I'm a 16 year old male and I'm slowly going insane due to depression. It's like I have clinical depression (the chemical imbalance) along with depression caused by trauma (dad was just added to heart transplant list, and we just moved to a new house against my mom's wishes...my old house was the only house I had ever lived in and she loved that house), so needless to say I'm a mess.

The second semester of school starts for me tommorow and I don't think I can handle it. This break has been so great for me, just being by myself all day was awesome. But now I have to go back and face all my friends (few of which I actually like) and all the teachers and useless homework and stress.....I just want to run away so bad. I want to run away to a big city and just start over completely; just completely cut off ties with EVERYONE I know and start over.

I seriously want to drop out of high school because I know I have no future in academics (my grades are slipping rapidly due to loss of interest) and I know any job I get in the future WILL not be due to a college education, so in my eyes just going is pointless. I haven't had a girlfriend in like....damn....3 years I guess? I'm so shy....I don't know what to say to them anymore...it's been too long. My friends look down on me because of this I'm sure, but I don't really care because I seriously hate most of them, but I always act cool when I'm with them.

It's strange because my social problems began in 8th grade, back when my life was incredibly good, so I know it's not due to my other problems; I think I'm destined to be a loner but at times I want to go back to some of the times I had in 6th-7th grade because I just generally loved my friends back then. I had a great time, all the time because my circle of friends was so close. But now I have nobody....I have "friends", sure, but I haven't done anything with anybody in FOREVER, and I am ashamed of it but it makes me happy to just stay away from people.


I know this sounds like I am rambling but I have known a post like this has been a long time coming. The depression is eating away at me slowly...I don't know what the heck I am supposed to do. My mom thinks I should see a doctor, but I am so messed up mentally that I don't think anyone could help me. I also refuse to take any medications because of side effects and I don't want my head to be messed with any more.

Wow, this has gotten really long and there's still so much more I could write....maybe I will tommorow, but I don't know if anyone would wanna read it. For anyone who does read this, THANK YOU for your time, lol....

[This message has been edited by Scooterman (edited 01-06-2003).]

Scooterman.....I am deeply sorry to hear about your father,I WISH HIM ALL THE LUCK IN THE WORLD. This is something that would be very hard for you and you need someone you can talk with about this and cry and let it out. I'm also sorry to hear about your mother being upset she had to move.

I think you should go to the doctor,you may feel as if no one can help you because this was my thinking also but they can and they will try to most likely put you on some kind of medication but if you are dead set against it then just tell them and maybe they could refer you to a therapist or something.....Medication can be very helpful....I was so crazy and disturbed in my mind that medicine wasn't even really a choice for me,I needed something. Even if you would decide to give medication a try therapy and counseling would still be good for you,to be able to get things out on a regular bases. I feel like I want to be alone most of the time and if you do have one friend you can count on though please try and hold on to that,everybody needs someone they can count on. Please go ahead and write all that you want. I will read http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif I am not a doctor and I don't play one on t.v http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif but I will read and respond the best I can. I can always be here just to give a hug if needed.


((((((((hugs for you http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif))))))))))

Hey. I can really relate. I'm fifteen-years-old. I'm extremely depressed, and I can tell you that dropping out of school is not the answer; it hasn't been the answer for me, anyway. I stopped going to school because of my depression, and now I wish I could return, but I can't because they are halfway through the school year, and I have done no work. (I'll have to start doing home schooling, and then work through the summer to finish before next year starts). Anyway, quitting school has made me the loneliest person on the face of the earth. I haven't seen a single person my own age in four months. I even wish I had the company of my friends from school who I don't even really like. I've cut off all ties with them, and I regret it. Now, I stay up all night and sleep all day and want to die all the time. This isolation has not helped, and I'm sure the similar longterm isolation of dropping out of school would not help you either.

I guess I shouldn't really be giving advice, since I'm not exactly faring well. But I wanted to respond to your post because I could really relate to a lot of what you said. I too feel like going back to 6th and 7th grade, but that's impossible. Life was good for me then too. I guess I could give the standard advice and say, "Go see a psychiatrist, and take medication," but in truth, that hasn't worked for me at all. It might work for you, though; it has worked for many people. I'd say give it a shot. I did. And if it doesn't work, then it doesn't work. You haven't lost anything except a little time and some of your parents' money.

As I read over my post, I realize that I've given you no good advice at all. But I'd just like to say that you're not the only one in this situation. I'm also a teenager, and I too feel like my depression is driving me insane. I too haven't had anything like a girlfriend in an extremely long time. I too don't seem to actually like anyone else. And I don't think running away is the answer. Anyway, I guess you should just know that you aren't alone here.

I enjoyed reading your message, and I'm sorry to hear about your father and your having to move.

[This message has been edited by Zosima (edited 01-07-2003).]

Hi everyone,

Scooterman, I think you should go to your doctor. What do you have to lose? Maybe he/she could recommend a good counsellor? Maybe you won't need medication? But you won't know until you investigate.

Zosima, how long were you seeing a therapist? You are so young. Is it possible you didn't give it a fair chance? Maybe you didn't find the right therapist for you. Please keep trying. I've been to 6 different therapists, only 2 of which I really liked.

You are both so young. You need to know that you don't need to face this on your own. There are also a lot of supportive people here (like West Virginia Girl) so you always have a shoulder to cry on.

Good luck. :smile:

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Canuck_Lady

Both of you young guys out there - hang in. You WILL make it through all this stuff called high school and the teen-aged games. Obviously, outside factors have a lot to do with what is happening in your head - your dad being sick, mom upset, tired all the time, etc. But it will eventually get better and the sun always rises - right? Both of you - find one or two friends to hang out with and get re-connected with them. TRY to ignore the negative things that the other kids say. (It happens to EVERYONE - that will never change)

Just try to work through it and try to find some help. I saw a counselor for almost a year when I was in college - no drugs, just talking about my problems for an hour once a week. That was a really good year for me - mentally. since you both are in HS - your counselor there should be bale to help, if you can't see a therapist. Afterall, that's one of the reasons they are there. Even a teacher you might like - find someone to talk to - other than a friend, you can talk to on a regular basis. Someone that might not be tied in real emotionally (that why I say not a friend - not on a regualr basis - plus, the friend just doesn't have the training you need)

keep your heads up. things will get better. that's a fact. remember, we have all been there, one way or another

I am a future teacher who is currently in college right now. I wanted both of you to know that I will always be here to hear you vent and that you should keep your heads up. Staying in school is probably one of the smartest things you can do for yourself right now. You may not want to go to college, but you should at least get a high school diploma because it is very hard to get jobs out there worth having, otherwise. School can be very difficult when you are going through depression, but just look at it like this. You can always look back and say....wow! I went to school, dealt with the new hormones, understood new emotions, and I was depressed. I think you should give youself a pat on the back now, just for trying so hard. Hang in there and please try to talk to someone. You cannot handle this alone! I am here and I am sure that you could find a teacher, a counselor, a therapist, anyone...just please dont try to handle this alone. I hope everything works out for you and you can always bring your grades back up. Just set goals for yourself and things will brightnen up.

[This message has been edited by ~liljenn~ (edited 01-07-2003).]