okay well here's my "story"...

About 4 years ago, my father past away. I was 11 when it happened with a younger sister had had to pretty much raise since my dad's death. My mom is always at work( trying to support us) so i don't really complain. But my little sis does. she was 7 when it happened. Now i'm 14 years old.I'm a freshman in High School. So i am dealing with a death, taking care of my sister, school, softball, being a teenage girl(ya know how that is...),my grandfather is sick with heart problems, and my brother could possibly end up dieing because he drinks to much. So as you can see i have alot to deal with. I cry ALOT. I don't really talk about my problems because i hate it when people feel sorry for me. I've been thinking about seeing a psycologist, but not 100% sure. I'm tired, barely eat but somehow i'm gaining weight. i feel really sad like all the time. I don't have many friends because i don't really trust people. When i was in 7th grade is was fairly "popular", but then 3 months into the year my so-called "friends" started spreading rumors about me and verbaly harassing me. i felt so little. i hated my life.(and i kind of still do) So in 7th, i didn't have friends really. Like maybe 5 at the most. I haven't had any real boyfriends. I wish i just could have someone their for me. I would talk to my mom but i don't want to make her feel worse. And my uncle doesn't help much either. He calls me curse words, tells me i'm psycotic. And even worse calls my Dad a drunk right in front of me! I always feel bad about myself. So if anyone could give me some suggestions of what i should do, i'd love to her from you! Thank you all! Bye!

R.I.P Dad...

You certainly have your plate full.
Do not try to protect Mom, you need to talk to her unless you think she would become offensive.
How about a school counselor?
Try that as well.
Uncle is being cruel. He is doing the worst thing he could do in this situation. Perhaps he forgot that right or wrong, weak or strong, a child takes on the shame and blame of the family without help.
You miss your dad and that is very important for him to acknowledge. Uncle is way out of line and causing harm. If he can't be part of the solution he is part of the problem.
It is safe to say that more than likely you are having major stress issues and unresolved feelings about all of it.
Please find someone to talk to in real time.
It may be you will be able to see how to rid yourself of some of the emotional responsibilities you are carrying around.
Mom is an adult. She is still your mom with kids she needs to guide and advise. Yes , working is hard with kids when you are the only one doing so. But she needs to be a part of you in a parents capacity.
You are a thoughtful young person who has taken on too much.
As a Mom, I would want to know how my kids were internalizing things, especially major issues.
There are also support groups you could inquire about for teens if you can't get help with a counselor at school, please give that a try tho.
Talk to Mom, or sometimes, writing her a letter would help.
Express all that you feel, fears, anger, resentment etc. Not rudely of course but informative.
First, writing it down helps you first.
Second, it lets Mom know the status of her family.
Third, it gives you both a foundation on which to build and reconstruct.
I would like to see you get help in establishing your boundaries. Mom and you might need to set some for Uncle.
Children identify themselves with their parents. When Uncle criticizes your Dad , he is also attacking you at heart and he does not have the right to do this.
As far as the teen age stuff, it doesnt help with so much on your plate. Teen age years are hard for most unless they live a charmed existance. Most of us don't and didn't . It can be a painful time. The good news is that you are not a teen for long and eventually the world maturity level catches up to itself.
In the mean time, you need help establishing who you are, what your boundaries are and what your reponsibilities are. They need to be defined and if they are not, you need an adult help you to do this.

EJ had some great advice for you there. Let me add that if you barely eat but are gaining weight, the additional weight will make you tired and also maybe affect your self-image, especially at this age. Make sure what you do eat is healthy, not junk/takeout, have one multi-vitamin a day, and try to get regular, vigorous exercise. These steps will help lift your fatigue.

Sorry but your Uncle has some major issues and is cruel. Ignore him; who made him the judge of you or your father? Everyone has faults..perhaps your uncle needs some of his pointed out. No one can make you feel bad unless you allow it!

Anyway, I also would let your brother know how much you love him and would be hurt if he continues to drink himself into an early grave. Perhaps knowing how much you care might motivate him to care about himself more than he does right now.

You are burdened with too much at your age. Like EJ said, maybe mom could help; at least going to her might make you closer and more united in helping the family straighten out.

[This message has been edited by Jennita (edited 01-06-2003).]

You've already gotten some great advice. I would also like to add that if you have 5 friends then you are very lucky. As for the rest of them, if they are spreading rumours about you, they were never really your friends.

Navigating the teenage years is hard enough in itself without adding the responsibilities and stresses you are experiencing. You got good advice here. See a councellor someone that will be completely neutral and with whom you can get everything off your chest and it will be completely confidential. I wish I was there to give you a big hug ((((((((you))))))))) http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/heart.gif You take care of yourself also as you seem to take care of alot for a girl so young. Good luck to you Leah

Thanks Ya'LL I will try all of your help. I'm sooo glad to see people who care about everyone on here. Thanks again, I will keep you updated. Bye!