Today we were doing some table work and everything was going well. After a few minutes of coloring and singing, I put down two cards - the color blue and the color yellow. I asked her to match the blue balloon card she was holding with the blue color. She wouldn't do it. The kid can match - even with a row of 6 she can scan and match. This should have been a no brainer for her. She wouldn't do it. I tried all different ways of telling her, I showed her what to do, I finally told her to put it on top - she just wouldn't do anything. She sat there holding the card. She would tell me what she was holding, but she wouldn't put it down.

It was sooooo frustrating!!

After I gave up and gave her some juice, she pointed out different letters for me. I didn't try the matching again.

Are you doing an ABA program? In the beginning my son had no compliance. He would not do anything unless he felt like it. Since I knew this behavior would not cut it in our home life or school I always made my son do everything I asked.

If I had been doing that exercise with my son I would have said match the balloon card to the color and if he did not do it I would take his hand and make him do it. Then I would say Good Job!! You did the matching! My son is now 5 and to this day I only have to ask him to do things one time because he knows I do not put up with it. When he was four I had him in a Pre Kindergarten class and the teachers number one rule was. I will follow directions the first time they are given I said I really like how you think!

Kathleen i like this also.Wish that was done with my girl in the lower grades ,they would let her rest if she didnt want to do her work ,now in higher grade nope and it was hard to break her out of the rest thing.

Exactly breaking habits are almost impossible. The only thing you can do is be consistant and follow through. My son's Kindergarten teacher this year has a handful of kids with discipline programs. His teacher said I feel like I have to keep saying the same thing over and over. I felt llke saying that is because the kids know they will get 10 chances before she forces them to do anything. It is funny because it does not matter if your child has autism or not if a kid thinks they do not have to listen then they won't.

i agree with the hand over hand approach. it is one of the first things i learned when my son started ABA. It was difficult at first but, it really does teach our children that there are some things (like it or not) that they must complete. now, my son has learned that when he's asked to do something or complete a task (although he does complain while doing it) we expect him to do just that.....complete it.

I did hand over hand. We took a break because I was losing my temper. I came back after I had calmed down and had her do some more work so she wouldn't know she had gotten away with not working by aggravating me.

I am glad you followed through and did the hand over hand. In your original post you said you gave up and gave her some juice and I thought that won't teach her daughter to listen. Also like you said it was good you took a break since you were getting frustrated.

As long as you are consistant and ALWAYS follow through with having your child follow your requests it will get easier. My child has always loved praise. When I tell him what a good boy and a good listener he is, his face just lights up. My son's good behavior did not happen overnight. It was years of always following through that changed his behavior.

I had similar problems with my Autistic son (now 25) when he was very young. It seemed as if he'd just get stuck in the middle of a task. I've since learned that, in him at least, the Obsessive/Compulsive component of his Autism was getting in the way of him following through. His neurologist prescribed Prozac when he was 12 (for the OCD) and it cured the getting stuck problem right away. I was amazed at how much freer he became at learning new things after that.

I don't think E has OCD, but she does get stuck. She'll just stare at me as I tell her to do something she has done a hundred times - like pull down her shirt. It's so strange. What would I look for to be certain?

Yesterday she was stimming with some cards, so I lined up 6 and asked her to match and she did it all on her own - would pick up a card, match it, and then pick up another card to match.

I don't think E has OCD, but she does get stuck. She'll just stare at me as I tell her to do something she has done a hundred times - like pull down her shirt. It's so strange. What would I look for to be certain?

The behavior that my son's doctor asked about whenever my son appeared to outgrow his dose was his freezing in threshholds (doorways). But I saw the "getting stuck" behavior in everything he did before we introduced medication. The poor kid would have a forkful of cake halfway to his mouth and just freeze. That's when I knew it wasn't intentional and sought medical help for him.

For what it's worth, I think you should ask your pediatrician if your child can be evaluated by a neurologist or a psychiatrist. Either could determine whether or not medication might be helpful. Unfortunately, since our kids are not very skilled at expressing their feelings and because they have layers of behaviors, it's difficult to tell if medication will help unless you try it. Most doctors are very careful to prescribe a very small dose of a very benign medication when dealing with children, so the risk is almost always worth the possible gains.

I have to tell you that I was extremely cautious about giving my son (now 25) any kind of medication when he was little. I'm a bit of a health nut; probably couldn't fill an aspirin bottle with all the pills I've taken in my whole life. But I really regret not pursuing medication earlier for my child. Removing that OCD layer cleared the way for a lot of development. I wish I'd done it sooner.

Was he scared when he was stuck in thresholds? Everyonce in awhile, E won't cross over certain cracks in the driveway or go from the driveway to the sidewalk or from driveway to grass. However, if you distract her, she'll go over. Whenever she gets stuck like that, she acts real scared. She doesn't have a problem with steps or doorways. When she's stuck as in not doing an easy activity, she's not scared - just quiet. Actually, she'll either just stare at me or try to find some way to amuse herself rather than do what I want her to do.

Hi Sherri Eleanor,
I feel so bad for what you and your daughter are going through. I know how frustrating it can be.

To answer your question about my son,
Was he scared when he was stuck in thresholds?

When my son used to "get stuck," he didn't show much emotion. He really just looked frozen in time for a few seconds (sometimes more). But if I had to attach an emotion to him at that moment, I'd say he looked anxious, and maybe a little sad or frustrated. Then, he'd lift his foot to take a step and put it back down, again and again. Eventually he'd make it through the threshhold.

And, like I said before, all this stopped, along with lots of other behaviors, when he began a very low dose of Prozac. Of course, he's since been on various meds for the obsessive-compulsive portion of his Autism for many years and Prozac is no longer the best one for him.

By the way, my son's diagnosis is Autism. He's never had a primary diagnosis of OCD. It's just one of the symptoms of his Autism, like so many other kids.