Maybe i'm destroying my own life.Hi everyone.I'm a 22 year old girl who started feeling depressed and having anxiety since i was 17 years old.I'm afraid when people look at me,what they think of me and if they are judging me.Anyway i love fashion and would love to work in that field.But i can't leave my house,i hardly can go to the mail box and pick up my mail.i'm afraid to be around people,i sweat and my heart start racing and i get this hot flushes.My boyfriend tells me i need to relax and enjoy my life,but i try my best.I'm now on my job search and i hope i open up and can be around people.It's so hard.My father suffers from major depression and he sin't working,he alwyas complains and he is off medication,he doesn't like the pills and i see my mom going trough a really hard time dealing with him.I don't want to be like him,but each day i do feel i'm becoming my dad.My boyfriend loves me so much and he doesn't know how to help.I cry everyday,don't want to feel this way anymore.I can't go to the doctor,i don't have insurance.I would like to get my life together and be happy and would like to get some professional help.Please write back to me and give me some advice,please.I don't want to end up like my dad and cry all the time.I'm too young to be sad,i have my whole life ahead of me and have a little hope left.Please help.Thank you for taking your time to read this.

Jenna, I'm sorry things are tough. Life itself is tough to deal with. You do need some help if you can't even hardly go out of your house. I'm 24 and I don't have any insurance but there is help out there. I go to a mental health facility and I get my meds for free and free counseling and a case worker that works with me to overcome some of my fears...I have depression,anxiety,derealization,deperso nalization,ocd and agoraphobia.....Just my opinion but sounds like you may have some agoraphobia which can cause depression. Or vise versa I guess. I feel for your dad,having depression is not easy at all and it effects everyone around you that care. My doctor tells me it's good to have the people who are around depressed people all the time to have counseling themselves just so they can talk about it and it's good to have a support group so your mother doesn't feel like she's alone. I incourage you to seek help and try and find something that you can afford or maybe even find some free help. Sounds like your boyfriend will be there for you and help you,So take it and I hope you can get some help and take care http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif