Hi, this is my first post here, I need help.I'm a 25yr. old male. I constantly think about dying. I know I have a long life ahead but this is driving me nuts. I feel like theres no point to life. No matter what you do in life you still gonna die. Sometimes I feel like I wish I could just get it over with and die. I don't think I would ever kill myself because I'm scared to die, but I don't want to live feeling the way I do.I'm scared of getting old. I started feeling this way about a week before Thanksgiving, and Ive been suffering ever since. I know it hasn't been that long, and other people on here have been depressed for years. but it's long enough for me. My grandfather who I was very close to passed away in april,(I found him)my grandma was in the hospital at the time.Now she is home in a hospital bed and I've been taking care of her since my grandpa's passing.Everone else in the family works, and I didn't have a job so the responsibility kinda fell on me. Anyway the shrink tried me on Zoloft and that made me feel like jumping through a window.Now I'm on Paxil and it dosen't seem to be working either. I just don't know what to do I want to be happy again and live life normally and not dwell on dying. Has anyone else experienced these thoughts?

Hi and Welcome http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/wave.gif

I have thoughs like this about half my day and it's everyday. I also think about the beginning of time and my life after death and this really has become obsessional for me and making my life a living nightmare. My phycitrist tells me when someone passes away that is close to you,you are likely to have these feelings and you have to deal with your feelings and allow yourself to grieve. I also had my grandpa pass away and about four years ago and then right after him my aunt passed away both from lung cancer,then my great grandma and my great aunt and then recently I had a friend who passed away http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/dizzy.gif It was all to much for me to handle but at the time I thought I was doing ok,but my phycitrist says I didn't have time to grieve for each person seperatly since they are all so close together.

How long have you been taking the paxil? I took paxil 40mg for four years and it helped me grealty for my anxiety. I don't know if the paxil stopped working for me since I took it so long or if I developed this depression and the paxil just wasn't enought to help me but needless to say I was a baskets case and had to change my medicine.
I am sorry,I have did nothing but talk about myself here. I apologize http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif

Do you have anyone you can talk to about how you feel and the thoughts you are having,the thoughts aren't abnormal because we all think this way from time to time but when they start consuming your life is when you need to get help. Hope all is well and take care http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif

Thanks for your reply, Don't apologize it helps to hear what others are feeling. About the paxil, the doc put me on a very low dosage due to my reaction to zolofts lowest dosage cut in half. They put me on 12.5mg. of paxil cr, but they told me to cut them in half and take for a week then take a full 12.5. Well after Zoloft I was kind weary, so I took a half of a half for a week. Which is only a little over 3mg. Well then I went up to a full half of pill and it made me feel more depressed then before I started on them.That only lasted a couple days, now I'm back down to a quarter of a pill a day and I still feel bad. I think I'm sensative to a/d's. Anyway my thoughts are definately obsessive, sometimes the thoughts are so bad that I actually get sick to my stomach and sometimes it almost turns into a panic. It's really destroying my quality of life. Again Thanks for the reply any input is greatly appreaciated. Thanks, Albie

I can totally relate to what you are saying,My thoughts just keep going and going till I become ill and have really bad headaches and throw up. It no fun at all. There has got to be something that can help you,I take effexor now,My doctor put me on this because he says that it works on both part of the brain and helps to current the chemical imbalance instead of just working on one side of the brain like most anti-depressants do. I don't really know if effexor is completely right for me cause I don't think it's really helping all that I need it to but I will stick it out till I see the doctor again. Are you in counseling or anything?
You can always talk to us on here but I do think you need someone to set down face to face and talk these things out with,Don't keep them bottled up inside. I wish I knew all the answers to the things I questioned but I have to come to relize I won't and well that makes me sad,but what else can we do. Life kinda sucks!
Take care of yourself and keep writing I'll be here http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif