[COLOR=Blue]Gday! My son is almost 9 and in year 3 at Primary school. Although he is in a main stream class he does attend the Special Education every day, and has an 'Aide' to help with regular activities.
The problem is that because he does not have the social skills or communication to recognise when he is being bullied. Yesterday he reported being hurt by 3 boys. One had punched him in the stomach, one had whipped hip with a rope causing bruising to the face and chest, and the other beat him over the face with a frisbee. What makes me frustrated is my son thinks they were playing and I dont have a clue as to how I can explain bullies. I have spoken to the headmaster and he dealt with the boys today,. but now I face to worry of the retaliating and taking it further.
Any ideas please>>

hi, im so sorry i really feel for you thats awful, Im a teacher and my 4 year old son is currently being investigated for Aspergers and thats one of my worries too, I attended a course on autism and the lady said that making people aware can help, making them understand that with autism the brain works in a different way not that the child is stupid, although i think with the ingonorant attitude of so many parents these days that many of the children wouldt give a damn, it makes me sick!!!!!! I worked at one school where a bullying incident took place and the mother went to the papers and it was disclosed that way although i dont know if that would make any difference or not, I guess you could try constantly reinforcing to your son the difference between play and hurting, make all of the staff aware and make sure a tough stand is taken on bullying, maybe do lots of role play with your son showing him wrong and right, encourage good friendships and make his friends aware of his needs so that he has a support group around him, im not sure i hope this helps, I really do feel for you!

My daughter is at mainstream school and is a typical child (my son is autistic). She has a boy with asbergers in her class. The school set up a buddy system i.e. the school explained autism to the children and each play time the children took it in turns to buddy up with the boy and include him in their games. They are now in primary 7 and the wee boy has now got a group of friends that he plays with all the time and as far as i know he is coping well.

perhaps explain to him that "play" doesn't HURT!! If it HURTS him, then he needs to say somehting to either the kids or someone else. Kids with AS need things spelled out and that may be all that he needs to realize that that kind of "play" is not correct!

WHERE were the teachers when this was going on? If this happened to my son I would be LIVID and up at that school rasing holly hell! This should NEVER NEVER NEVER happen to ANY child let alone one of ours!

Thanks for your help. I am monitoring my son and now that his teacher is aware she can keep an eye on him. Another problem we face at school is the fact that every year we have to start from scratch with teachers. Some are really patient with him and allow him to go "walkies" regularly during class time. This is essential for him as he just switches off otherwise. He doesnt just go anywhere, but is given tasks and jobs which require him to walk. Our teachers regularly attend workshops on Autism and Asperger as our school currently has 45 children attending with ASD.
All credit to those teachers who take the time to learn.

I was bullied in school. These were the days before Asperger Syndrome was recognized. I sometimes wonder how people like me (and before that, people like Roger Bannister) managed to make it all the way through college and live a good life before Asperger's was known about. Sometimes, I think I may not have done so well had it been known about.

I went thru this just last summer at school. My son was 10 though. He had gotten teased on the school bus and being played ruffly with by pinching by a supposedly class friend and had fallen out of seat onto the bus floor. And he was saying that a younger girl like 2 yr. younger was starting it and causing the other boys to do things. He would say and shes only a 3rd grader and gets them to pick on me. (first thought was I know girls like that even in my own family whew!) think its funny though someone is actually getting hurt or don't like it. Well when he was taking a bath that night and I saw a bruise on his ribcage and asked what that was form and was from so and so pinching him I got highly upset. I e-mailed the principal first thing telling the situation from my sons side of things and what he had said not naming any names and it was on the school bus. Then I e-mailed a teacher and then the guidance counselor. Well principal talked to my son then had a talk in the office with the other kids involved and I requested my son to sit from then on only at the front of the bus. When I rode a bus in school these types of things never happened we knew to sit in our seat and keep our hands to ourselves. But he still considers the kids friends even though they were 'bullying" him even if a friend. I hate that he lacks the social skills to be aware of when another child is really being a friend to him a true friend won't physically hurt you on purpose. But since then no other situations have happened. and I am glad that the campaigns to stop bullying in school is being taken seriously. Its really sad that the truth that the person doing the bullying is the one usually needing the help not the child being picked on. And I do agree that it does go back to a cause being the family/parents or whomever is the adult in the bullys life. A child wouldn't be so mean if not getting by with it at home.

Perfect Targets: Asperger Syndrome and Bullying--Practical Solutions for Surviving the Social World by Rebekah Heinrichs & Brenda Smith Myles is a book I would recommend. You may be able to get it through your local public library.

Best wishes.

Elmhar,

Thank you for the recommendation. It sounds interesting.