cyt
02-05-2006, 10:41 AM
How long does this see sawing last? By that I mean flip flopping - you know, one time you talk to them and you think "Hey, they are okay" the next time you know they are so off the wall and can't remember a thing. Does anyone know about how long this stage lasts? When it comes and goes, and also I wonder why this happens. Is it because it is a slow progress through this horrible disease of AD? I treasure the good times and hate the bad. I just wish there were more of the good times and lucid moments. When do they get 'stuck' in the bad? Is it towards the very end? How long does that last? I'm just wondering about all of this - it is so strange. And frustrating, to say the least. My FIL has dementia and my aunt, AD. They both flip flop and I just never know how it's going to be. Take care all, and thanks for your input. C
p.s. I can see why others think they are okay if they don't talk to them much - they can seem so normal at times.
p.s. I can see why others think they are okay if they don't talk to them much - they can seem so normal at times.
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barbaric_yawp
02-05-2006, 11:11 AM
Yes, so frustrating. One moment my mom is very lucid, the other she forgets what I told her about the sex of my unborn child-- a grandmother should never forget when she gets the first word on something as important as this...
God bless,
B.Y
God bless,
B.Y
Sandyspen
02-05-2006, 11:26 AM
Cyt,
I don't know if it ever goes away. My mom is Stage 6 and there are hours where she seems totally fine.
My brother will visit and Mom will nod and agree with everything he says. So he leaves, thinking he had a delightful conversation with her. In reality, she didn't understand a thing he was saying....nor remember he'd even been here.
But, she does have moments. When she's reasoning with me: "why she should be allowed to drive" or "why she should be allowed to go back home and live alone." She makes perfect sense, a reasonable argument.
Yet, without my insistence, she would never shower, never eat a meal, never take a pill.
It's a mind-boggling disease, for sure!
I don't know if it ever goes away. My mom is Stage 6 and there are hours where she seems totally fine.
My brother will visit and Mom will nod and agree with everything he says. So he leaves, thinking he had a delightful conversation with her. In reality, she didn't understand a thing he was saying....nor remember he'd even been here.
But, she does have moments. When she's reasoning with me: "why she should be allowed to drive" or "why she should be allowed to go back home and live alone." She makes perfect sense, a reasonable argument.
Yet, without my insistence, she would never shower, never eat a meal, never take a pill.
It's a mind-boggling disease, for sure!
BarbaraH
02-05-2006, 11:47 AM
B.Y.,
It is true that a grandmother should never forget the exciting news about her coming grandchild, but it's par for the course with AD. Your mother cannot help it. So sad, but true.
I was sure that my mother could NEVER forget me, her only child, yet that did happen. Just 6 weeks after she was living alone and driving her car, she couldn't say how many kids she had when she was asked. She said, "I don't know, they just keep showing up." I will say that even after I was 'too old' to be her Barbara and then she became in her mind 'too young' to even have a child, Mom was always glad to see me. She'd smile even when she could no longer speak a whole sentance and after she could not speak at all. When Mom forgot me, it was startling, but not the heartwrenching trauma that I had imagined it would be.
Take care of you and you deal with this awful disease. Do I remember that you have a 2 year old? If so, take lots of pictures of your child and your mother soon. When the new baby comes, take more pictures. In the future, the kids will be glad to see pictures of this grandmother holding them.
Wishing you well - Barbara :)
It is true that a grandmother should never forget the exciting news about her coming grandchild, but it's par for the course with AD. Your mother cannot help it. So sad, but true.
I was sure that my mother could NEVER forget me, her only child, yet that did happen. Just 6 weeks after she was living alone and driving her car, she couldn't say how many kids she had when she was asked. She said, "I don't know, they just keep showing up." I will say that even after I was 'too old' to be her Barbara and then she became in her mind 'too young' to even have a child, Mom was always glad to see me. She'd smile even when she could no longer speak a whole sentance and after she could not speak at all. When Mom forgot me, it was startling, but not the heartwrenching trauma that I had imagined it would be.
Take care of you and you deal with this awful disease. Do I remember that you have a 2 year old? If so, take lots of pictures of your child and your mother soon. When the new baby comes, take more pictures. In the future, the kids will be glad to see pictures of this grandmother holding them.
Wishing you well - Barbara :)
LuvMyLilDoggie
02-05-2006, 06:46 PM
BY, are you having a boy or girl? When?
CYT, I remember my grandma at the very end still had times when she seemed better than others. But at the end, the good days were when she seemed quiet. The bad days were when she was accusing everyone in the nh of stealing her "babies". She had baby dolls that she used to keep on her bed. Toward the end, she would stuff them in her hamper and accuse everyone of kidnapping them.
By that time, she remembered no one except her oldest daughter's husband. We used to ask her who this one was and who that one was and she would say she didn't know. But when we asked her who my aunt's husband was, she'd ALWAYS say "Oh that's Lonnie!". And she was always right.
My dad also has AD and he has good days and bad days too. His dad was the same way too till the end.
It's frustrating not knowing what to expect day to day or even minute to minute sometimes. But it helps me to try and cherish the good times.
Love, Barb
CYT, I remember my grandma at the very end still had times when she seemed better than others. But at the end, the good days were when she seemed quiet. The bad days were when she was accusing everyone in the nh of stealing her "babies". She had baby dolls that she used to keep on her bed. Toward the end, she would stuff them in her hamper and accuse everyone of kidnapping them.
By that time, she remembered no one except her oldest daughter's husband. We used to ask her who this one was and who that one was and she would say she didn't know. But when we asked her who my aunt's husband was, she'd ALWAYS say "Oh that's Lonnie!". And she was always right.
My dad also has AD and he has good days and bad days too. His dad was the same way too till the end.
It's frustrating not knowing what to expect day to day or even minute to minute sometimes. But it helps me to try and cherish the good times.
Love, Barb