is one thing that you do not want to get there!

Thanks again. I enjoyed the stories too. They are sort of funny in a way. But only if you look back. Not at the time they are happening!!!

You should see my dad in the car sometimes!!! He does not always shut his door. I do not always notice. So, we are driving down the road and he opens his door, to shut it better - at 45 MPH!!!!! I tell him, he cannot do that unless we are stopped!!! I just am going to have to pay more attention! I need another lesson ladies, in listening and watching. I am doing better on the being nice and slow and understanding. Not perfect, but better! :>

Take care.

Love, Wannabe

Ah, Wanna,

The time has come to just get the walker and your Mom can deal with it!! Choose her favorite color and that may help a little - although my mother forgot her favorite color along with the rest of her knowledge. We're talking about your father's safety so action is better than keeping Mom happy. You can always tell her it was on clearance sale!! As I concluded, whatever keeps a fall from breaking their bones is a good thing.

Actually, sometime when Mom was living at the ALF and I'd gone back to TX, she started using the walker proudly every waking moment. When I returned to Richmond about 6 weeks later to close on our house, she was using the walker as if it were attached to her. She loved to stop, turn and sit on the seat to talk with someone. She had her Bible, kleenex, and a few favorite photos in the basket and there they remained because she forgot they were there.

I formed the opinion that Mom rebelled against what I said, but meekly (usually!) obeyed the staff members at the AFL and NH. Sometimes she'd grumble about one of the staff making her do what she didn't want to do and then she'd tell me she didn't like that person anymore. She was actually nicer when living at the ALF and I supposed it was because she could relax as she had no responsibilities and no need to exert the effort to keep house, cook, clean, and all the things she'd tried so hard to keep doing. Her own constant confusion was upsetting to her and made her grumpy and easily angered. She was difficult to be with. Sound familiar?

How goes the effort to drag the doctor to a diagnosis for your mother and to her getting meaningful help? When she's wild with anger, call the ambulance as Sally mentioned. That will start the ball rolling! Delay isn't helpful to her, either, and is most frustrating, hurtful, and frightening to you and your father. You can also take her to the doctor and then intentionally make her angry...... yikes!

Hang in there! We're proof that you'll make it!!

Hugs - Barbara :)

ps - yep, you'll have to close your father's car door for him before you get in the driver's seat. Maybe even buckle him in, too. The time has come to treat him a bit like a child except that he won't need the booster seat! Safety first!

Just a note about the Walkers.

I checked the internet and Ebay. There are some good buys out there.

Ebay had them from $92-$159. Some with free shipping. Red or Blue. If you get one that way, though, be sure to check the Sellers feedback rating. (just a caution!)

Hi Barbara and Sandyspen,

Barbara, I do not know who is worse at times, my dad or my mom. My dad is supposed to be the further advanced as far as AD and dementia, but last nite, my dad was making more sense than my mom!!! I think it is because my mom does not always take her diabetes pills and her aricept. My dad tries to take his everyday. May miss one day a week! That is what we need to home care person for. To give my dad his pills every am! But, he takes the most (and the most important) in the evening!

I am going to have talks with my dads doctor (family) today. And my mom dr. also! My mom will not like it if she finds out, but that is just tuff stuff!!! You are right about buckling him in and shutting his door for him. I guess I need to start doing that now!

Sandy, what is a seller feedback? And where do I find it on ebay. I have never bought or bid on anything on ebay before.

You know - when I went with my mom 2 x to her dr. (family), she held it in (the anger), until we got home or until the next time I talked to her or the next time I came over! She does not want me to go anymore. That is why I need to talk to her dr. To make sure that she is told to bring me, next time she has to go and get meds!!!

Thanks for the help - I need it. In anyones opinion, is there any way to make sure that a AD or dementia patient gets all of their correct pills (they are already in a S-S 2x day container) every day? They still live together by theirselves and I live 1 hr. away. My sister lives 3 - 4 hours away. If I could get them to move to an ASL, they would have to go up to the medicine window and take them right then and there!!! Wouldnt that be nice??? Plus my dads family dr. is the visiting dr. at the ASL/Alzheimers place, that is closest to their house and the cheapest!!!

Thanks again.

Love, Wannabe

Wannabe,
I tell ya, I never found any way to make my Mom take her pills. I had the little box with each day labeled. Mon-Tues-Wed.

Eventually, she didn't know what day it was. I went over on Tuesdays, so I would tell her to open the box and take one each morning when she woke up, no matter what day.

When she stopped doing that, I would call and remind her every morning. But eventually, she would tell me she had taken it but when I arrived for my weekly visit, all pills were still in the box. None taken.

In the beginning she was only on Zoloft so it was no catastrophe if she did miss one every now and then. Now, it's the "dizzy pill," and High Blood Pressure and the Zoloft. I hand them to her every morning with the water to swallow them. They would never enter her mind, otherwise.

Wannabe, Ebay is a great place to buy and I shop there often. But, it might be a pain in the neck if you aren't already registered. You have to register at Ebay, then register at Paypal to send payment. (Some sellers take personal checks/money orders.)

Then there's a little number beside each Seller's name. If you click that number, it will open another page so that you can see what people say who have bought from them before. It's a good way to learn if they are quality sellers. I wouldn't buy from anyone who's number beside there name was less than 100 and who's % of good feedback was less than 98%.

To find any item on Ebay, you just type what you're looking for in the Search Box at the top of the page.

Hope that helps!

Dear Wannabe,

In my opinion the answer to your question is a resounding NO. They cannot remember whether they took their pills or not. They stop understanding what the 7 day box means. They forget which day of the week it is. It is too much to ask of them - they can't do it, and missing doses of prescribed drugs is doing them a great deal of harm.

They really really need someone to come in and see to it that their meds are taken correctly.

My Mom used to take 2 or 3 days at once, or none at all .. and if I confronted her on it she was astonished. No way! I didn't take all 3 days! I didn't forget! You must have put two days worth in that compartment. You must have left 3 days empty. I didn't do it! (just like the pile on the bathroom floor was not hers!!)

OY! It is a hard job .. get all the help you can. Assisted Living seems to me the minimum your parents need, with nursing homes on the list somewhere after that ...

Good luck with it ... all you want to do is preserve their lives and health. Do what you have to do! (NOT move in with them, NOT move them to you!!))

Love,

Martha

Ah again!

You're the parent now and must do whatever keeps the ditsy parents safe whether they're happy about it or not. My mother didn't want to move AT ALL. She loved her little house. I told her it was not her turn to live in a house all alone anymore. It was her turn to have a sunny home with a cook and lots of friends to talk to. I didn't give her a choice beyond choosing one of two ALFs. Both were convenient for her older sister to drive to for Sunday peanut butter sandwiches (really!) and ice cream, but she had friends at one and that's the one she chose. Given her real first choice, Mom would have stayed home alone - and nothing good could have come of that.

At that facility, for an extra fee the medication nurse brought the meds to the patients and watched them take the pills. That same nurse put in the eye drops for those who needed them. There is no other way to assure that the AD patient will take the right medicine in the right amount at the right time. Those little daily pill containers only work if they open only one at the correct times each day - Martha's mother took 3 days worth in a day and didn't remember doing it. My mother used her Glaucoma drops twice in 10 minutes while visiting my home. Sad, but true. As long as your parents are in their home, you will never know who takes what pills when or if they take them at all unless they have a bad reaction and someone finds them.

My little soapbox is that you have to keep them safe when they forget how to be careful or why to be careful.

On eBay, the seller feedback is a list on comments made my previous customers about the service and products they bought from that seller. It's located just under the seller's ID in the little box on the upper right of the screen. I'd say to get the walker locally just so you can actually see it, touch it, and lift it before you buy it. That's just my opinion, I'm almost an eBay junkie on other things!

Good that you're talking to your mother's doctor, but you cannot rely on your mother remembering that her doctor told her to bring you. I just told my mother it was my job as her daughter and I had to be there because I loved her. Smile and just be matter of fact. Don't debate. Use this conversation with the doctor's office to talk about how hateful, paranoid, and scary your mother often is and politely demand that she be reevaluated.

It ain't easy, but it's necessary.

Wishing you well! Barbara :)

Well yall!

I am so mad!!! I just typed this nice long reply!!!!! :< And stupid Yahoo knocked me off, right in the middle and did not save it!!! So, I am fixing to go to bed! I will reply in the morning. I really thank you guys for all your help and advice and such. And I will have a nice little talk with Yahoo in the am, too!!!

Everything that all of you say, is so true!!! And I know it, I just shove it to the back of my mind!!! Way up high in the back! :> I will come back in the morning. Perhaps type 2 shorter ones, instead a 1 giant one!!! :>

Good night and sleep tight!!!

Love, Wannabe