Thanks Cancer Dad, Alison, Osage and all who responded to my questions. My husband developed a fistula and was admitted to the hospital. He had surgery for a temporary colostomy on Feb. 2nd and is still in the hospital. He says he feels like he's been to hell and back, but is now turning the corner we think. One of our daughters had her baby on Feb 3rd, the day after his surgery. They are doing great. My husband is so weepy-is that normal? We are having help in learning how to deal with the colostomy tomorrow. The fistula was causing the horrific pain. He still has an epidural hooked up but may get rid of it tomorrow. Surgeon said things looked very good where the tumor is located. Thanks again for giving us hope.

Hi, I am glad they were able to identify the pain. Developing a fistula is not that uncommon....we were warned before treatment that it could happen. It is completely normal that your husband is weepy. He has been through a terrible time....and so have you. Unfortunately, we have been brought up to think that men do not cry and they have also been socialized to believe they should not. However, the reality is that both men and women experience fear, depression, anxiety and so on. Having a good cry sometimes helps. He still has a way to go so his emotions may well fluctuate over the next few weeks/months. Just be there for him. Cry with him when you feel to do so. If you have serious concern over his sadness, then a word with his doctors would do no harm but I would not be overly concerned now. He is just going through the normal grieving process.

Do keep us posted. I am sure the new grandchild will bring great joy to your family. My own grandchild was born a two days after my husband's surgery too! Unfortunately, she was born thousands of miles away, but it still added a wonderful positive dimension to our life.

Take care,

Hey guys-

My husband developed a fistula a couple of months ago from an abcess. Boy that was an experiance. Before the abcess ruptured he was in ALOT of pain. To the level of childbirth. He is going in for a colonoscopy March 10th to try and find the cause of the abcess and fistula. We really didn't know anything about this as we thought he had hemrroids. Now we don't really know what to expect with this. Any input would be much appreciated.

NikKi

Hubby is home now and doing better. We had a horrible time trying to find a pouch that didn't leak. Got some expert advice from a medical supply place and he is doing well. We have been taking short excursions to Walmart and the grocery store. The new grandson is 1200 miles away but they are coming to visit in a month or so. The other daughter is overdue and lives close by. What wonderful blessings to have the births happen so close to his recovery, giving him something to look forward to. He is not as weepy now only when I leave to go somewhere by myself or if his co-workers call. Thanks for your replies. His pain is mimimal now and he is learning to cope with the ostomy.Thank God for sites such as this. thanks Alison and NikNak

I am so glad to hear from you that your husband is doing better. As time goes by and he gets stronger and more comfortable with his ostomy, he will become less emotional. Short trips like the ones you mention will bring back a sense of normalcy. It will be wonderful for you both to see your new grandson soon. That will give you both focus as you recover from the emotional trauma of recent events. I hope you are looking after yourself too!

Take care,