I've got a 10 yr old PDD-NOS son. My problem is, he's very impulsive... does NOT think before he says or does things. He has said very hurtful things to us and his sisters... then thinks he can make it "all better" by saying a quick, "sorry". We try to punish him by taking away some for his favorite things... but it still goes on and on.

He also is like a little parrot... repeats/mimics things he sees, whether on TV or from other kids... even a cuss word he read on the side of the school bus. He had no idea what it meant... just knew he was getting a reaction from the kids by saying it.

He has a hard time carrying on a full conversation of more than 2-3 exchanges. Has a hard time conversing with peers, reading body language, having empathy, etc.

Today I got a phone call from his school saying that my son decided to pull his pants down during lunch in the cafeteria... and said something like, "hey baby". :eek:

He's been told time and time again that that type of behavior is inappropriate... but it doesn't SINK in. Just like when he'll ask, "can we go to the library today?"... we say, "It's sunday- so it's closed"... 2 mins later, he'll ask the same question... and it's back and forth... so everytime he's reprimanded, it's like that doesn't sink in either.

I'm so frustrated... I'm debating having him spend more time in the resource room at school and less time with his big class. At least in the resource room, he can be called out on inappropriate behavior in a smaller environment... and not in front of the entire school. I think he would learn better within that setting as well (he's very behind his peers).

He would still have social interactions through youth programs at our church too.

What do I do? Is that a good option for a kid like this? His resource teacher has been very good with him... and has techniques to help on social skills... but is that the answer?

In my opinion I think this is the best solution all round.
If your son's behavoir is not great the children in the big class will eventually start to exculde him any way and he may even fall in with the wrong crowd as a result.
If he is in a smaller class with teachers who understand him and can work on the issues,this will help your him in the future. After a spell in the base class your son could then be reintegrated back into mainstream, when he has learnt more appropriate behaviors.
No matter how good a teacher is when they have a large class they find children like ours hard to deal with and can start to punish behavior instead of looking at ways of modifying it.
I wouldn't hesitate, I would move him now.

I've got a 10 yr old PDD-NOS son. My problem is, he's very impulsive... does NOT think before he says or does things. He has said very hurtful things to us and his sisters... then thinks he can make it "all better" by saying a quick, "sorry". We try to punish him by taking away some for his favorite things... but it still goes on and on.

He also is like a little parrot... repeats/mimics things he sees, whether on TV or from other kids... even a cuss word he read on the side of the school bus. He had no idea what it meant... just knew he was getting a reaction from the kids by saying it.

He has a hard time carrying on a full conversation of more than 2-3 exchanges. Has a hard time conversing with peers, reading body language, having empathy, etc.

Today I got a phone call from his school saying that my son decided to pull his pants down during lunch in the cafeteria... and said something like, "hey baby". :eek:

He's been told time and time again that that type of behavior is inappropriate... but it doesn't SINK in. Just like when he'll ask, "can we go to the library today?"... we say, "It's sunday- so it's closed"... 2 mins later, he'll ask the same question... and it's back and forth... so everytime he's reprimanded, it's like that doesn't sink in either.

I'm so frustrated... I'm debating having him spend more time in the resource room at school and less time with his big class. At least in the resource room, he can be called out on inappropriate behavior in a smaller environment... and not in front of the entire school. I think he would learn better within that setting as well (he's very behind his peers).

He would still have social interactions through youth programs at our church too.

What do I do? Is that a good option for a kid like this? His resource teacher has been very good with him... and has techniques to help on social skills... but is that the answer?

I think it's a good idea too. He will get more out of school that way. good luck!

I think you said it all when you said" it just dosnt sink in"... he very well may not understand you.....children repeat behaviors cuz they get the attention... they want.. weather it be negative or positive... when he asks you the same question twice.. insted of answering him a second time.. politely say...I already answered that question.. did you hear me...you said .. he acts like a parrot .. maybe he likes when you do too....maybe insted of having him say sorry for the mean things he says.. have the other children just walk away and you do the same.. give him no reaction...at all.. you may get suprized .. he may start saying hurtful things less.... does your son have other services involved.. BSC ..MT ..TSS...??

Even though Autism can't be cured by medication, a lot of the symptoms of Autism can be.

It's very possible that your son physically can't control his impulsivity and no amount of behavior modification will give him that control any more than it could give him the ability to fly. I think you should request a referral from your pediatrician for your son to be evaluated by a neurologist or psychiatrist. Impulsivity is certainly treatable. A very low dose of medication could give your son the self-control he needs before his self-esteem is damaged beyond repair.

Thanks for the advice guys...

School called again today talking about even more inappropriate things my son is not only doing... but "saying" at school.

DH and I don't know where he's getting these things... only thing we can think of is TV. Even some of the Teen Nick shows have boy/girl flirting... which isn't normally a problem for most kids... but for my son (who mimics everything) it IS a problem. I think we're going to have to ban the tv... except for G rated videos.

Part of me just wants to KEEP HIM HOME and homeschool him... I'm so scared of what he's going to say or do next! The last thing I want is for the school to think there's something "fishy" going on here at home and try to take away our kids! I know that's worse case scenario... we've got absolutely nothing to hide... but it still makes me nervous. My son is a loose cannon... there's no telling what will come out of his mouth next.

We love him dearly... he does have a good heart and means well... he just doesn't know how to act appropriately sometimes... and with 2 little sisters, it worries me.

His bio dad lives several states away... when it gets really bad, I sometimes think my son should go live with him for a while. My son has his dad's anger, his moodines, his temperment to a "T". It's definitely in his genes... he hasn't spent nearly enough time with his bio-dad to "learn" this behavior. I know that sounds like I'm giving up... but I'm just so tired. We all are.

Could he be asking the question again & again because doesn't totally "get" the answer? Maybe try a calendar. Write "Library Open" on each day it applies. The same with days it's closed. When he asks, bring out the calendar and have him look up the answer.

You could also totally bypass telling him, " The library's closed today." Instead tell him when he will be going. That is probably what's at the heart of his question anyway.


As far as the other behavior goes, if he's doing it for the reaction, maybe you could work something out so that while he's at school, he gets less attention for those type of behaviors. Do they do social stories with him to help teach him what's ok behavior?? :confused: ?

I don't if any of this will apply to you...just thought I'd toss a few suggestion.

No... I think with some questions (like the library being open) he DOES understand... just doesn't have a good short term memory sometimes (actually a lot). Then strangely, he'll remember the most random things for the longest time... things long forgotten by us.

As far as the other behavior goes... he doesn't "know" how to make friends in the traditional way... so I 'think' he's acting out just to get a reaction - ANY kind of reaction... if the kids are laughing at him, then maybe he feels like they're trying to be his friends. That's my theory. It's really sad... I think he's truly trying to reach out... but has a hard time doing so in the "right way".

Yes, they do "social stories" with him at school... but in light of recent events, they're doing them A LOT MORE.

Thanks for the thoughts...